How can a consultant or coach help us adjust our mindset for more positive outcomes? it is the half-full or half-empty glass kind of metaphor…
Negativity can discourage us:
add to our stress,
put a strain on our relationship,
make us less productive, and
reduce our overall happiness.
A positive mindset, on the other hand, has many benefits across our lives regarding our health, relationships, and careers.
But, how do you become more positive? Is it that simple? Take a moment to listen to this brief audio reminder:
Five steps to developing a more positive mindset:
1. Keep a thought journal
If you have a negative internal dialogue continually keeping you down, you need to take action to banish these thoughts. If you have difficulty identifying this negativity a simple first action can be keeping a thought journal. Write down a random sample of ideas in your mind about yourself, events, people around you, and other events that happen throughout your day.
Then analyze these thoughts by reviewing the journal every night and establishing your thought patterns towards a positive mindset.
Do specific events trigger your negative thoughts? Take note of these and the next time you face a triggering situation, review carefully how you are approaching it.
2. Banish negative self-talk
After keeping track of your thoughts for a week or two, you will notice how consuming your negative thoughts can be. The next step is to banish these all together. Next time you write down negative thoughts in your journal, rephrase the wording so that it becomes a neutral statement.
“Bob forgot to take out the trash again so I had to do it and it ruined my evening.”
“Bob forgot to take out the trash. I did it. instead.”
This step is a small but effective way to train yourself. Don’t do this exercise only on paper or in your journal. Begin to rephrase your negative thoughts into neutral phrases in your mind. The practice will become automatic and significantly reduces your anxiety.
3. See the positive side
To jump straight from negative into positive thoughts is a challenge and the reason why the neutral-thought stage is crucial. By banishing negative self-talk, you are in an excellent position to see different, genuine positivity in situations.
Refer back to your thought journal and examine again the negative thoughts you have had. For each negative view, can you transform it into at least one positive, upbeat equivalent?
For example, if you dislike a person because they speak poorly to you, think about how you are developing more resilience. What is the positive from that contrary position?
It can be hard to find benefits within challenging circumstances, but there is always a way to see something good.
As the Dalai Lama once said, “See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” Sometime, a lot of effort might be required, but it’s worth it!
4. Keep a gratitude journal
A gratitude journal is an incredible way to take stock of all of the beautiful things around you. Every evening you write down the sound, positive aspects of your day. In general, what are you grateful for and why?
Perhaps you are grateful to your friends for their support, for the warm bed where you sleep well, or for the great weather you had that day. Write down all the positives.
When I started a gratitude journal, I found my mind arguing with me and contradicting my positive statements. What I learned from exploring this is when I don’t sleep well, the mind complains the next day without fail. Further research indicated that this is a typical pattern, but few people recognize the link between lack of sleep and mental angst or complaints.
5. Learn your sleep habits
This is a sure-fire way to re-ground you, make you gain perspective and make you realize how insignificant that particular trigger may be in the larger scheme of things. Context is essential, so keep shifting your mind towards the positive.
Practicing these four simple thoughts can help you transform how you perceive the world around you. Positive perception has the power to change your life, improving your attitudes and the ways that you respond to stress triggers.[Be patient and keep working at positivity, as it has so many benefits for your life, so make the most of it!
How do you define SUCCESS? One defnition is success is achieving your financial goals through your online coachinfg or consulting business.
Not a Destination
The problem is, success isn’t a destination. Success is a journey with stops along the way. Being successful is moving toward your goals, this the way to achieve it is to be constantly moving forward with the goals in the distance. Your happiness isn’t dependent upon actually reaching that goal, however. Your success is based on the sense of accomplishment you derived from having closed the distance and achieved that goal.
The bottom line is that your definition of success is on the path to get the things that you want, one at a time, and to continue to improve yourself and to inspire yourself to reach the next level.
That brings us to the framework for those goals that you want to achieve – your habits for success. The practices that you cultivate will result in the success you desire. Habits for success are clearly defined, well thought out and designed to take you to the goals that you have set for yourself. To understand what a pattern for success is, set some goals first. But for demonstration purposes, here are three different examples because it can be difficult to know how to identify the successful habit.
The reason that people have problems becoming successful is that they have not figured out exactly what it means to be a success! Defining it for yourself is the first step in achieving it. AT ACPI, we have varied goals for reaching our audience as well as monthly financial goals to tell us we are on target.
The problem is…success isn’t really a destination. Success is a journey with stops along the way. Those stops are the destinations where you want to arrive, but there is no final destination. Being successful and happy is moving toward your goals, and the only way to achieve it is to be constantly moving forward.
You are going to want more, and that’s okay. You set another goal – a higher purpose – of being able to attend charity dinners where the price of a plate is over $1000 for example. Your happiness isn’t dependent upon the actual goal achievement. It is based upon your hard work and your sense of accomplishment derived from having achieved that goal
The bottom line is that your definition of success is never a specific destination. Preferably, your destiny is being on the path to get the things that you want and continue to improve yourself and inspire yourself to reach more and more goals.
That brings us to the framework for those goals that you want to achieve – your habits for success. The practices that you will be teaching yourself result in the success you desire. Habits for success are clearly defined, well thought out and designed to take you to the goals that you have set for yourself. To understand what a pattern for success is complete, you set some goals first.
Five Lessons from Warren Buffet
You might be wondering what super-investor Warren Buffett can teach you about life. You might be thinking that he knows a lot about money, but that has little to do with being an expert on life. You might be surprised. Warren is famous for his simple lifestyle and love of his work. Let these lessons in life be a guide for contentment in your own life:
1. Focus on what you love. Warren has a beautiful, modest home, and drives a $40,000 car. He could own the most expensive house and vehicles in the world, but he doesn’t. He drinks Coke, buys what he likes, and enjoys a relatively simple life.
Enjoy your life and the things you have. Avoid being concerned about what everyone else has or about what you could have. It’s more satisfying to own one perfect painting than to own ten that don’t thrill you. Seek out the things you love and avoid wasting your time on the rest.
2. Quality is more important than quantity. You only need to make a few right decisions to be incredibly successful. Warren Buffett has hundreds of billions of dollars to invest for himself and others, yet he frequently only owns 20 or so stocks. Be picky. Be happy with a smaller quantity.
Warren has a very famous line that states, “Your financial wealth would be much greater if you could only make 20 investments in your lifetime. You would make sure they were great if you had only 20 chances.”
3. Do what you love. Warren has said that the essential part of success and contentment is doing what you love every day. That’s why he’s never stopped investing and making money. If you’re spending your time doing what you love, you continue doing the same thing regardless of how much money you have.
You might not enjoy the career you have right now. But are you doing anything to change that? Do you have a plan? Imagine how much more content you would be if you enjoyed going into work each day.
4. Mind your own business. You needn’t be concerned with what the competition is doing. Avoid being influenced by everyone else. If you do what everyone else is doing, you’ll simply be average. Avoid comparing yourself to everyone else. Follow your intuition. Most of us are overly concerned with others. We’re worried about how we compare. We’re concerned about their opinions of us. They’re probably thinking the same things. Get yourself out of that loop and do your job.
5. Stick to your talents. Warren is famous for shunning high-tech investments, even when they were practically a sure thing. He has stated that he doesn’t understand them well enough to invest in them. Stay in your areas of strength. You don’t need to do everything. Focus on what you know well.
We usually enjoy doing the things that showcase our strengths. That’s human nature. It also makes life easier. Work on your weaknesses, but leverage your strengths.
You might be thinking, “Yeah, anyone could be content with $50 billion.” But that’s not true. Studies have shown that happiness and income correlate to $75,000. Above that income level, happiness does not increase.
Super wealthy people became wealthy mainly because they were comfortable living a particular way and kept moving forward to those goals or achievements they had scheduled into life. You can be just as content, even if you never amass a mega-fortune. Aim to increase the amount of contentment in your life. It might not be an issue of money, possessions, or the other things that most people think to lead to happiness.
Do you know that the tool–creative visualization– allows for manifestation? Using viewing, as it is intended, changes your circumstances and sometimes your entire life. Concentrating and focusing on a particular outcome can, indeed, make it happen because I have experienced it several times in my life.
When I was a divorced mom with a beautiful young daughter, I read the novel Hawaii during the summer months that school was out. The author James Michener, wrote with such fluency that the story mesmerized me. I day-dreamed about Hawaii and what life there might be for a Special Education teacher.
I imagined it often enough that I unwittingly created a marriage to a native Hawaiian teacher. I was not careful what I asked for, and the union dissolved after seven years.
Visualization works. When paired with positive emotional states, it works better.
Goodman was a successful insurance salesman, who was well-versed in creative visualization. He visualized his entire insurance business.
In the 1980’s, a plane crash rendered Morris paralyzed and unable to use any part of his body other than his brain. He breathed on his own with the help of a ventilator.
Doctors were not hopeful. His family made plans to support his limitations as best they could. Meantime, Morris communicated with the staff and his own family by blinking his eyes. What he told them surprised everybody – that he planned on walking out of the hospital on his own.
Morris used creative visualization to see and feel himself breathing and walking without help. He visualized leaving the hospital, and even the very route he would take home.
At one point, he convinced the medical staff that he wanted to attempt breathing on his own. He claimed he had an urge to breathe on his own and he wanted to try. They removed the ventilator tube, and he did breathe on his own.
From that point on, he walked out of the hospital–something that the hospital staff believed they would not see. Morris continued with his successful insurance business, and also became a motivational speaker, proving that it only takes the brain and creative visualization to change your entire world.
In interviewing Elizabeth about being a parenting coach, she asked, “But who would listen to me? What if I can’t connect to a client?”
Her questions were valid, and they also revealed low self-worth. This thinking could keep Elizabeth from achieving important goals and becoming all that she desired to be.
Do you feel that you’re not good enough for people to pay you?
Do you underestimate that your insight could have a positive influence on others?
Have self-worth issues affected your friendships or personal relationships?
Many of our unworthy feelings might come from what we experienced in childhood or from negative life experiences as an adult. Have you dealt with low esteem at some point in your life? Or have low self-worth issues affected your choices? Upset your relationships? Then to improve your self-worth and gain confidence as a parent coach or a family consultant, try these three steps.
Step Out: Visit with a friend, who is also a parent, and ask his or her permission to speak up. Tihs is your practice session:
“I’ve observed Ian’s behavior, and I have a suggestion to increase your results in getting him to sleep. Does that work for you?”
“I’d like to suggest that…”
“Can I practice coaching you as a parent…”
How much is an in-depth coaching session worth to you?
You Can Change
Why do you feel you don’t deserve a fair price for your work efforts? You can change that mindset. You can overcome your doubt. One way is to create new habits like these, for instance:
Practice offering suggestions to friends several times a week. They key is to ask their permission or to ask how you can help?
You can mentally reprogram those negative voices with positive ones so that you feel worthy of earning and gaining wealth.
Don’t I Have To Be an Expert?
When Elizabeth asked this question, she explained that she felt a lack of coaching experience. This problem is common for many of us until we get our feet wet.
Like Elizabeth, we have to remember which urgent feeling inside led to the place of wanting to build a business. The typical answer is that we are here to help others, provide connection and communication that serves the higher good.
Over time, Elizabeth felt assured that her listening skills would carry the coach-client conversation until she thought to add her two cents. And she was a patient listener, who learned to speak up and ask more question,s when she felt the client needed insight. At last, she had moved beyond feeling unworthy and needing to prove herself.
Sometimes, like Elizabeth, an entrepreneurial coach has a desire to learn and a passion for helping. Being honest with people who seek advice is another virtue that entrepreneurs need to cultivate, rather than advise or guess at answers. Or, offer to find solutions, which is how Linda grew in her confidence.
Grow Into Your Confidence
We want to feel good about ourselves. When we are confident, we feel better emotionally and mentally, and this reflects positively on our behaviorsand improves our quality of life, from personal relationships to our professional endeavors.
Thus, whatever helps boost our self-confidence is good for us. One of the best ways to do this is by exercising regularly. Exercise is not only good for self-assurance but has excellent health benefits.
So how can exercise boost self-confidence? Try these steps, perhaps one every other day, to have a new experience of confidence.
A Step in Building Your Self Confidence
Your confidence is the accumulation of all your reactions to the experiences that life brought you. Many factors contribute to the personal understanding of confidence.
One determining influence is how right are the circumstances of your life. Do you tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations? In the process, the losses could become too painful, and you eventually suffer the effects of lower self-confidence.
On the other hand, if you rely more on playing safe and creating more achievable goals that are easier to attain, then you act with confidence. Also, achievements add to the development of self-confidence.
People, especially those with low self-worth like Elizabeth, benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing well. They should strive to gain the confidence.
You may already have heard the phrase, “It is all in your mind.” The statement is true for some psychological and emotional conditions that have mental roots. Thus, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don’t want. You can suppress emotions, and in the process, you help feelings materialize. To deepen your confidence, watching your thoughts and the words you say are how you grow in awareness. What you speak are not mere words, but concepts that dug deep within and integrated into your being. If you believe in these phrases, then there is no way that you won’t understand their direct opposite expressions.
Central to building self-confidence is one’s belief about self, much like Elizabeth’s honest statements. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. The motivation to change must come from you. You start with talking to yourself using positive statements. Self-talk research shows that you do not have to believe in such statements. However, saying, thinking, or reading the statements do sink in and have a positive effect.
You, the confident, can change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.