Visualize yourself standing in front of a group of friends and strangers to make this announcement:
What I stand for is….
What would be the first three words out of your mouth?
- Usually the first words spoken aloud to others are the three values that guide your life.
- provide building blocks for our children because they need parameters, or ways to measure their decisions and mistakes. A family coach creates values games to coach kids to believe in what they feel is important.
- Also, values are the core of most family and parental decisions regarding food, socializing, television viewing, religious beliefs, how to speak to people, and so on.
- Find out what your values are and see how they guide the communication and interactions in your family. Where you do not agree, compromise and then respect the commitments you make.
Everyone Is Right About
The family coach listens, honors, and shares how simple acceptance of everyone’s unique value provides a path to pursue, vocation, interests, hobbies, playing, and more. One healthy rule for discussing values is to honor all values. Everyone is right about hisor her own values; no one gets to “be right.”
Setting family values, and then priorities, are about the three”Cs”: communication, compromise, and collaboration.
Your values as parents shape your parenting vision,
which is the picture you see of how you want your family to be.
While values are the terrain, your vision becomes the road along which you navigate.
Vision for your family
Your vision for your family consists of the little things (like what you feed your bodies) to spiritualaspects of life—like what you feed your soul. What emotional expressions are allowed in your house? What emotional atmosphere are you willing to cultivate in the family? Can people talk together? How do you discipline? What do you care about? What do you like to do together? How will you and your children spend their time? What do expect of one another?
I realize that these questions seem obvious. Yet, people get married each day without having discussed whether they even want children. The romantic bliss of love and bonding makes us believe that it will all work out and that, because we love each other, we will agree with each other or deal with it as it comes along. This is how many people live together in families, existing blissfully or numbly until a crisis hits. Then they live from crisis to crisis. Then arguing starts and children wonder if a divorce is pending. Emotional toxicity and fear replace communication and love.
Defining your values—and envisioning what you want your relationship and your family—will provide a plan in which all can feel safe and committed to the same goals.
© by Dr. Caron Goode is the founder of HeartWise Coaching Institute, a training schools for a professional coaches in parenting, relationships, intuition, and personal transformation. (http://coach-training-global.com) See Caron’s and Dr. Minette Riordan’s new book, From Fizzle to Sizzle, 4 Crucial Tools for Relationship Repair at http://heratwiserelationships.com