Why Your Coaching Mindset and Temperament Matter for Your Success

Can you see the one attribute critical for personal and professional success? What makes coaches so credible with clients and successful in business? Charisma, experience, and expertise are at the top of the list. 

It's true. In every action your take in business or life, your mindset is the determining factor which influences your success. Your coaching mindset and plans require the same foundation, a fresh viewpoint about people, money, and solutions.

Here are examples of how a stressed or unconscious mindset could influence your decisions.

1. You think that helping everybody would be great for business. The solution would be to define your audience by temperament, income level, and initial problems you could solve. By defining a narrow path for your ideal client, you earn more and have more.

2. You set a sliding scale in good-hearted effort to turn away no one that you could help. While deserving and lovely, these clients are less than your ideal when it comes to their ability to pay. Can you meet your budget with a lower-end scale? Yes, possibly with a group program or class. Then, would this client enter into private coaching? Did they value your work and you?

Before you can realize your dreams of four-or-five-figure clients, you have internal work to upgrade. Perhaps these changes in the coaching mindset help you be open minded, focused, compassionate, playful or personal?

If you are a caring, heart-oriented supporter, your coaching strengths are:

  • Being able to re-frame other's doubts,
    Listening to one's story,
    Modeling the best conversation for the positive parenting with your client's kids.

If you are a charismatic influencer, you inspire those who admire you because

  • Your nature is gregarious
    You enjoy people, and they appreciate your friendliness
    You are an excellent example of creativity in action and brainstorming.

If you are an achiever-type coach, your coaching could challenge others

  • To tackle the project they've ignored
    To commit to the exercise routine they need
    To manage finances better
    To plan the product launch sooner than later

If you are the kind of coach who strategizes, your primary strength is solving people's problems This makes you an excellent consultant. In coaching, you can ask the right questions to help a client strategize:

  • What is the result you want?
    What is the first step you would take to get there?
    Can you outline the process?
    What resources will you need?

In coaching, you are often the cheerleader for your clients, and gratitude will be a quality that you want your clients to have.

In coaching, you expend energy being with your client. If you find yourself complaining or fatigued, what will you do to better care for you?

Growing Your Coaching Mindset Confidence

Here's something else top-end coaches have in common: confidence. They believe in what they do. They believe in their ability to help others achieve the same thing. They walk on stage or join a webinar filled with the knowledge that what they are about to say will change the lives of those who are listening. That is confidence!

When you feel confident, you radiate confidence.
Just like how the person you're talking to on the phone can hear a smile in your voice, your potential clients can sense your mindset. If your mindset is not up to par with those you admire and mimic, you'll struggle to make the sale. Work on your attitude and confidence levels, and watch your income soar.

Find Your Passion Skills Set

Practicality Versus Passion

Your passion skills set is best recalled from enjoyable childhood moments. Do you remember moments in your childhood that felt freeing and fun? One that I remember was bike riding on a Saturday afternoon. The freedom to explore and wind around different neighborhoods cleared my mind and rejuvenated my body. The passion skills set of exploring neighborhoods and enjoying the outdoors is now my walking daily to clear my head and get a fresh perspective on business or a project.

Such childhood memories that we’re passionate about aren’t really the most practical things to do when we grow up and become "responsible." So we often put off when more pressing “responsible” concerns arise like taking the kids to extracurricular activities.

Truths About Passion Skills and Temperaments

If your passion feels obscure or far away, you may not think that the practical skills are worth exploring. However they are, and if you identify with even one of these three reasons, then do explore how to make your passion skills set practical.

  1. Fifty percent of our motivation to pursue a passion stems from our core temperament(s). From temperaments comes what we value, and our innate drive keeps pushing us toward using our strengths and putting talents to use. If you don't use your innate talents, you don't lose them.  Quite the contrary happens. They rise up and get in your face!
  2. Thus you cannot squash your passion. It keeps nudging you, reminding you, trying to motivate you to a course of action.
  3. You will always feel out of sync when not aligned with values and using passion skills set.  The best examples I can provide are the men and women who have pursued the careers of their parents or went for what they "thought" was the right thing, only to be disappointed later.

The solution to staying motivated is to bring your passion skills set into practical living and practical projects.  It is possible to find the practical skills behind your passion. My passion has always been writing, and, eventually in my adult years, I followed these steps to embrace my passion. If I didn't, it hounded me.


“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
—Nelson Mandela

Writing Short Stories

 Let’ start with the more common one. There are many secret writers, who love to create poetry or prose, but we all know that most authors don’t end up on the best seller list. In fact, most writers never make a dime from their writings. They write and narrate because they feel the calling to do so. They enjoy writing because it motivates them and makes them happy. They are using their core strengths, which is a natural thing to do. The are building a skill set and making it better each time

The Creative Magic Sparks

When someone is following a normal talent or motivation or nudge, a spark of magic happens, and the door of creativity opens. Ideas pour into the writer's mind. A strange character for the novel introduces herself. The ending of the story took a new turn and recreated a new ending.

Like the old writer's joke says: How can I start writing?   Answer: Sit down and start start writing. In the literal sense, when you practice your passion, even for fun and just for yourself, you are honing the creative skills.

 


“It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.” —Mae Jemison


 

Here are more steps to discover these skills.

  1. Take an objective look at what you do as a writer.

When you sit down to write something, take a moment and jot down all of the things that you’re doing or are about to do. For example:

Create a story

Organize the idea

Create characters

Research/describe the setting of the story

Commit to a project from start to finish

  1. Research the job descriptions of writer. Do a web search for “writer job description.” This will give you some great insight into the skills built through writing.

Make a list of the skills you find in a few of the job.

Go through the list and pull out skills that you feel apply best to you and add them to the first

  1. Research writers’ websites and look at the services they provide to give you some insight into skills you hadn’t considered. Add them to your list.

Now you ave created a real-life practical skills list for a passion that motivates your path. If you decide to take the next steps, they are mix, mingle, and learn.

Writers are often solitary souls who need a writer's group for support. Join one or start one.

 Go to writing events and talk to other writers who love what they do as much as you do.  There are conferences, festivals and networking events for a wide variety of topics.

Find local writing events by doing a web search. Not only will you learn about the skills that you have developed, you might meet some cool new writing friends to support you in following your passion..

You can use these same steps to find passion skills sets in any area, and start using them to follow the natural course of your motivating strengths.

Are you a type of person who is looking to get out of this rat race and work for yourself from home by being your own boss?

 Have a look at our courses and get one step closer to your dream life.

 

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Summary of A Good Fit of Parent’s and Child’s Temperaments

 When coaches or consultants are working with parents or a family, take time with parents to establish a good fit between the parent's temperament and the child's temperament. 

What Is Creating a Good Fit?

The term "goodness of fit, or used here as the good fit, refers to parents meeting the needs of a child by parenting according to the temperament of each child. The goodness of fit between a child's temperament and your parenting temperament style is essential for healthy social and emotional development for both you and your child. Also, you want to meet your personal needs as a parent in daily living from sleeping well at night to scheduling date nights.

How To Create A Good Fit?

The Nine Traits Inventory is helpful in determining reaction patterns in children and typically is used from infancy through the first to fifth grade. For example, two-year-old Lucy was very shy. Each month when Mom's book group came for an evening, Lucy's mom thought she was helping by pushing Lucy forward or holding Lucy while mom's friends hugged her hello. Lucy, however, appeared frightened and pulled back.

Being with and observing your child, you start to note how he or she responds to people, environments, stress, food, etc. You'll be observant of how you react. Are you reactive? Or are you proactive? 

Your goal is to become an active parent by recognizing feelings and watching behaviors. The more you observe your child's traits, the more prepared you're a master at managing and supporting temperaments. You are watching your child adapt, and then you adjust to varied environments and situations as you go along. Lucy's mom took the hint when a book club member mentioned that because Lucy seemed overly shy, why not let her hang out at the book club meeting for several weeks without pushing her into anyone or anything. Instead, the friend suggested that Lucy explores and find her level of comfort in her way. These moms would watch how she did it and learned what comforted Lucy. That advice was excellent for Lucy's mom to allow temperament expressions to evolve into a good fit for the situation. 

What Does Adapting the Environment Mean?

Here are examples of how different parents handled changing the environment to meet the needs of a child.

Marilynn got upset when something new was happening the next day or an activity would be different. Her mom started talking about the exciting new event one week before it would happen. She'd mention in normal conversation each night, and the night before the event was the most critical. Marilynn asked, "Is it tomorrow?" Mom responded wth yes, which made Marilynn cry more. Marilynn would speak of being scared and not liking new things she didn't know about. Mom adapted the environment by talking about the event with her daughter. She left an additional hour for Marilynn to get ready for bed, cry, read a book, and talk some more before turning off the light. On the following mornings, Marilynn did all right and held herself together. Somehow, her living through the fear before the event seemed to make her happier to be there.

Do you see how common sense the adaptations can be?

What questions do you have about a good fit between parents and children?

 

Imagine Your Future and Build Your Brand To Get There

I went against the advice of my mentors. As a  family coach or parenting consultant, you build your brand by deciding who you want to be as a business person. Can you envision the person you will be in the future and make that your goal, while following your own heart?

In the process of developing a personal brand, most entrepreneurs set goals around time, or earnings, or marketing methods. Their profile or persona is the first step.

Step One

Decide who you want to be. When I founded the Academy for Coaching Parents International, both of my mentors told me up front to hire an assistant to handle email, answer queries, and keep up with the enrolled students. They explained the purpose for this was to give me a lot of free time. Wow! The advice was not what I expected.

 In deciding who I wanted to be, I chose this description: A professional mentor with heart, who supports ACPI students through compassionate guidance and coaching to succeed in their business goals in becoming a certified parenting coach. Not only am I personally involved in my business, but I also answer phone calls, emails, and make personal queries to each student and support them through weekly phone calls.

When you build your brand, the best choice is to be yourself. There is only one, unique you, and the vision of who you are in business refers to who you want to be in the future.

  • Where do you want to live?
  • How do you see yourself?
  • What do you see yourself doing?
  • What are your goals?

Step Two

Dream about different futures to choose from the possibilities.  Try on potentialities to see which ones fit best. It's a necessary process. Decide through the dreaming to build your brand that's right for you and take affirmative steps to turn that dream into reality. The process involves a certain amount of decisionmaking, some mental toughness and the ability to look at your goals realistically.

  • You see, there is a difference between a dream and a goal.
  • The dream is tentative. The goal is firm.
  • The dream is a possibility. The goal should be a probability.
  • The dream is subject to change. The goal is not.

These are important differences. They are also differences that many people don't recognize or, even worse, choose to ignore. Take a cold, hard look at the dream that you've selected to be your goal. Look at the ins and outs. Don't avoid looking at the bad. If you don't weigh the good points against the bad, you're going to be in for either a rude awakening when you reach your goal or disappointment when you don't.

Step Three

When you set firm goals as the final step, you have accomplished the first three steps to build your brand.

  1. Envision possibilities or your role or who you will be as a business owner.
  2. Choose your persona and write it out for reference when you lose focus.
  3. Accept that you are the brand and build your brand products and services on that foundation.

The confidence of knowing where you're going translates into personal stability. Your personal security, in turn, translates into higher acceptance of your brand over time. When your customers trust you, they also believe in your brand. After all, you are your brand.

Your Branding is Personal 2

How can you, a coach or consultant, form a connection with your target audience? One that makes them feel fierce loyalty to you where they spread good word of mouth and help you achieve your goals.

 

What Your Branding Is and Isn’t

Other seasoned marketers will teach you technical strategies like video marketing, blogging, podcasting and more. They’re great at teaching the technical steps and talking about how your content can help you with search engine optimization (SEO).

However, these technical steps are not what attraction brand marketing is about. Anyone can release a video. Anyone can slap content on a blog or website. And anyone can record an audio file.

You are a special person to be able to embrace the concept of branding for yourself, a true leader who isn’t afraid to command the clout you need online to draw the very best clients. You can leverage the attraction brand marketing system to draw people to you, not drive them to you.

What does attraction branding mean? Branding to attract clients is not hype and not hard selling. Attraction means you present yourself online--as a brand--in a way that has people clamoring for more from you.

You make them addicted to you over time. They love your personality. They love your insight, and they love how real you are with them. Branding with an attraction element helps make you visible to those wouldn’t otherwise find your site online.

Word of mouth is a powerful thing. When there’s a buzz created about you specifically – people flock to you like moths attracted to a light. They feel warmth and comfort in your message,  and people respond to that and want to be around it.

Live Your Tag Line

A tagline is a kind of brand motto. When ACPI was formed, two pilot groups produced two different tags lines for ACPI to test.

  • Take on the role of a lifetime.
  • Make a difference

ACPI still uses both in different marketing venues, and since we chose those taglines, I  have noticed other online businesses copy them. That means ACPI did its homework successfully.

What is your branding about? What do you want to be known for?  Do you want to be the marketer who:

  • …has a sympathetic nature?
  • …is very blunt and honest with people?
  • …over-delivers in value?
  • …carefully scrutinizes everything before you recommend it?

Whatever you want people to think about you is what your brand’s tagline should be created around. Many marketers use a simple, “To your success” closing tagline at the end of every email and blog post.

This is generic marketing, and it does work.  Yet, how much better would it be if you could come up with something that people remembered and associated with you?

What businesses are you drawn to?  Think of those who you yourself are attracted to in the world of online business. What drew you to them.  What elements are they using to capture people’s interest and turn them into loyal fans!

 

 

 

Why You Should Care About Personal Branding 1

Branding affects you whether or not you know of its' persuasive force to influence your purchasing choices and habits. As a consultant or certified coach for parents or families, how aware are you of creating and using a brand?

Branding is a powerful marketing tool designed to work in concert with conscious and subconscious factors to affect decision making. Branding is impressive in the ability to impact opinion, and the ability has grown with the development of technology.

The best way to understand the power of branding is to review a few examples. You see how an emblem, logo, or picture makes your brain trust or not trust the brand, based on your personal experiences.

This connection between you and the brand image happens when you look at the brand. These brands do what they are supposed to do: You see, and you make a connection.

 

 Branding Basics: What It Is and Who You Are

Many people assume that branding is a more difficult process than it is because we are inundated daily. Branding is so pervasive in our modern society that as consumers, we learn to accept it subconsciously. When we step back and look at the process,  we see what a collective force branding has become.

Branding works on the idea that humans are designed to see patterns and to associate those patterns with specific expected results.

Branding takes advantage of this evolutionary predisposition to allow us to associate a business, products, and services, with particular concepts--–a musical note, a shade of color, a shape or a phrase.

The idea is that the business and the concept become welded together in the minds of the general public through repetition. Our brains unconsciously associate the concept with the business.

Branding requires that the business behind the brand know exactly who it is, what it does and who it wants to attract as a customer. It is this steadfast and focused clarity on identity that makes the world’s best brands instantaneously identifiable. The companies with the most potent brands know who they are and know who their customers are. This clarity is what drives the brand and also what makes the brand successful.

 

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Listening Is An Art

 Listening is one skill that can make or break your professional role.
People feel disrespected if they are not heard. They have a concern that their voice doesn't matter.
Are you hearing what others are saying, or do you tune out and turn off?
Helping professionals don't always receive the training needed to listen on all three levels.

Put yourselves in the shoes of another person

and practice effective listening.

Improve Your Listening Skills Now for Deeper, Trusting Relationships

in Every Walk of Life.

For More Resources On The Use and Power of Listening

Coaches’ Income Streams

Coaches's income streams takes planning premium content in varied formats and specific marketing sources to insure that you meet your income goals.

Setting Realistic Goals for Multiple Income Streams

Coaches are interpersonal helpers and need emotional and financial security. Most coaches I've met are not financially savvy people, but willing to learn and gain the financial planning skills.

So I ask, "How much do you want to earn?"

"Well," the coach responds,"I guess it depends on what clients are willing to pay?"

"Wrong. It depends on what you want to earn? Let's start planning what you want to earn."

To make an annual income of $40, 000 you would spend 18 hours a week working one-to-one with clients.

Add five hours a week to consistently market your coaching practice, and you have 23 hours total of your work week.

Most likely you would have no more hours available if you have other people in your life who need you. You also have to consider your fatigue factor, burnout rate, or your ability to be inspiring all the time.

At ACPI, we encourage you to be more creative and find more fun ways to engage your clients. All of the ways you engage your clients in exchange for their investments are multiple income streams.  Stop trading your valuable time for money and see below this sample of multiple income streams.

plan income 

Go For The Larger Income Model From the Beginning

Why we at ACPI suggest that you began with larger income goals is to inspire your ideas and to motivate you to create a true business vision. Then through planning your Relationship Coaching business financial goals, you can initiate a six-month or twelve month plan to offer ready made courses, group coaching, training in emotional competence skills, as well as information products. ACPI provides these courses for you.

Many coaches start by pricing their services lower to attract more clients. Then when they are busy and their time is scheduled, they have no choice but to increase those hourly fees and risk losing those clients who are paying already. Why not focus on clients who have the ability to pay for your services up front and recognize the value you provide.

Few coaches, who come from helping professions to ACPI, have set income goals and actually brainstormed on how to achieve that.

The multiple  income streams below have a targeted number of clients drawn to what you offer in a variety of courses, teleseminars, private coaching, or live trainings. You can see that even with minimal training, your ability to earn income can include any activities you like to provide.

Otherwise without offering what you are passionate about, you are more likely to burn out and be overwhelmed. So see what is possible below. Use this sample income stream chart to plan your own Relationship Coaching journey.

Planning Income Example

Income Stream

Frequency

Monthly Income

6 Month income projection

One hour coaching for 8-weeks One hour @ $85.00/4 weeks x 8 clients $2720 $16,320
Course 1: Core Temperament Communication 4-week course and group coaching for 20 people @ $150 $3000 Offer 2x in 6 months $6000
Course 2: Emotional Skills in Relationships 4-week course and coaching support for couples.10 couples @ $500 each $5000 Offer once every 6 months. $5000
One-day Live Training in Relationships For 10 couples @ $897 per couple.  $8970 Offer once every 6 months $8970
Teleseminars  2 teleseminars per month @ $20.00--40 people per month $4800 $4800
Total     $41,090.00

 

 

4 Simple Guidelines for True Happiness

Life has probably thrown you a curve ball or two along the way. You've likely had times when you felt unsettled by past events or things to come. That amount of discomfort can lead to inner turmoil,  and returning to true happiness means having a plan to refocus your attention and energy

However, it’s possible to separate how you feel about a negative event from your inner calmness and peace. The minute you start letting emotions take constant hold of your soul, life suddenly becomes chaotic.

The key is to learn what it means to find true happiness.certified parent-family coach

You can experience the joy of true happiness by following these simple guidelines:

  1. Accept your limitations when you  feel the urge to give everything you have to pacify a situation. Some situations may be beyond your ability to resolve.
  • Learn to accept what you can and cannot change. It's okay not to know all the answers!
  • Instead of allowing guilt to eat away at you, feel at peace with the fact that you did all you could.
  • While there's always room to push yourself a little harder, avoid the point of burn out.

2.  Nobody promised that life would be a bed of roses. As long as you act according to what your conscience dictates, you can be proud of your actions!

  • The heaviness that you might  carry around with you is unnecessary. Check in and see what needs to be lifted. 
  • If you've accepted the part you played in the outcome of a situation, acknowledge it and move on!
  • The more honest you are with others, the easier it is to be frank with yourself.

3. Show kindness. Every interaction with another person includes heart-to-heart connection. Recognizing the connection  can help you feel more appreciated and appreciative. 

  • Use every opportunity to help someone in need. It doesn’t matter what it is that they need. By giving your time or resources, you automatically feel you've completed part of life's mission. That's true happiness.

4. Appreciate your blessings. At times like these, take a moment to look at what you've attained and received. The extent of those blessings might surprise you!

In a nutshell, true happiness comes from being sincerely happy with who you are and what you have. Remember that there are always people who yearn for what you have. That should be enough to tell you that you have a lot! Contentment is the key to true happiness.

 

 

Have The Empathy Gene?

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other." ~ Meryl Streep

Get Paid For Your Talents

The ability to resonate with another person on a deep level is the talent of a parenting coach, and all coaches for that matter. Such resonance is achieved through empathy, the ability to feel with her client, not to feel for them or about them. Resonating with clients is a striking intuitive knowing which enables you, as a parenting coach, to predict their needs and provide an unprecedented quality of caring.

The ability to resonate with others is the character strength of a person whose core temperament is Interpersonal, adaptive, or supporting. You are a natural in being supportive and caring in your responses to others. The mottos of the Academy for Coaching Parents International are focused around this concept of empathy:

"To empower and sustain loving relationships" and
“To make a difference.”

The first thing a coach does is establish a loving relationship with the client, who may be a parent, grandparent, caregiver or anyone who has hired a coach to help them better parent or serve as a more effective guardian or caregiver to children.

Parent coaches assist, help, inform, inspire, and educate. They provide clarity, reflection, and reality checks for parental illusion, and support a parent's intuition. They are responsive and responsible as they provide frameworks and structures for conversations around sensitive issues.

A parent coach may serve as a coach for a parent’s personal confidence, or is involved with family relationships and parent/child issues. A parent coach is a mentor, not a doctor, minister or therapist. A coach is a friendly person a parent can call with everyday problems. A coach provides encouragement and expertise, coaching and challenges, all with the foundation of empathy. Through empathy the connection is made.

Are We Born With Empathy?

  • Empathy is more than feeling pain; it is also connecting to one’s struggle, emotional intention, as well as feelings of joy and celebration.
  • Babies demonstrate empathy in a global sense. If other babies cry, then babies respond with crying.
  • By the time a child is 2 ½ years old, he or she has developed a self-identity and understands the feelings of distress belong to his playmate or parent or sibling.
  • You will see preschool children empathize by reaching out to alleviate another’s distress through words or touch.
  • By age 8, a child understands the human plight of birth, death and vulnerability.

Children depend upon the demonstrations of responsiveness, warmth and empathy from the people in their world to continue cultivating connection and empathy within themselves… or their ability to remain empathic is up for grabs.

A parent coach is the model for empathy, helping a parent to learn the use of empathy through modeling. In turn, a parent who feels successful will model responsiveness with their children. AND…we will have succeeded in making a difference – the truer mission of a parenting coach.

Let your genome make you successful:

Now you think have an empathy gene? Would you like to use it for making a difference in the world and at the same time get out of this rat race and be financially successful at the same time?

Become a Certified Parent-Family Coach