Life Purpose- Find It and Live it

If you feel like something in miising in life, you are not alone. I felt that way until 2000 when I died in the hospital after receiving an overdose of pain medication the doctor administered.. The brief death was a sacred experience.  Moreover, returning to life brought me strength and resolve to get on with “my work.”

Have you discovered your life purpose yet?

If you haven’t, don’t feel alone. 

I didn’t know what my work, my calling, or my choices were around “working with parents and families.” I had already been a teacher, a counselor, a therapist, and an author with parenting books.I expected my purpose to manifest easily as if someone walked through my door and presented me with options. You are right if you guessed that it didn’t happen that way. 

Don’t feel alone if you have not yet discovered your purpose. The reason is likely due to the fast pace of everyday life. When do you have time for yourself…to think about changing jobs, or even going it on your own and working from home? It can be easy to find yourself going to a job that you don’t like and feel meaningless at times.

The first step to discovering your purpose is taking some time for yourself. When you turn inward and take time to ponder, write, meditate, or review your options, you open feelings associated with passion. One technique I used was to state my intention aloud:  

I want to know without reservation how I can best earn a living by loving what I do!

  Living your life in a way that serves your purpose is extremely important if you wish to be happy. There are several ways you can attempt to discover the meaning of your life:

  1. Describe your ideal day. Project yourself several years into the future and imagine that your life is virtually perfect. How would your life look?  Are you working? What type of work are you doing? What do you do all day? Who is in your life?

Now that you know what the end looks like, what can you do today to take the first step in that direction?

2. Try austerity. Go camping in a remote place. Take time to enjoy nature and sit with yourself. When you’re alone and have clear intention, sometimes the answer become apparent.

3. Volunteer. Find an organization in your community that interests you. Doing something worthwhile can be an excellent way to discover your purpose. Even if you come up short, at least you’ll have done something significant.

4. Assume you can do the impossible. When anything is possible, what would you do? Take action to bring your dreams to life.

5. Write. Perhaps the most efficient way to discover your life’s purpose is to spend an hour writing. At the top of your paper write, “My life’s purpose.” Now spend the next 60 minutes writing whatever pops into your mind.

I did this exercise and wrote from a stream of consciousness as opposed to focused topic. I learned that my purpose hasn’t changed from my twenties. I still like to teach as well as learn. I love to care about others and offer counsel. This stirs up positive feelings. Moreover, I can see myself doing it. 

6, Investigate a new hobby. We all have at least one activity we’ve been putting off until a more convenient time. Doing something new exposes you to new ideas and thoughts. Now is the time to jump in and get started. You might be surprised what you discover.

7. Do something that terrifies you. Skydiving? Public speaking? You might find your life’s purpose during the process of conquering this fear.

8. Spend a day inspired. From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, attempt to spend every moment inspired. The right books, music, and movies can help you maintain an inspired mental state.You’ll believe you can do anything. What would you do?

9. Ask yourself what you would do if you had $10 million. How would you spend your time? Can you figure out a way to make a living doing one of the activities you would be willing to do for free if you had the time?

Keep revisiting these tips until you’ve found something that really excites you. When you see your purpose, there will be no doubt. Avoid spending all of your life thinking and planning. Get busy living.

Finding your life’s purpose adds meaning to your living. 

4 Simple Guidelines for True Happiness

4 Simple Guidelines for True Happiness

Life has probably thrown you a curve ball or two along the way. You’ve likely had times when you felt unsettled by past events or things to come. That amount of discomfort can lead to inner turmoil,  and returning to true happiness means having a plan to refocus your attention and energy

However, it’s possible to separate how you feel about a negative event from your inner calmness and peace. The minute you start letting emotions take constant hold of your soul, life suddenly becomes chaotic.

The key is to learn what it means to find true happiness.certified parent-family coach

You can experience the joy of true happiness by following these simple guidelines:

  1. Accept your limitations when you  feel the urge to give everything you have to pacify a situation. Some situations may be beyond your ability to resolve.
  • Learn to accept what you can and cannot change. It’s okay not to know all the answers!
  • Instead of allowing guilt to eat away at you, feel at peace with the fact that you did all you could.
  • While there’s always room to push yourself a little harder, avoid the point of burn out.

2.  Nobody promised that life would be a bed of roses. As long as you act according to what your conscience dictates, you can be proud of your actions!

  • The heaviness that you might  carry around with you is unnecessary. Check in and see what needs to be lifted. 
  • If you’ve accepted the part you played in the outcome of a situation, acknowledge it and move on!
  • The more honest you are with others, the easier it is to be frank with yourself.

3. Show kindness. Every interaction with another person includes heart-to-heart connection. Recognizing the connection  can help you feel more appreciated and appreciative. 

  • Use every opportunity to help someone in need. It doesn’t matter what it is that they need. By giving your time or resources, you automatically feel you’ve completed part of life’s mission. That’s true happiness.

4. Appreciate your blessings. At times like these, take a moment to look at what you’ve attained and received. The extent of those blessings might surprise you!

In a nutshell, true happiness comes from being sincerely happy with who you are and what you have. Remember that there are always people who yearn for what you have. That should be enough to tell you that you have a lot! Contentment is the key to true happiness.

 

 

Mindset Matters 2 – Control Mindset and Emotions

Mindset is about how you think and use your mental focus. The term emotions refer to your feelings, and each affects the other. -Emotion intertwines with moodtemperamentpersonalitydisposition, and motivation.

Emotions and Strength

Want strength, then rile up your emotions like Norse warriors of long  ago. The warriors were so called because they created fist of anger before entering the battlefield. They caused adrenaline to pump to prepare to win a war. In this agitated state, they felt  invulnerable and accomplished feats of incredible strength.

Under extreme stress or emotional overwhelm,  your body produces excess amounts of testosterone, adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase you heart rate, focus, awareness and muscle tone for the extra strength.

Use Your Emotional Strength for Calm, Collected Focus

Calm, collected focus is about creating and being in a “flow state.”

 We also call flow by several descriptors:

  • Being in the zone or fully immersed mental state.
  • Feeling of energized focus
  • Full involvement
  • Complete absorption of in what one does
  • Results that are focused, engaged, maybe losing track of time.

A flow state is a feeling of calm, focused bliss, like in extreme sports when athletes persofrm effortlessly.Or like in music where the melody or the rhythm moves a person to sing or to dance.

No fear. No doubt. No bursts of anger or unwanted emotion.

You do your best work in a flow state. This is when we are happiest.

Do you try to live your life as much as possible. The problem is that you may have anxiety or stay overly  busy with chores and things we need to do. These limitations leave you stressed, anxious or busy and they take you out of the moment. You face a challenge when your body and mind  cannot possibly be in-sync when you are worrying.

Entering flow means being in the moment which not only makes you happy and confident, it also makes you unstoppable. You take control over your emotions.

Taking Control Through Full Wave Breath

So how do you take back control over your emotions?

  1. Check into how you feel, especially if your energy is low,  or you you are distracted or even in a bad mood. 
  2. To change your mood, I suggest Full-Wave Breathing to change your physiology in the literal sense. 
  3. If you learn to breathe correctly (using belly breathing to fill the lower portion of the lungs, then the upper portion). If  you use slow, controlled breaths, then you will be able to lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and calm your entire body.
  4. This will change your parasympathetic tone, taking you out of ‘fight or flight’ and into ‘rest and digest’. Try it the next time you feel overly stressed, overly competitive or worked up after an intense workout – your heart rate will slow and your mind will grow calmer.
  5. For your mental framework, another tool to use is called CBT—‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’ and this is a popular form of psychotherapeutic intervention used to treat phobias and other anxiety disorders.Take the intention of CBT strategies to look at the content of your thoughts. The self-talk that you give yourself to work yourself into a panic, or to calm yourself down. If you are thinking things like “I’m worried I might fall off that ledge” then of course you are going to be scared. If you think things like “I’m grateful for my friends” then you will be less likely to feel unhappy with where you are in life. You can use CBT to challenge long-held beliefs and to break negative self-talk habits by challenging your thoughts and testing your hypotheses. This is called ‘cognitive restructuring’.
  6. In the short term, you can use CBT techniques in order to more honestly assess your state of mind and your emotions and to then change the way you feel about a situation.So if you were stressed that you had a deadline you couldn’t meet and it was ruining your evening, then you might use cognitive restructuring in order to assess the thoughts making you stressed and replace them with more productive ones.For example, you might consider:
    • What is the point of being stressed? Will it make matters better?
    • What’s the worst case scenario? Would it really be that bad to tell the boss you can’t finish work on time? Are they expecting too much of you anyway?
    • When was the last time you did this?
    • Are there other ways you could lessen the blow?
    • What would you rather pay attention to right now?

    Combine this with controlled breathing and bring your focus to the thing that is most useful to you right now.

    In the long term, you can use CBT in order to bridge the gap between your thoughts and your physiology. You see, your physiology and your emotions are designed to drive you toward desirable states: sex, food, shelter, love, success, social acceptance.

4 Simple Guidelines for True Happiness

1. Parent Coaching

Does Parent Coaching interest you as a profession or an extra source of income? This series about coaching parents provides all you need to know about what is involved in the real profession of coaching. You have a story to tell which defines your interest and happiness in helping people.

People pay coaches to help them reach their goals by encouraging, celebrating, and listening to them on a regularly scheduled basis.  Sessions might be for individuals or for groups.. A coach is an empowerment expert who challenges, stimulates, questions, and holds the client in positive regard. A coach takes the side of the clients and helps them set long and short-term goals, and holds them accountable to take necessary steps to achieve the goals from week to week. The coaching process enables people to lead more effective lives,  and to achieve what they want more quickly. Here is what two top coaches say about their field:

   “You have to have a plan and it has to be a plan that works.  You should not settle for the mediocre in life.  Coaching helps you set goals.  I collaborate with my clients.  I am on their side.  As a coach, I help and strategize with my clients so they can achieve their goals. [bctt tweet=”Coaching is about personal evolution, vision, what’s next, what’s now, and moving forward. It’s about having standards, not settling for the mediocre in life, but looking and feeling your best.” …Annemarie Brown” username=”parent_coach”]

“Coaching is about listening, empathizing, asking questions and sharing love. It is very personal, very individual and case-by-case. People can turn their problems around.  They can be whatever they want.  They can have whatever they want. Coaching is about that process.  You help them and it is an incredible job.”    Peggy Alvarado

Coaching Started In Business

Coaching as a profession started in corporate businesses, but also takes its models from counseling and psychotherapy. Business managers have always been “coaches” in that they helped people clarify their goals and choose roles in the corporation that best suited their talents and strengths.  Many life coaches, if they do not come from a background in psychotherapy or counseling, originally worked in business.

   I worked in management for thirteen years in a Fortune 500 company. Human resource management is very similar to coaching.  I didn’t know I was coaching back then, but I was!  … Peggy Alvarado

Businesses paid the first coaches to guide new hires as they climbed the corporate ladder.  A coach could be internal, someone who works for the same business as the client; or external like someone who is hired by the business as an outside consultant.  These first coaches were called business mentors. A coach or mentor is an older person with a lot of experience in the same field of the beginner.  The coach guides the new hire to set career goals, interact with other people, and choose the right projects to advance themselves. In the 1980s, businesses started routinely to hire and pay for more outside coaches.

Today, a business coach at the top of his field can earn as much as $700 tp $1000 per hour, or well into six figures per year.  Some large corporations keep coaches on retainer, paying them so much a month to mentor a constant stream of new hires.  A new trend is to hire a coach for a specific job, such as “Improve morale in the accounting department within a three- month-time period.”

Because business coaches work with each person on a one-to-one basis and take into consideration each individual’s personality and style, they are very successful in helping people achieve goals and move up in their careers quickly. A coach expert listens within, has only the best interest of that particular client in mind. The relationship is confidential and trustworthy.

The coaching model was so successful on a business level that a demand arose for personal “life coaches” as well.  A life coach or personal coach is a person who helps a client set goals for his or her future, determine steps to reach each goal, and cheer the person as he or she moved toward his or her definition of success. The goals do not have to be about money or career, but can be goals like “To become closer to my husband,” “To make time for painting,” or simply “To have more fun.”

Unlike business coaches, a life coach for parents could work over the telephone instead of face-to-face in an office setting.

The average personal coach charges above $100 per hour, but the range of fees is from a low of $25 to a high of $300 or more. A personal coach at the top of the field can make in the range of six to seven figures per year range, but the vast majority of coaches earn about $40,000 to $80,000 annually, depending on their part-time or full-time focus in the coaching field.

Coaching Moved away From The Medical Model

In 1992, Thomas Leonard started the first training institute for coaches.  His “Coach University” trained people through teleconferences.  In the same year, Laura Whitworth founded The Coaches Training Institute in San Francisco, which provided training through weekend universities.  Whitworth’s association, the Personal and Professional Coaches Association, merged with Leonard’s International Coach Federation (ICF) in 1997. The ICF organization developed standards of ethics and practices for the profession.

Yet from the beginning of the coaching profession, there was a lot of overlap between psychotherapy and coaching.  For one thing, many people entering the new field of coaching had backgrounds as therapists or business. Yet in time, coaching has moved away from the medical model.

Isn’t it great that you don’t have to be a psychologist or a medical professional to be a parent coach? Let’s take a look at our parent coaching certifications and get going on the way to success:

Parent-Family Coaching Programs

Dr. Caron Goode

Dr. Caron Goode

Founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents

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CHECK OUT THIS NEW ONLINE COACHING PROGRAM

FOR PARENTING AND FAMILIES

Biz Tips–Types of Coaching Online

Biz Tips–Types of Coaching Online

” Parent Coach, Life Coach, Family Coach…..people will call you. Because at some point in a person’s life, they find they are in need of guidance on a personal, business, family, or a spiritual level. You can help!”

Parents and professionals face difficult decisions every day around problem solving, managing time, dealing with emotions, or dealing with children’s discipline. This is where you, as a coach, come in. Coaches are trained to help people through specific strategies like asking questions. 

certified parent-family coach

Coaching breakthroughs in Negative Emotions

Coaching through self-discovery allows a client to find their personal truth and internal answers. The process doesn’t rip off another’s learning experience. You would offer your services to help others move forward.”

 

 

 

[tweetshare tweet=”Coaching through self-discovery allows a client to find their personal truth and internal answers. The process doesn’t rip off another’s learning experience. You would offer your services to help others move forward.” username=”*o^KFS8%4g)$b0mBBZ5JennOLFVF7X$J:1:0″]

But, you don’t want to just give away your services. You want to learn how to make money offering coaching online because it is a huge industry that encourages every type of coaching to be successful online.

Types of Coaching

The type of coaching you can offer depends on your training, specialty, interests and niche. ACPI specifically offers you training as a parent coach, family coach, temperament coach, life coach for parents, or parent-family coaching dual certification. For example you could train to be a:

  • Life coach – This type of coach focuses on their clients’ life decisions and self-fulfillment, which includes all aspects of their life: personal, professional, health and relationships.
  • Personal coach – This can be a life/career coach, or personal coaching within an organization by a mentor or manager.
  • Parenting coach – This highly trained and knowledgeable professional’s main role is to provide support and guidance to parents and caregivers in the challenges of raising healthy, happy and successful children.
  • Family Coach – A coach for families could coach online groups, offer courses, or coach specific family members about temperaments, communication, managing arguments, restitution for misbehavior, and more. 
  • Executive coach – This type of coach helps top-level management improve their decision making and leadership abilities. An executive coach has considerable experience in their field.
  • Business coach – Business coaches guide people in their professional lives. This type of coach helps business owners by supporting them, holding them accountable and encouraging their goals and happiness..
  • Confidence coach – This type helps clients build their self-esteem and confidence, helping them learn what is holding them back.
    There are many types of coaching you can pursue. The niche you choose depends on your training, your goals and your passion.

 

Emotional Intelligence Expert Training