How to Understand Children through Temperaments Traits

One sensitive issue parents contend with is their child's temperament. Understanding children's inborn traits is a key to better parenting and happier children, especially in the development years.

Before my daughter was born, I imagined her to be a specific type of a good-natured child. As she grew up, I realized my always viewing her as good-natured was a pre-conceived idea I had. Her childhood moods meandered through creative, sensitive, emotional, and even defiant in the early teen years. And she was good natured about most events in her life.

Understanding her temperament enabled me not to blame my self for her situations. Instead, I learned strategies to deal with difficult circumstances or conditions. One point of discipline I followed was to diffuse challenging situation so as not to escalate into major conflicts that might cause harm.

Temperament information helps you see how your child learns, responds, reacts, and behaves. Through the earlier years of development, you see reactions begin to form into a pattern of values, needs, and fears:

+++++ One child needs closeness, touch, and assurance from parents.Thus, he values following his parents, climbing in their laps and being cuddled or held.
His fear of not having the needs met, or when his needs are not met, he feels, hurt, lost, or angry.

+++++ Another youngster values being by herself--independence.
She plays with her dolls and likes doing so by herself.
Her need to learn through trial an error means that she pushes parents away sometimes with the familiar, "I can do it."

+++++ Children, who readily and quickly shift, show adaptive temperaments. They learn more by doing and practicing.

+++++ Children, who have slower-to-warm temperaments, learn by watching and rehearsing internally.

+++++ Children's challenging temperaments cause us to regroup:

  1. Ask what is the child going through?
  2. Is this a temperament trait or learned behavior that needs to change?
  3. Are the child's needs being met?
  4. Are fears causing issues?
  5. Has the child's value been diminished in any way?

Easy/Flexible Temperament

This child views the world through optimistic eyes, adapts quickly and maintains positivity well. He is a natural learner, eats and sleeps regularly (has no trouble sleeping), is pleasant and cheerful, and displays a low-intensity mood.

Because this child feels deeply in certain situations, he has few significant emotional outbursts. This type comprises about 40% of all people.

Feisty/Difficult/Spirited

The Feisty/Difficult/Spirited group of children comprises about 10% of the population. This grouping is the opposite of the flexible children. Feisty children are slow to adapt to the routines: napping, eating, homework, quiet time. Moreover, bowel movements are not regular. The spirited child has preferences for parents to discover and manage. On the hand, the child shows his mastery for specific tasks.

The feisty child has tantrums, is fussy, and can be unpleasant in disagreements. With high energy, this child explores with intensity and can get into mischief, On the other hand, he or she is bursting with energy and explores the surrounding and people intensely.

Slow-To-Warm Types

The third general temperament type is aptly called Slow-To-Warm, and 15% of the population belongs to this category. Slow to warm types are shy or highly-sensitive persons (which they sometimes are. They watch their world and usually observe on the outside of things before joining. Their internal clock is disrupted easily and shows up in irregular sleeping, feeding and other personal habits. This child seems to be always enjoying things or doing them at his own sweet pace.

The rest of the 35% of the population are combinations of several temperaments. They exhibit traits of all three temperament types and cannot be categorized into a single trait pattern. The feature they share is that they have characteristics of all three temperaments.

In all these temperament types, you will also find yours. Understanding children and their temperaments include understanding your own. Doing so will open your eyes to the many areas where you can connect to that of your children, or whether you are compatible with each other or not.

How to Parent the Whole Child

Parenting the whole child implies that we honor our children’s wholeness while we dissect and discuss the parts of the whole—physical body, mind, emotions and spirit. It may indeed be paradoxical, but it’s our way of understanding how the parts contribute to the whole and our job if we work with parents, families, and children.

We consider our children’s wholeness when we:

  • Bear in mind the emotional and mental factors that contribute to strep throat.
  • Look to a biochemical problem associated with a child’s temper
  • Consider the negative self-talk and thoughts that can float around in the head of a depressed teen.
  • Regard childhood patterns from a holistic perspective. These can include a child who falls down all the time, one who has allergies, one who is shy and sensitive, one who doesn’t want to be touched, and so on. We want to help, but do we help their biochemistry, their behavior or their spirit?
  • Think about how children spend their time, and if their activities are balanced between stimulation and quiet.

Bundles of Energy

The foundation of whole-child parenting is understanding that our children are bundles of energy in the form of thoughts, physical activity, emotional expression and spirit. Rather than thinking about managing our children, think about managing their energy.

The energy of the body needs food, touch, air and water. The energy of the emotions needs positive input like optimism, smiles and support. The energy of thought needs inspiration and imagination, or it gets bored. The energy of the spirit needs connection, faith, compassion and quiet. It needs calm moments of awareness.

Most of us know these things and have our own intuitive ways of mothering and fathering our children. In fact, the joy of parenting the whole child is discovering how much you already know and do. The ease of whole-child parenting is that when one avenue doesn’t work, there is always another way. For example, because we know that the nature of emotional energy can be chaotic, we can find several ways to structure and channel positive emotional energy with our child. We might follow schedules, share meals, read books or see a heart-warming movie.

A Soul Living in a Child’s Body

 Thinking of a child as an “energy bundle” helps us take our parenting less personally when a child screams, “I hate you.” What we want to take to heart is that this soul is living with us in a child’s body. We are responsible for helping this child to develop in the best, most fulfilling way possible.

Parenting is really about educating the mind and body so our children are happy, successful and healthy in body and soul. Working with the mind-body connection is the foundation for parenting the whole child.

If you read this post till the end, you probably are kind of person who wants to help folks live to their maximum potential. Your hunger for having an influence on people forced you to read this article and much more that you already read. It’s just the right time to take a step further and become a certified parent coach and give your purpose a meaning. Have a look at our coaching certification and decide which one suits your talents best..

See also Coaching Whole-Parent and Whole Child 1 and  Coaching Whole-Parent and Whole Child 2

Parent-Family Coaching Programs

 

Money Ceiling – How Do You Limit Money Potential?

Some people attract money. Others can't hold on to it. Still, others seem to have a money ceiling, especially people in helping professions.

Are you willing to stop how you limit money potential? Discover more...

"People perceive, value and treat money differently.  But regardless of how you interact with it, money and your financial circumstances play a major role in your life.  Money can provide security, freedom and power and lack of it can leave you feeling inadequate and trapped in undesirable circumstances."   Christy Matta, M.A.

Three Reasons Why You Could Be Limiting Your Income

 

1.  What Is In Your Head?

Your childhood consciousness absorbed so much of your parents and grandparents' money statements like a sponge. Go here to learn a strategy to discover your childhood statements that disrupt your relationship to money. What you absorbed from previous generations most likely is rooted in three emotions--fear, guilt, and anxiety.

I remember these money-related phrases from my father as he spoke to his four daughters through the years: One day you'll have a good man to take of you. You won't ever have to worry about money. Make sure you have a  job of teaching to fall back on. You can put your birthday money in a savings account. You cannot spend it. Your mother is on a strict budget.  

Please do not believe that trying to control your thoughts or changing your thoughts is going to change your relationship with money. Neither will affirmations although using affirmations provides a focus for the mental distraction from emotional reactions. Transformation of ingrained childhood beliefs takes more in-depth discovery on an emotional level! That is, the heart level!

2. What Is In Your Heart?

Those phrases your parents used, whether around fear, guilt, anxiety or joy may be all mixed up in your heart's emotional center.

  1. Begin by working with your feelings from the past. What were the parents' beliefs and words regarding money?
  2. Next,  connect the past feelings to your emotional reactions in the present.
  3. The comparison reveals how you adapted to your parents' emotional swirls around income, spending, savings, and security. 
  4. To change the financial situation, are you willing to review and claim all how you sabotage your financial stability?


The fault triggers are from childhood, and the money memories rise until YOU TAKE CHARGE!

Once you do, you'll feel free, energized and enthusiastic, and liberated  

Money can symbolize power, security, an abundance of stuff, and even your very survival. The possible or actual loss of money is like a skilled swordsman who turns in circles to protect his back from the enemy who surrounds him.

Do you understand how these money matters create a constant stream of chronic stressors? Your reactions generate your partner's responses. If either of you reacts as if you are in a  life-threatening situation, your survival instincts kick in.

Whoo! Emotional overload, fear of no money, survival threatened. That is when one or both of you go off to extreme actions. Stop it now and learn how to earn by maximizing your passion for profit. 

 

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Parenting Coach and Conscious Parenting

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach and begin providing compassionate coaching. You receive the trusted training you need to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey of helping others in a very rewarding career

Coaching for Conscious Parenting

Many people in this world were born with an innate gift that they didn't know they had until they started noticing what happens to people who come around them. There is a special sparkle in people that can turn a sad, stressed, or insecure person into a happy, relaxed, and confident one through their empathy, warmth, and positive energy.

A Career Fit for a Humanitarian

Humanitarians have this special gift, as they are the nurturers, the ones that aren't selfish and thrive on having compassion for others. If you feel like this description reminds you of yourself, then become a certified parenting coach. With your gifts to promote healing in others, you are a parent's support system. Being able to communicate with parents that are suffering from a learning curve with new baby, or for the parents that try their best but struggle with dealing with a child's unpredictable behavior.

Parent Coaching Certification

A certified parenting coach is a kind and compassionate resources that parents call when they need help. Guidance through some of the most common parental issues on a day-to-day basis is needed. It's not to say they're bad parents. Everyone needs to extend an arm and reach out when some situations seem unfamiliar or too much to handle.

Helping Families Through Divorce

Being a certified parenting coach comes with an excellent opportunity to offer support for parents that are going through a painful divorce, and are trying to learn how to be a single parent, or even learn to co-parent with the former spouse. Another great way for a certified parenting coach to offer support is during family trauma when everyone is too stressed to focus on their well-being, much less another family member.

The certified parent coach can come in and be the ears for the parent to clear the air. Or they can ask the parent questions to open the lines of communication. A helpful plan or individual strategy can be implemented in releasing some of the stress during the traumatic situation.

Flexibility is Key to Being a Successful Parenting Coach

A certified parenting coach needs to be flexible for the parent's schedule involving day or evening hours and to be around for months at a time. A certified parent coach will not only improve the lives of their clients, but also empower their professional and personal life. Working from home is a terrific way to earn money in a field that allows you to inspire others and yourself along with connecting with like-minded people, who make new friends easily.

A Rewarding Career Filled with Compassionate People

By becoming a certified parenting coach, you will receive the experience of contentment that comes with making an impactful difference in the world. Teaching other parents positive, conscious parenting skills can be passed on to the next generation in their family.

Having the freedom of running a business solely centered around your compassion for helping others while continuing with an ongoing support will be self-rewarding. Be a part of an inspiring team of people who thrive in the teachings that motivate, uplift, and assist parents in creating a home that is filled with love, patience, understanding in a conscious environment.

Benefits of Training to Become Certified Parenting Coach

With a plethora of benefits to working from home aside from the excitement of working with no walls, you also get the freedom of a more work/home balance and a quieter atmosphere. The time that it would take to get to a physical job site can be spent working instead of sitting in traffic. Your office can be anywhere you want it to be from laying in a hammock with your laptop to sitting at your breakfast bar enjoying your coffee. Working in a remote setting has so many benefits while simultaneously helping other people with their lives.

Help a Family Build a Stronger Family Unit

A chance to change people's lives is not something someone should take lightly. Such work can be the foundation of improving the quality of a family unit. Think what happens when a parent does not reach out. They might have taken an entirely different path with unwanted consequences. Be there to help a family take the right path.To make the best choices in building a strong family unit is crucial.

The feeling is incredible to help a family unit based on respect, compassion, understanding and willingness to create the best family bond possible. Be that special someone a family can count on. Likewise, fulfill your calling.  Your gift is such an intrinsic part of who you are as a person, that it will leave you feeling proud of yourself.

Helping Parents Break Unhealthy Habits

Some parents fear that their childhood traumas will interfere with how they raise their children. They fear repeating the mistakes their parents made and don't want to detach themselves from a potentially strong bond. They need your help. Conscious Parenting is not a strict set of rules for parents to follow, but are beliefs about what our children need to develop and thrive.

  • Do you want to become a certified parenting coach and begin living the life you'd always dreamt of having?
  • Do you want to spend your time in a positive way...making the world a bit better by promoting human welfare?
  • Committing yourself to altruistic acts is not only beneficial to the recipient but your very own soul.

Take That Important Step To Become a Certified Parenting Coach

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach. learn to offer compassionate coaching by receiving the trusted training to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey. Get started in a role of influencing parents and families through educating and coaching for a better heart-to-heart connection. Do you have what it takes for Coaching for Conscious Parenting? If yes, start today and share your gifts with others.

 

Become a Certified Parent-Family Coach

Feel Unworthy of Being a Paid Parenting Coach? How to Improve Low Self Worth!


In interviewing Elizabeth about being a parenting coach, she asked, "But who would listen to me? What if I can't connect to a client?"

Her questions were valid, and they also revealed low self-worth. This thinking could keep Elizabeth from achieving important goals and becoming all that she desired to be.

  • Do you feel that you're not good enough for people to pay you?
  • Do you underestimate that your insight could have a positive influence on others?
  • Have self-worth issues affected your friendships or personal relationships?

From Childhood

Many of our unworthy feelings might come from what we experienced in childhood or from negative life experiences as an adult. Have you dealt with low esteem at some point in your life? Or have low self-worth issues affected your choices? Upset your relationships? Then to improve your self-worth and gain confidence as a parent coach or a family consultant, try these three steps.

Step Out: Visit with a friend, who is also a parent, and ask his or her permission to speak up. Tihs is your practice session:

  • "I've observed Ian's behavior, and I have a suggestion to increase your results in getting him to sleep. Does that work for you?"
  • "I'd like to suggest that..."
  • "Can I practice coaching you as a parent..."

How much is an in-depth coaching session worth to you?

You Can Change

Why do you feel you don't deserve a fair price for your work efforts? You can change that mindset. You can overcome your doubt. One way is to create new habits like these, for instance:

  1. Practice offering suggestions to friends several times a week. They key is to ask their permission or to ask how you can help?
  2. You can mentally reprogram those negative voices with positive ones so that you feel worthy of earning and gaining wealth.

Don't I Have To Be an Expert?

When Elizabeth asked this question, she explained that she felt a lack of coaching experience. This problem is common for many of us until we get our feet wet.

Like Elizabeth, we have to remember which urgent feeling inside led to the place of wanting to build a business. The typical answer is that we are here to help others, provide connection and communication that serves the higher good.

Over time, Elizabeth felt assured that her listening skills would carry the coach-client conversation until she thought to add her two cents. And she was a patient listener, who learned to speak up and ask more question,s when she felt the client needed insight. At last, she had moved beyond feeling unworthy and needing to prove herself.

Sometimes, like Elizabeth, an entrepreneurial coach has a desire to learn and a passion for helping. Being honest with people who seek advice is another virtue that entrepreneurs need to cultivate, rather than advise or guess at answers. Or, offer to find solutions, which is how Linda grew in her confidence.

Grow Into Your Confidence

We want to feel good about ourselves. When we are confident, we feel better emotionally and mentally, and this reflects positively on our behaviors and improves our quality of life, from personal relationships to our professional endeavors.

Thus, whatever helps boost our self-confidence is good for us. One of the best ways to do this is by exercising regularly. Exercise is not only good for self-assurance but has excellent health benefits.

So how can exercise boost self-confidence? Try these steps, perhaps one every other day, to have a new experience of confidence.

A Step in Building Your Self Confidence

Your confidence is the accumulation of all your reactions to the experiences that life brought you. Many factors contribute to the personal understanding of confidence.

One determining influence is how right are the circumstances of your life. Do you tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations? In the process, the losses could become too painful, and you eventually suffer the effects of lower self-confidence. 

On the other hand, if you rely more on playing safe and creating more achievable goals that are easier to attain, then you act with confidence.  Also, achievements add to the development of self-confidence.

People, especially those with low self-worth like Elizabeth,  benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing well. They should strive to gain the confidence. 

You may already have heard the phrase, "It is all in your mind." The statement is true for some psychological and emotional conditions that have mental roots. Thus, the antidote might as well come from the same source.

You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don't want. You can suppress emotions, and in the process, you help feelings materialize. To deepen your confidence, watching your thoughts and the words you say are how you grow in awareness. What you speak are not mere words, but concepts that dug deep within and integrated into your being. If you believe in these phrases, then there is no way that you won't understand their direct opposite expressions. 

Central to building self-confidence is one's belief about self, much like Elizabeth's honest statements. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. The motivation to change must come from you.  You start with talking to yourself using positive statements. Self-talk research shows that you do not have to believe in such statements. However, saying, thinking, or reading the statements do sink in and have a positive effect. 

 You, the confident, can change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.