You may have experienced emotional awareness already: knowing you’re in a bad mood; knowing you’re elated, etc.
But there is a second step to your emotional awareness that some people never consider that it’s something they have control over at all. That second step is – WHY am I feeling this?
Certainly, the question of why you have an experience is important when you have a negative mindset. Happiness is a given, and we know why it occurred. But a negative emotions may be more difficult to track and change.
Here’s a simplified example: Your neighbor announced that they are moving into a brand-new home, bigger and much nicer than the home they currently have. Outwardly you are happy for them, but negative emotions rise and make you wary.
You may feel envious of their new, bigger, and better space. At first, perhaps you’re jealous of their step up. Deeper down, you feel envious or actually angry at yourself for not working to your potential to receive a promotion, and allowing you to have that new home.
Deeper down, you may be feeling inadequate, as if you can’t provide nice things for your family.
Increasing your emotional awareness can help you figure out these deeper feelings, and then work towards solutions.
Here are three easy steps to increase your emotional awareness, and thereby learn to control and modify what you’re feeling more accurately.
- Get into the habit of assessing how you’re feeling during different times of the day. This isn’t to judge what you’re feeling. Rather, this is to learn how to identify your emotions.
- Once you’ve are comfortable identifying your emotions, the next step is to review the “why” behind negative emotions. Dig deep and be completely 100% honest with yourself. No judgment; just assessment.
- The third step, once you’ve identified the “what” and “why,” is to learn how you can turn your negative emotion around to a positive. Practicing this technique can help you see everything in a more positive light.
Becoming more emotionally aware is one of those tasks that isn’t always easy. But it is rewarding in the end, and worth the time and effort you put forth.
Some negative emotions you act out are messages that you need to change some aspect within you. When you want to positively move forward, these emotions can stop you in your tracks if you’re not aware. Here is a list of the top five emotions to completely eliminate from your life if you want to be happier and be truly successful.
- No emotion as harmful as fear. almost every negative emotion rises out of fear. When you learn that fear is a completely unnecessary emotion these days, you can realistically look at why you have fears
- Jealousy is an emotion that serves no positive purpose. Usually, jealousy shows up when comparing your self or a situation to another person and their circumstances. One way to rid yourself of jealousy is to practice gratitude. Instead of being jealous of someone else, practice thankfulness for what you have.
- Hate is the worst of the negative emotions and is considered an extreme level of other negative emotions, such as envy or sadness.
- People who hate usually have deeper issues that could be recognized and dealt with. If this sounds like you, reach out for help. There is no shame in getting help if you feel you can’t control feelings; you will be emotionally healthier as a result.
- Revenge is another negative emotion. When you wish revenge on someone, it hurts you. The solution is to work on improving yourself. Eliminate any negative emotion and open that space to receive and provide more positive emotions to help you achieve your greatest successes.
Guest Article from Mark Brandenberg, who specializes in coaching men.
Some men have trouble asking for help, and calling a coach is asking for help. Coaching men is useful because it is private. However, men don’t call coaches until they have a crisis. Men often call a coach when they are on the verge of a divorce. They are no good at picking up a wife’s signals that she’s tired of the marriage. They are often in shock about what is happening.
As a parenting expert coaching men, some clients will come with a crisis. A situation is imploding. How does a divorcing Dad converse with his son? A mother phones to say that her son wants to quit high school and join the Marines, and she does not like that idea.
Sometimes the crisis is low-key but still essential to the client. For example, a child needs to be potty-trained within a few weeks, or he will not be accepted into nursery school. Both clients want help! Both scenarios will impact your process of coaching men and the relationship with your client.
If the client is not in crisis, you will be able to establish your coaching sessions in a smoother way. If the client is in crisis, the focus of your first sessions will be helping the client through the rough spot and then establishing a vital goals in the coaching relationship.
Let the client talk it out.
Encourage your client to share deeper feelings. You have to listen. You listen actively and soulfully. Take notes. Hear your client’s concerns. Be aware of what the client says and what he or she is leaving out.
Listen to words, feel out the emotional content, and focus.
Stay in a listener’s role. You may be tempted to jump in with suggestions and practical information, but it is better to hold back and listen.
When coaching men, you may observe vulnerability and be tempted to take over the problem. At this point, remind yourself that you are coming from the coaching perspective, not a therapeutic one.
You are a coach, and as such, you believe that:
1. This client is a whole, healthy, and resourceful person.
2. This client has the inner resources to handle this problem.
Allow the person to talk through whatever is troubling him or her.
Ask questions so that you truly understand what is going on. The first session may be entirely about letting the client tell his story and vent emotions. You may do very little talking.
If a problem is fundamental and life-changing, you may have to refer your client for psychotherapy. When necessary, schedule more than one session per week in the first weeks of coaching. The thrust of your work will be to calm the person and determine how you, as a coach, can work with the person’s strengths to get her past the crisis mode. After a few sessions, the client will feel more in control.