Dads Building Self-esteem in Daughters

Posted by  on Saturday, January 28th 2012     

A dad is the first man a daughter loves and her experiences with her Dad are relationship predictors for her years to come. Positive involvement by Dads in their daughter’s lives correlated with a list of positive benefits such as “better peer relationships; fewer behavior problems;  higher educational / occupational mobility relative to parents’; capacity for empathy; non-traditional attitudes to earning and childcare; more satisfying adult sexual partnerships; and higher self-esteem, life-satisfaction and ‘locus of control” (Pleck, J.H., & Masciadrelli, B.P. (2004). Paternal Involvement by U.S. residential fathers: levels, sources and consequences. In M.E. Lamb (ed.), The Role of the Father in Child Development (4th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.)

One way to ensure that our daughters develop a healthy self-esteem is by showing them respect while they are young. If you expect them not interrupt you while you are talking, then set the example and don’t interrupt them while they are speaking. If you want them to believe in themselves, sincerely tell them how wonderful they are and how glad you are that they are in your life.

Another way to show that you value your daughter is by spending time doing what she wants to do. Give her your undivided attention. Just think of all the errands that kids go on with you. Do you think they enjoy waiting in line at the grocery store or sitting in a chair twice too big for them while you get your hair cut? Probably not, but any situation can lend itself to quality time spent if you make it educational and fun. You just might get better cooperation from as a result.

Read the rest of this entry »

category: Dads, Dr. Caron B. Goode, Family Resources, Parents

Connecting……… Forgiveness and Friendship

Posted by  on Friday, January 27th 2012     

By Caron Goode

It was 1960. Jessica was nine years old and Rusty was ten. His family was Baptist and hers was Catholic. When his family moved into the neighborhood, Rusty became the youngest member of the thirteen boys in the neighborhood gang. One Saturday afternoon, the two girls of the neighborhood were walking home from the movie theater. Jessica said goodbye to her friend and headed home to help her mother.

Some of the neighborhood boys grabbed Jessica by the arms, held her, and threw a coarse rope around her neck. It happened so fast, she offered no resistance, and she pushed her hands between the rope and her neck to keep from choking.

The boys pulled her down the alley behind the houses. Jessica was tripping over her own feet, and fell several times, bruising her knees. She dared not cry for fear of what they would do to her. She couldn’t speak; she could barely breathe.

Finally they shoved her into her back yard. They pulled the rope taught until she turned red and tears streamed down her face. Mortified, embarrassed, hurt, and dying to run away, she wondered where her mother was. May be she was looking out a window and would come and rescue her any moment. Mom?  Her mother never came. Jessica knew the utter feeling of helplessness at the hands of these young bullies.

Finally they all ran away. Jessica lay on the grass and looked up at passing clouds until she could quit sobbing and breathe again and her trembling would stop. She felt a hand touch her hand. She looked over and Rusty was sitting cross-legged beside her. He was crying too.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t stop it. They are bigger than me, and so mean today. I want to be your friend, and I never want you to hurt again. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it……..” The rest of Rusty’s words were unintelligible through his tears.

Jessica squeezed his hand. She couldn’t say anything yet. And they understood each other. She forgave him, grateful for the offer of friendship.

Is Parent Coaching the Right Self-Employment Option For You?

Posted by  on Thursday, January 26th 2012     

Parent coaching has all the right stuff. As a career, it offers flexibility, personal satisfaction, and unlimited earning potential. It is also one of the fastest growing home based businesses today. This makes it ideal for parents, career switchers, and retirees, but is it right for you?

Parent coaches come from all walks of life. They are teachers and therapists. They are mothers, fathers, and grandparents. They are former corporate leaders and nine-to-five refugees. They are anyone with an intense desire to help parents get the most out of family life.

“Coaching is solution oriented,” says seasoned parent and lifestyle coach Natalie Gahrmann. “It is not someone just guessing. It is, ´Tell me about the problem, then tell me what you are going to do about it.´ If you don´t know what to do about it, I can help you with that, but don´t tell me there is nothing you can do about it and you are stuck here as a victim.”

Characteristics of a Good Parent Coach

A successful coach/client partnership is built from the ground up, and is essential to the entire coaching process. In order to help parents reach their personal and familial goals, a coach must be able to develop a trusting and respectful relationship with their client. It is from this point that she can begin to chip away at the parent´s insecurity, which gives parents the confidence to handle problems and reach their desired goals.

“A parent coach is someone who partners with you to help you remove all your fears of parenting,” says veteran parent coach Peggy Alvarado. “They help you gain the confidence to raise the type of children you always wished them to be.”

Alvarado, a former software technology executive, believes that even though each individual has a unique coaching style, there are certain characteristics all good parent coaches share. They include:

Being a good listener. Parent coaches are trained to be compassionate and insightful listeners. They do not listen for listening sake. They instead listen for clues and solutions to problems that maybe even the client does not realize they know.

Inquisitiveness. Parent coaches must have an inquisitive nature. They need to be able to ask thoughtful questions that require action oriented answers. “It isn´t just about listening,” says Gahrmann. “It is also about being provocative and helping people get to a new place. I help people find their own solutions, and together we come up with the action to do that.”

Objectivity. Parent coaches must be capable maintaining objectivity when it comes to their clients and their situations. Coaches are not friends who are called upon for unconditional support. They are people who you enlist to help you define your goals and help you devise an action plan to meet those goals. They are someone you depend on to see all the picture and support you in the decisions you make.

Assertiveness. Parent coaches must be assertive enough to challenge their clients and ask questions that demand answers. “There is a synergy that happens between people that helps come up with other solutions,” says Gahrmann. “Some people say I can do A or B, and they are often opposite ends of the spectrum, but if I say well what if you do this, the next thing you know, they have ten choices in front of them.”

Openness. Having an open nature is one of the greatest attributes any parent coach can have. It is important that coaches be open minded in regards to people, situations, and themselves. Coaches must be open to all people in all stages of life, but they must also be aware of their own individual strengths and weaknesses. They must realize that no one person can ever know everything or be the most non-judgmental or objective you can be.

Curiosity. Good parent coaches are curious people. They are interested in learning about their clients, their situations, and what resources and information is available to them. Coaches are constantly working to find new approaches and solutions for their clients and themselves. They are always learning and interested in learning because parent coaching is definitely a continuing education field. “One of the things that makes a great coach is realizing that because you are a coach today does not mean you are done and you can go on and not work on it,” says Alvarado. “There are always ways to develop yourself and become that much better.”

If you feel a calling to start a new profession as a trained and certified coach for parents or families, visit www.acpi.biz to understand how you can achieve this goal is six months. (www.acpi.biz)

Connecting………to Spirit in Unstructured Time

Posted by  on Wednesday, January 25th 2012     

By Caron Goode

Today, it seems our children’s lives consist of spending time at school, joining in adult play such organized sports or other organized activities, or passively watching television. What is missing is unstructured time, the time children need to mature and develop their own unique expression and understanding. Only when children interact with the world on their own terms, rather than experiencing everything through the goals and attitudes of parents and educators, will they discover who they are in an intimate, personal way.

How often have you heard, “I’m bored? There’s nothing to do.” How often have you replied, “Go outside and play. Go watch television. Find something to do.”  Next time you hear that boredom complaint, say this, “Great. Wonderful. Take some space.”

“Space” is one of the best ways to allow the mind and body to integrate and find peace.
We can provide a space for our children to relax, reflect, or empty their mind. You may call it ‘take a breather,’ ‘time-out,’ ‘peace and quiet,’ ‘doing nothing,’ or being.

We use the term space to describe a state that is empty of expectations, conditions, and outcomes.  Having space is having unstructured time. Children and adults have difficulty with this. Unstructured time and space are challenging because we are used to the responsibilities of a skillful job or homework where the rules of how to use time are spelled out.

If we can teach children and ourselves to use unstructured time and space creatively, we can discover our beauty and unconditional worthiness.  Do your children know how to do nothing? Can they discover the precious instants of revelation hidden in moments of stillness and silence?

We need to provide this space for our children if they are ever to manage wholeness and integration along the stress continuum. It is a space where they are in charge and not stimulated by anything external to themselves. The space of their inner worlds inspires music and poetry. A child can learn confidence as a co-creator with life.

We often forget that life is creation unfolding. We create cells and tissues out of the energies found in the chemistry of the plant, animal, and mineral kingdoms. We create thoughts, words, and ideas from the limitless field of our experiences. We grasp life through the creative action of our senses and the endless searching of our hearts. Children need time to explore creation and the space to create.

Children create a world of events and experiences out of a space that unfolds as it continues to reveal itself, rather than beginning from a set of predetermined goals. Creativity is the world of the child- the child that we are responsible for raising, and the child we are responsible for preserving and nurturing in ourselves.

Spirituality reflects the simplicity of the heart. Our careers and our friends are all symbols that represent simple desires and needs of the spirit. What we want out of life is the experience of unconditional love, feeling secure about our unique visions, being affirmed, being forgiven and accepted despite our mistakes. We want to feel worthy without having to prove anything to anybody, even when we feel overwhelmed and powerless. We want this and our children want this.

Love is an Action Word: Tangible Ways to Connect to Your Child

Posted by  on Wednesday, January 25th 2012     

By Dr. Caron Goode

While saying “I love you” expresses how you feel to your child, when you’re able to clearly communicate your love in a tangible way that your child understands, there’s no chance your child will miss the message. Considering your child’s interactive style when showing expressions of love helps assure that your child, without a doubt, feels love, cared for and connected.

Many parents, especially those of multiples, recognize that each child has  his or her way of learning about the world. During the toddler years, for example, a parent may recognize that one child has more success learning a new skill when he tackles it on his own, while another has more success when modeling the activity after mom or dad.

This is because each child interacts with their world differently. In fact, there are four separate and distinct categories of interactive styles. These groups include achievers, thinkers, harmonizers and influencers. While there are bits and pieces of each interactive style in all of our children, children typically exhibit one or two dominant styles that direct how they interact with their world.

For this reason, it should be no surprise that a child’s interactive style also influences how they feel and receive love. Once you understand what your child’s interactive style is, you clearly speak their love language, connect with them on a deeper level and tangibly demonstrate your love for them in a way they’ll understand and appreciate.

Achievers tend to be children who have a great need for freedom and self-expression. These children shy away from talking about their problems and feelings, and instead love the challenge of trying something new and achieving a goal. Achievers tend to be independent and appreciate all that is concrete. They often don’t like to show or receive much affection. Parents of achievers can tangibly show their child by love by giving gifts, offering positive, purposeful praise and by acknowledging and recognizing their child’s achievements. Also don’t be afraid to challenge them to something new. They thrive on learning experientially.

Thinkers tend to be children who thoroughly examine issues. These children tend to be non-competitive with others, but set high standards for themselves. They are great team members, and loved to be involved in family activities. Thinkers tend to be perfectionists and value relationships, intimacy and trust. Parents of thinkers can tangibly show their child love by spending time with their child, discussing issues of interest, read books and magazines together, demonstrating understanding and speaking lots of positive words of affirmation to their child.

Harmonizers tend to be children who are the peacemakers of the family. These children tend to internalize their feelings and worry about those close to them. Harmonizers crave stability and value relationships. Parents of harmonizers can tangibly show their child love by setting up a weekly “date night” where they spend time doing something special together, by giving gifts, by demonstrating trust, and by modeling open and honest communication.

Influencers tend to be children who are creative and artistic. These children tend to be dreamers and love being the center of attention. Influencers tend to be affectionate and like to be around others.  Parents of influencers can tangibly show their child love by supporting and fostering their creative spirit, by sharing an interest in the arts, by doing something creative together, like an art project or writing a song, by showing lots of affection and by actively engaging their child in doing things of interest to him.

All children have a deep desire to feel loved, accepted and liked by their parents. When children experience a warm and loving parental relationship, they have increased self-esteem and confidence. Children who feel good about themselves are less likely to seek out negative attention or to engage in risky social behaviors. Considering your child’s interactive style when showing expression of love can help assure that your child, without a doubt, feels love, cared for and connected.

Dr. Goode is a licensed counselor, author of a dozen books, speaker, and parent
coach.  She is the founder of and serves on the faculty of the Academy for Coaching Parents International (www.acpi.biz). She has recently co-authored (with Tara Paterson)
the award-winning book, Raising Intuitive Children and Nurture Your Child’s Gift. Both are available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

© 2010 by Dr. Caron Goode. You may reprint this article, leaving as is without changes, unless you receive permission from Dr. Goode. Email: carongoode@mac.com.

Nothing But Love

Posted by  on Wednesday, January 25th 2012     

“The issue is not so much being loved but being loving, which leads to the same wonderful feeling you experience when someone loves you.” –Carol Pearson

Love is used to describe many things and often used to describe many relationships throughout ones life, but true love is found in the heart of a child.  I loved, adored my oldest son from the day he was born.  He was always happy and pleasant to be around;  he slept through the night at 7 weeks old and could be taken to any restaurant at any time and would never so much as sigh;  he was cute as could be and photogenic to boot.  He was an all around perfect baby.  I couldn’t have loved any one or any thing more.  I truly understood what the word love meant or so that’s what I thought.  My life was complete and my heart was full.

When Adam was 18 months old, I found out I was pregnant again and not too pleased about it.  I was happy and content with my one child, our home and my life.  A few weeks after we received the news, I had a miscarriage.  I was somewhat relieved and went back to things as they were.  God had a plan, he always does.  Another 9 months passed and I found out I was pregnant again.  This time I felt some excitement about another baby, but the sonogram showed I would have yet another miscarriage.  This time it was twins.  I was in disbelief, but knew God had a plan, he always does.  So when the news came again 1 year later I was pregnant, I deemed this pregnancy as high risk and took precautions to ensure I carried this baby to term.

Nine months later our 2nd baby boy entered the world with ease.  My labor and delivery went quickly and smoothly and by the looks of things, we would be blessed with another easy going baby.  Within a few weeks however, things didn’t appear to be going quite as planned.  Caden did not sleep through the night by 7 weeks of age; he was not permitted to enter nice restaurants as a sigh would have been the quietest of moments; he didn’t travel long distances peacefully; and he was an attention seeker.  He was all around quite the opposite of Adam.  My life lesson- I did not know what unconditional love was.  I was finding it out in the midst of sleepless nights and chronic spit up.  I was entering into uncharted territory as from one moment to the next I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry, but a change would take place that would leap frog my heart into a place I had not yet visited.  I was learning what unconditional love truly was.  By the time Caden was 2, the only words used to describe him were- he is nothing but pure love.  He had an energy that surrounded him I had never been exposed to.  Everyone who met this child commented on how sweet he was or how he exuded nothing but love. There was something really special about Caden and he would prove to be my greatest teacher in many, many ways.

One of his first tests as a toddler would be in the area of patience.  In a rush to accomplish all of my work- house, business and otherwise- I neglected the signs Caden was handing me on a silver platter- pay attention to me! I ran upstairs for a shower about 20 minutes before Adam was due home from school.  My objective was to be ready to take Adam shopping, which he had hopefully requested every day for a week.

Caden, meanwhile, was quietly watching “Shrek” in the playroom, and I gave little thought to what mischief he could be getting into.  Showered, dressed and hair dried in 15 minutes, I came down with five minutes to spare. I opened the door to the playroom and was met with a surprise I could not have imagined. Every single one of our 15-plus board games were scattered all over the floor. I stood there in shock and disbelief. I never knew how many pieces were in a game of Risk and stood there horrified, trying to figure out how to begin cleaning up the mess.  This would be the first of many messes Caden would bring into our lives.  Today we lovingly joke about how Caden makes a mess with just about anything he touches.  To be transformed from a clean freak to a mom who just accepts what is, has been an evolution all unto itself.  Love truly does come in many forms!

He also has a knack for appearing at the right moment with a- mommy, I love you; or a funny anecdote or hug.  After my dad passed away, for more than a year he would say, out of the blue- I miss papa or my heart hurts.  I am constantly in awe of the words he uses to describe how things make him feel.  He would pop into the room to tell my mom he loved her and can intuitively sense when someone needs a pick me up.  I am also amazed at how aware he is of the people and things around him, including animals.  He is often touched by the emotion he sees in another child or even watching something on T.V.  One night, we were teaching our 11 month old “don’t touch.”  She continued to grab at a fake plant on the fireplace hearth and our concern was she would pull it over with her weight which could lead to her getting seriously hurt.  After repeated attempts at simply saying- “no, don’t touch,” my husband proceeded to pat her hand in an authoritative I mean business fashion.  The drama began and the crocodile tears streamed down her little face.  Caden who was a witness to the interaction, began to cry himself in consolation of his little sister.  It was at that moment my husband and I both realized we were in for an interesting journey if we were to teach our youngest one what no means.

As I have traveled this journey as a parent, I have come to realize the blessings our children bestow upon us.  Children aren’t born to us as beings to control, but rather people to learn from.  I owe a debt of gratitude to all of my children, but to Caden for showing me the beauty of pure love; the simplest and most abundant resource in the Universe.  The love of a child is the essential ingredient necessary to develop a competent and loving adult.  I observe the love my children grace this world with and have come to realize that if I can learn half of what they know, I will be doing well in this lifetime.

“Grown men can learn from very little children for the hearts of little children are pure.  Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss.” –Black Elk

© 2007, Tara Paterson

Good Parenting Skills 101

Posted by  on Wednesday, January 25th 2012     

Parenting is a skill set which can be learned. Being a parent is a joyous thing, but good parenting skills are something that you have to continuously work at. You will never be a “perfect” parent, because we all make mistakes. Here are a few tips to ensure that you are being the best parent that you can be.

1. Show Love

Always give your children a lot of love. Tell them “I love you” and make sure they know that they are special to you. Provide them with a lot of hugs and kisses and always be there when they need a shoulder to cry on. But real love is more than saying a few words and being available. The behavior of loving means being respectful to your child, showing kindness, caring enough to spend time in taking a walk, reading a story, and sharing stories of your own life.

2. Listen When Your Child Talks

Listening to your children shows them that they are important to you. No matter how strange or ridiculous it may be, listen to your child’s stories, ideas and complaints. When you listen to your children then they know that you are interested in what they have to say. Don’t just pretend to be listening, as children can quickly see that you are really not that interested and that you are just pretending. Value their ideas and ask them to tell you more.

3. Make Your Child Feel Safe

Children are defenseless in life and they may be scared easily by things they don’t understand. Comforting your child at every stage in life will provide them with the security they need. They need to know that you are there for them and

Read the rest of this entry »

Do You Say You’re Sorry?

Posted by  on Monday, January 23rd 2012     

By:  Mark Brandenburg

There’s one thing that’s pretty consistent about parenting your kids: You’ll keep making mistakes with them. Whether it’s getting angry, forgetting something, or treating them badly, we all seem to make our share of mistakes. And sometimes, there’s only one thing you can do about it:

Say you’re sorry – mean it – and move on in your life.

If you tell your child you’re sorry and you’re really not, they’ll know it. If you beat yourself up after screwing something up, you’re liable to lose the learning along the way. Fathers who don’t apologize are monsters. Fathers who apologize over and over create monsters!

It’s not an easy thing to do, saying you’re sorry to your child. Part of you may ask, “Why should I say sorry to you after all I’ve done for you?” Say it anyway. After all, kids don’t need perfect fathers.

They just need fathers that are trying to get better.

Special Needs: Don’t Let Statistics Rob Your Hope and Joy

Posted by  on Saturday, January 21st 2012     

by Foster Cline, MD and Lisa C. Greene

When a child is first diagnosed with a medical condition, especially a life-threatening one, the first question many parents understandably ask is, “How long does my child have to live?” Medical professionals respond by quoting the statistics.

Statistically, all illnesses have a somewhat predictable course or an “average life expectancy.” But statistics based on the group norms may be very misleading and even disabling when applied to individual children. It’s very hard to predict who will be among the many who “beat the odds.”

Historically, medical professionals have been known to advise parents of children with cystic fibrosis not to worry about saving for their children’s college education. And parents have been known to lower their expectations concerning their children’s performance in school, sports, or other important matters relating to the future and living a “normal” life.

This lowering of expectations, with its suggestion of a “What’s the use?” attitude does a great disservice to children. It encourages them to become both entitled and to feel hopeless within themselves. Achievement and self-image both suffer.

The average life expectancy for many diseases is increasing at a fairly rapid rate due to medical advances. What might be an accurate statistic today probably won’t be tomorrow. While it is important to understand the statistics, it is not helpful to be governed by them. The Nash family knew this to be true:

When Liz was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis in 1973, her parents were told not to expect her to graduate from high school. She did much more than that. Liz earned a PhD in molecular genetics, interned at Johns Hopkins University and went on to become a research scientist in CF. She also volunteered as a mentor to teens with CF, who struggled with thoughts about their future and medical compliance.

Liz was optimistic, enthusiastic, and passionate about her life’s work and interests. She shunned the limitations imposed by CF.   As captain of her college ski team she refused to give up the sport when oxygen became necessary. She simply skied with a backpack filled with portable oxygen tanks.

As an inspiring individual, Elizabeth Nash was selected to carry the 2002 OlympicTorch through Union Square in San Francisco. Liz died at nearly 33, well past her “statistical average” at the time but her spirit lives on as her example and courage continue to bring hope to families with CF.
With many medical conditions, there is a strong correlation between good self-care and longevity. Parents can use statistics to inspire hope and spark an “I can beat this” attitude. Parents who give off positive, “we can beat this” vibes generally raise kids with the same determined spirit. We have met many CF parents and their children who demonstrate this indomitable and inspiring attitude.

In summary, wise parents handle statistics and medical predictions by:

  • Emphasizing that significant medical progress is being made in almost all areas, and that health and longevity are increasing for almost all illnesses.
  • Realizing that for all individuals, the future is unknown.
  • Many lives are shortened by unexpected illness and traumatic events.
  • Encouraging their children to believe that they have every chance of being one of those children “who fall on the high side of the bell curve because you take such good care of yourself.”
  • Understanding that the quality of a life is measured not by its length, but by the amount of love, accomplishment, and giving that fills it.
  • Understanding that worrying about the future and chewing on the mistakes of yesterday rob both today and tomorrow. The resulting hopelessness, negativity, and worry can shorten lives and certainly diminish the quality of life.
  • Believing that those who bravely face life’s obstacles build a character that not only leads them to be more capable people and leaders, but sets an example that enhances the lives of all with whom they come in contact.
  • Answering a child’s questions about the course of his or her illness can be difficult. How can parents answer their child’s questions with hope if they have not come to a good place themselves? The child will almost always take the parent’s cues. So don’t let scary statistics rob your hope and joy!

***********************

From the book “Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions and Other Special Needs” by Foster Cline, M.D. and Lisa C. Greene available at bookstores. Dr. Cline is a well-known child psychiatrist, author, and co-founder of the popular Love and Logic parenting program. Lisa is the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis and a parent coach.  For free audio, articles and other resources, visit   ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues dot com.

Filling Your Belly: Families Setting Up a Food Tree

Posted by  on Wednesday, January 18th 2012     

The day we brought our newborn son home from the hospital, our friends Ned and Margaret brought us dinner. I can remember it precisely – a mushroom lasagna, green salad, a loaf of fresh-baked French bread and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. I was stunned by their incredible generosity. It was one of the most delicious and satisfying meals I have ever had.

Making meals for new parents, for busy two income families, or for those with or caring for an illness, is one of the greatest gifts one can give.

Postpartum mothers need lots of rest, nurturing, and nourishment. Many women focus on the birth, thinking it’s all over when the baby is born. But really it has just begun. New mothers need special care in the first few postpartum weeks. They need time to deal with their complex emotions, their changing body and the awesome task of infant care.

There is little social recognition of what it takes to be a new mother. Some estimate that half of all new mothers suffer from some level of postpartum depression. I think a lot of that stems from our expectations, both societies and our own, to do it all. What we need to do is not easy, especially for a women accustomed to taking care of others. We need to ask for help.

Preparing and delivering meals is a tremendous help. It not only frees up both parents from shopping, cooking, and cleaning but it provides loving nourishment. No outfit, no matter how adorable, will matter as much as providing meals.

One way to make sure you will be fed is to plan it during your Blessingway. Ask your friends and family to sign up for a dinner. Not everyone will want or be able to do this so figure out a graceful way for people not to sign up. Bringing a basket of muffins or a coupon for a delivered pizza is just as supportive and is welcome months after a child is born.

Order the list by Day 1, Day 2 and so on, not by day of the week. You won’t know when the birth-day is yet. Friends can cook more than once. When your baby is born call the friend in charge of the list. She will then call everyone and tell them that Day 3 is now Tuesday. It will take some rearranging so the person organizing it needs to be flexible but persistent. Discuss dietary needs and wants at your Blessingway. When it’s time to deliver dinner, keep your visit short and offer any other help if you’re so inclined. Some families leave a cooler by the front door and ask friends not to ring or knock and just leave dinner. Add a note of congratulations or any cooking directions they might need for the dinner. Plan to have a new meal brought every day for the first week then check back in with the parents. They may be swimming in leftovers so you may be able to have friends bring a meal every other day for the next two weeks. You may also find that certain foods affect you or your baby so tell the organizer so she can pass the word. Many new moms avoid cabbage, onions, tomatoes, broccoli, and other gas-producing foods.

Nola noticed her baby spit up more whenever she ate raw spinach or lettuce so she stopped eating them. She ate cooked spinach and slowly introduced raw greens back into her diet when her daughter was about a month old. By then her daughters’ digestive system had calmed down and she could tolerate a wider variety of tastes and compounds in her mom’s breast milk.

If cooking isn’t your thing or if a new family needs more meals than friends can provide, you can call on a gourmet meals delivery service. “Food is the most powerful drug we can take,” says personal chef, Susan Sears Smith, “And new moms need fresh foods in beautiful abundance.”  The menus and particulars of the services vary but each chef is dedicated to providing wholesome ingredients cooked with skillful care.

With the bounty of fresh foods available and the trained chefs ready to cook for you in most metropolitan areas, there’s no excuse for not eating well. Move beyond pizza, fast food, and frozen dinners. “The connection between food and health and healing is very important,” says Smith. “I like to delight the taste buds and take care of the body.”

Creating a food tree
Use this as a template to create a food tree:
Name
Phone
Email
Availability
Possible meals

Postpartum foods for nursing mothers
Avoid:
• Gas-producing foods such as cabbage, onions tomatoes, broccoli, fried, and sugary foods
• Avoid beans unless they are part of your regular diet
• Do not eat shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish, because they may be contaminated with mercury
• Spicy foods (some babies tolerate spicy foods better than others)
• Alcohol
• Caffeinated beverages

Add:
• Lots and lots of water!
• Avoid constipation by including fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in your diet
• Prunes and bran can help if you have a tendency toward constipation
• Iron-rich foods such as red meats, dried beans and peas, or enriched cereals to avoid anemia
• Calcium-rich foods such as milk, yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, and dark green leafy vegetables.
About The Author …
Anna Stewart, B.A., C.M.T., C.H.T., mothers three young children, one with special needs. In her classes, workshops and services, she weaves her expertise as a professional writer, creative artist and student of rhythm dance. Her intention is to provide a safe environment for women to explore their personal experiences and feelings as mothers. Her skills as well as her passion to bear witness to others provides a solid base for compassionate understanding of the individual and the larger community.

Anna offers a number of classes in the Boulder, Colorado area. She can be reached at 303-499-7681 or via e-mail at anna@motherhands.com.

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Parenting does not have to be a mystery!

A welcome resource for parents
The Art & Science of Parent Coaching is a starter kit for those who want to break into the field of professional parent coaching, and those who are already coaches but would like this specialty niche. Until now, there has been no book available for those caring individuals who want to help parents and their children by specializing in the field of parent coaching in addition to establishing a lucrative home-based business.

A starter kit for professionals
At approximately 200 pages, the book is organized into three parts with a total of twenty chapters. It is backed by the latest professional and educational research into coaching techniques, packed with quotes from the country’s leading parent coaches, supported with case studies, and supplemented with business and information forms, sidebars, and sample press releases and brochures. There is a summary at the end of each chapter for quick review and study.

Review Part One of Art & Science of Coaching Parents FREE, or Buy Today!

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Parent Coach Careers

ACPI Certified Coach for Parents (CCP) curriculum was designed with coursework from top research and information in the field and includes the guidance of professionals who have successfully practiced what they teach. Use the resources below to fully explore all that an ACPI Certified Coach for Parents training can offer you and your career opportunities.

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Information & Resources for Parents

Through our research here at ACPI we have found information that can be very useful to parents and families who do not yet have the benefit of a Parent Coach of their own. The resources below are a starting point for information on parenting and family topics.