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Four New Tools Every Parent Absolutely Needs

WHY? - Your children model your self confidence, your values, and sometimes your style of communication. Find out how these tools can improve your family life, communication, and create more effective interactions. Learn More!

 

Moms of Toddlers

Download a free course from Inspired Parenting, entitled NURTURE YOUR CHILD'S GIFT - WITH MUSIC!

 

Praise

Dear Caron,
I am an RN and just started a new job in a mental health facility. The focus is on children and adolescence. We do a daily "group" with them. We may pick the topic the only criteria being "education" of some sort. I wanted to offer some valuable coping skills kids could use. So, I went to the computer and spent over an hour clicking on lists of Internet items looking for help. I was getting very tired and needed to go to bed. When bingo" I found your article on kids, trauma, and coping skills! I just wanted to say a great big thank-you for your helpful article!
Sincerely ,
Charlotte Rogers

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Caron Goode

Moving Through Pregnancy with Style

The renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung understood that people have a natural approach to life and learn in different ways. If you understand your innate style to interactions with people and the environment, then you plan for and control your life in a safe, easy way. This is imperative during pregnancy because your body otherwise takes over and you cannot control your responses to life and enjoy the beautiful miracle of it all. Your key to successful planning and managing stress and activity throughout your pregnancy is to know your natural inclination. Then, you can:

  • Design your environment to suit your needs

  • Plan ahead for stressful situations

  • Know where to focus your energy efficiently

  • Plan for the help you will need

  • Be true to yourself and your temperament

  • Use your gifts and talents accordingly

When you use techniques that make you feel calmer and happier, or can think in the optimal fashion, you are using your personal style approach. You are considering your wholeness in physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health because you know your responsibility is to your child as well as yourself. Think of yourself as a whole woman, using the science of personal styles for planning a healthful pregnancy. Remember as you find your personal style in the next set of descriptions that you may have one or two different styles or be a combination of several.

Cognitive Style: Cognitive Cathy is a deep thinker and loves learning. If she could be a perpetual student, she'd be happy because she loves researching new things. Cathy likes to read new information; she considers all options before making important decisions. Part of thinking through all options before acting is asking all the right questions. Cognitive Cathy is an organized person who values one-on-one time with her partner and friends. She enjoys long lunches, discussions about the meaning of existence, and romantic dinners. She prefers alone time with friends rather than parties and crowds. Cognitive Cathy likes to do things right, even if it means attending to the detail two or three times until she is happy with the project.

If you are Cognitive Cathy, your greatest challenge during pregnancy is not to worry. You can meet this by knowing how to control your thoughts and educating yourself when you need answers. Another tip is to for you let go of that perfectionist streak and enjoy your pregnancy while a few tasks go undone.

Interpersonal Style: Interpersonal Isabella values harmony in her world above all else. Isabella is consistent, reliable, and practical. Friends call her predictable. Sometimes Interpersonal Isabella is so helpful and caring that people tend to rely on her, even to the point of taking her for granted or assuming that she wouldn't mind if they call on her. During Isabella's pregnancy, she needs to set the number one rule: Take care of herself first so she has energy left over. Isabella tends to be non-assertive anyway because she doesn't like to rock the boat, and during pregnancy, she may find yourself overly sensitive and shy. Interpersonal Isabella has to make a point to talk with her partner about needs for appreciation and conversation as her body changes and hormones shift.

If you are like Interpersonal Isabella, your greatest challenges during pregnancy will be to get the help you deserve and to take quiet time for yourself. Otherwise, you could become overly sensitive and overcritical without meaning to be that way. Keep communication open with friends and family to talk through any issues that arise. Let nothing fester within you.

Behavioral: Behavioral Barb loves the popular book, Just Do It. She made it her motto because she likes to achieve. Barb does not consider herself successful until a project is finished, no matter how long it takes. Behavioral Barb is a doer who can put a plan together easily, set goals, and make a quick decision and run a household or an organization with strong leadership. Barb is rational, not impulsive like Interpersonal Isabella. Barb is not a risk taker. She'll enjoy the challenge of pregnancy, and not likely to let it hold her back from the tasks she wants to accomplish. Behavioral Barb tends to be a loner and like to be independent in order to control and keep order in her world. If you are a Behavioral Barb, your greatest challenge will be not to treat your pregnancy like another task on your busy schedule, and not to expect your child to fit into your business. You would be a perfect work-at-home mom because of your focus and your discipline. Another challenge will be to accept that you cannot control your pregnancy, and when a situation like not being able to put on your shoes calls for surrendering gracefully, then be able to do so.

Affective Style: Affective Alicia is a creative and artistic individual who'll approach pregnancy sensually. Alicia deeply feels the changes in her body and celebrates them with her partner or other women. Alicia surrounds herself with happy and positive people during this time as it means a lot to her. In fact, she draws energy and strength from others, and can get bored if not the center of attention or angry if others disagree with her. Of all the styles, Affective Alicia finds it easiest to stay positive and tends to move away from people who disagree or who don't stay as upbeat as her. She is a dreamer who is bored to tears with routine and habit as she loves entertainment and recreation. If you are an Affective Alicia, your greatest challenge during pregnancy is self-discipline and routine for your care and that of your child. As you are easily influenced by people and activity around you, don't lose yourself. Pregnancy is maturing time in a woman's life to discover her strength of character. You'll savor the richness of feelings and sensuality.

Would you like to know your Personal Style? CLICK HERE to find the Personal Style Online Indicator. You can have your answer in five quick minutes!

About The Author ...

Caron Goode's (EdD) insights are drawn from her fifteen years in private psychotherapy practice and thirty years of experience in the fields of education, personal empowerment, and health and wellness. She is the author of eight books (www.inspiredparenting.net ) and the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents,(www.acpi.biz) a training program for parents & professionals who wish to mentor other parents. A mom and step-mom, she and her husband live in Whitney, Texas. Reach her at caronbgoode@inspiredparenting.net.

 

   
©2007 HeartWise Parenting