Mindset Matters 2 – Control Mindset and Emotions

Mindset is about how you think and use your mental focus. The term emotions refer to your feelings, and each affects the other. -Emotion intertwines with moodtemperamentpersonalitydisposition, and motivation.

Emotions and Strength

Want strength, then rile up your emotions like Norse warriors of long  ago. The warriors were so called because they created fist of anger before entering the battlefield. They caused adrenaline to pump to prepare to win a war. In this agitated state, they felt  invulnerable and accomplished feats of incredible strength.

Under extreme stress or emotional overwhelm,  your body produces excess amounts of testosterone, adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase you heart rate, focus, awareness and muscle tone for the extra strength.

Use Your Emotional Strength for Calm, Collected Focus

Calm, collected focus is about creating and being in a “flow state.”

 We also call flow by several descriptors:

  • Being in the zone or fully immersed mental state.
  • Feeling of energized focus
  • Full involvement
  • Complete absorption of in what one does
  • Results that are focused, engaged, maybe losing track of time.

A flow state is a feeling of calm, focused bliss, like in extreme sports when athletes persofrm effortlessly.Or like in music where the melody or the rhythm moves a person to sing or to dance.

No fear. No doubt. No bursts of anger or unwanted emotion.

You do your best work in a flow state. This is when we are happiest.

Do you try to live your life as much as possible. The problem is that you may have anxiety or stay overly  busy with chores and things we need to do. These limitations leave you stressed, anxious or busy and they take you out of the moment. You face a challenge when your body and mind  cannot possibly be in-sync when you are worrying.

Entering flow means being in the moment which not only makes you happy and confident, it also makes you unstoppable. You take control over your emotions.

Taking Control Through Full Wave Breath

So how do you take back control over your emotions?

  1. Check into how you feel, especially if your energy is low,  or you you are distracted or even in a bad mood. 
  2. To change your mood, I suggest Full-Wave Breathing to change your physiology in the literal sense. 
  3. If you learn to breathe correctly (using belly breathing to fill the lower portion of the lungs, then the upper portion). If  you use slow, controlled breaths, then you will be able to lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and calm your entire body.
  4. This will change your parasympathetic tone, taking you out of ‘fight or flight’ and into ‘rest and digest’. Try it the next time you feel overly stressed, overly competitive or worked up after an intense workout – your heart rate will slow and your mind will grow calmer.
  5. For your mental framework, another tool to use is called CBT—‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’ and this is a popular form of psychotherapeutic intervention used to treat phobias and other anxiety disorders.Take the intention of CBT strategies to look at the content of your thoughts. The self-talk that you give yourself to work yourself into a panic, or to calm yourself down. If you are thinking things like “I’m worried I might fall off that ledge” then of course you are going to be scared. If you think things like “I’m grateful for my friends” then you will be less likely to feel unhappy with where you are in life. You can use CBT to challenge long-held beliefs and to break negative self-talk habits by challenging your thoughts and testing your hypotheses. This is called ‘cognitive restructuring’.
  6. In the short term, you can use CBT techniques in order to more honestly assess your state of mind and your emotions and to then change the way you feel about a situation.So if you were stressed that you had a deadline you couldn’t meet and it was ruining your evening, then you might use cognitive restructuring in order to assess the thoughts making you stressed and replace them with more productive ones.For example, you might consider:
    • What is the point of being stressed? Will it make matters better?
    • What’s the worst case scenario? Would it really be that bad to tell the boss you can’t finish work on time? Are they expecting too much of you anyway?
    • When was the last time you did this?
    • Are there other ways you could lessen the blow?
    • What would you rather pay attention to right now?

    Combine this with controlled breathing and bring your focus to the thing that is most useful to you right now.

    In the long term, you can use CBT in order to bridge the gap between your thoughts and your physiology. You see, your physiology and your emotions are designed to drive you toward desirable states: sex, food, shelter, love, success, social acceptance.

Behavioral Regulation-3-Choose Successful Play Activities

Behavioral Regulation-3-Choose Successful Play Activities

Play Activities Contribute to Bonding & Regulation 

  • Coach, clinician, and parents choose an activity the parent believes will be most successful. 

That is, the parent believes they have the ability, skills and presence to initiate the activity, invite and prepare the child and family for positive interaction, and equally include each family member. The parenting coach and parent join in accessing and reinforcing abilities. For instance: Help the parent gauge stress levels and practice self-calming breathing before the activity.

Parent and Coach Role Play Words

  • Gathering the family, (“As soon as you complete your homework and Dad walks the dog, we will begin game night! You can make the popcorn!”)
  • Eliciting the child’s cooperation, (“Where do you want to sit so you will feel safe and comfortable? Do you want to sit near Mommy?”)
  • Words or phrases that convey inclusion, affection, or safety. (“We are glad you can join with us and play rather than stay alone in your room.”)

The parent must also be able to arrange the environment to facilitate their child’s success according to their child’s particular needs. For instance: Perhaps cell phones need to be turned off so as not to draw any family member away from the play activity. Kindles, tablets, gaming systems or other technology need to be put away to limit distraction. Positive ground rules or guidelines are established prior to beginning. This is what you, as a coach, will discuss with the parents before they introduce new activities to the family. You might ask them; “Looking ahead – What can you do to orchestrate success and help prevent a catastrophe?”

  • Can the parent pull from their resources and strategies to adjust the environment to help insure greater success?
  • What can the parent do to create safety?
  • Can the coach and parent pace an enjoyable game and then escalate the skills for a child over activities?

For example, if the parent knows their child has difficulty with close physical proximity to other family members, or, that their anxiety levels rise with increased expectations (even when they are positive in nature) resulting in undesirable behavior.

Attend to the Environment

  • Do lights need lowering?
  • Will soft music or deep breathing help with the regulation of excitement the child feels?
  • Does the child need to participate while sitting on a balance ball, or handling a fidget toy?
  • Does the child or family need a slower paced activity to begin, or one that will appropriately help release the child’s pent up energy?
  • Encourage parents to think like a kid!
  • Ask whether the parent is able to share a game or activity they remember loving when they were their child’s age. Again, this will be a challenge for some parents.
  • The coach encourages a parent to examine the roadblocks they experience preventing them from moving into a playful relationship with their child, rather than a blaming, grudging, and resentful relationship.

I mentioned earlier that some parent’s just don’t feel like participating. Fun! Bah, humbug! Consider this a normal reaction. It is the culmination of so much internal pain, hurt feelings and disappointment. It is part and parcel of the confusion and rejection the parent feels from the child, and perhaps, disappointment in themselves.

  • What is holding you back?
  • Where do your fears linger?
  • What could be the result when you decide to do this?
  • What will happen if you don’t do anything?

Regulate the parent first. Coaches help parents apply and practice self-calming, stress management and grounding or centering strategies by asking: What can you do right now, to organize and regulate your inner body and mind so you can make a clear decision you feel good about, and help your family to enjoy this time together?

Consistency and accountability affords greater success for parents.

See also: Behavioral Regulation 1 and Behavioral Regulation 2

Enroll Now in Coaching Families With Special Needs in Behavioral Regulation

Business Planning With Values and Vision

Business Planning With Values and Vision

Do you have an online business plan or are you flying by the seat of your pants? A yearly planning document that reflects your values and goals is the most useful tool in your business arsenal.

Your mission statement and your business objectives provide a road map that keeps your successful business moving in the right direction. However, the map is not enough. You also need a compass to stay the course and realize you are on track. Your values and vision comprise the compass.

A statement of values is a set of principles that guide the way you operate your business. For example, whenever you have an important decision to make, like setting a price for your services or for a product you sell, you would review your decision according to your values. The values and decision are congruent, not at odds. This process means you won’t question your decisions or wonder if you are doing the right thing. You operate your business from a core of integrity.

A vision statement is a precise set of words that tells people what your successful online business does and how you do it. The vision defines what you hope to achieve.

The planning I suggest is a simple blueprint for how you intend to establish or grow your business. Use your business
plan to map out your goals, action plans, and financials while significantly increasing your chances for success.

Business Planning Benefits

1. A yearly business plan organizes you to take stock of your progress, examine what is working, and coordinate goals and actions for the upcoming year. Almost all of the very successful business owners will tell you that they create business goals and action plans on a regular basis like each month.

architecture concept. architecture design and model my own

architecture concept. architecture design and model my own

2. A business plan reflects your most profitable path.

3. A plan shows you where are making mistakes or losing profits.

Planning a business includes these sections:

1. Description of your business model
2. Who are your customers, the target market?
3. What do you offer? How is different from others who offer the same thing?
4. What are your specific, measurable goals that you want to achieve and when?
5. What marketing strategies will you put in place and what is their timeline?
6. What are the tasks you need to complete and when?
7. How much is all of this going to cost on a monthly basis, and what kind of revenue will you expect? How long will it take to break even and make a profit?

In summary:

A business plan is a living, breathing document that will grow and change along with your business. When first starting a new business, determine if you have a financially viable idea.

At the beginning of each year, it helps you to plan out your goals and strategies. Of course, if you need to raise money, people will want to see a detailed plan.

You need to revisit your business plan regularly. Why? Market conditions change. Laws or regulations change. Technology changes your results too, and this should be reflected in your plan.

Your business plan serves as your blueprint for success. Write it and live it for your best results.

What If you have a great business idea but still wondering about how to create a viable business plan?

Register for Successful Coaching Business Set-Up In Systemized Steps. This course will not only help you make a plan of activities, but it will take you step by step from planning, designing, marketing and making money out of your business.

Successful Coaching Business Set-Up In Systemized Steps

 

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