Coaching Men In Crisis

Coaching Men In Crisis

Guest Article from Mark Brandenberg, who specializes in coaching men.

Some men have trouble asking for help, and calling a coach is asking for help. Coaching men is useful because it is private.  However, men don’t call coaches until they have a crisis. Men often call a coach when they are on the verge of a divorce. They are no good at picking up a wife’s signals that she’s tired of the marriage. They are often in shock about what is happening.

As a parenting expert coaching men, some clients will come with a crisis. A situation is imploding. How does a divorcing Dad converse with his son? A mother phones to say that her son wants to quit high school and join the Marines, and she does not like that idea.

Sometimes the crisis is low-key but still essential to the client. For example, a child needs to be potty-trained within a few weeks, or he will not be accepted into nursery school. Both clients want help! Both scenarios will impact your process of coaching men and the relationship with your client.

If the client is not in crisis, you will be able to establish your coaching sessions in a smoother way. If the client is in crisis, the focus of your first sessions will be helping the client through the rough spot and then establishing a vital goals in the coaching relationship. 

Let the client talk it out.

Encourage your client to share deeper feelings. You have to listen. You listen actively and soulfully. Take notes. Hear your client’s concerns. Be aware of what the client says and what he or she is leaving out.

Listen to words, feel out the emotional content, and focus.

Stay in a listener’s role. You may be tempted to jump in with suggestions and practical information, but it is better to hold back and listen.

When coaching men, you may observe vulnerability and be tempted to take over the problem. At this point, remind yourself that you are coming from the coaching perspective, not a therapeutic one.

You are a coach, and as such, you believe that:
1. This client is a whole, healthy, and resourceful person.
2. This client has the inner resources to handle this problem.

Allow the person to talk through whatever is troubling him or her.
Ask questions so that you truly understand what is going on. The first session may be entirely about letting the client tell his story and vent emotions. You may do very little talking.

If a problem is fundamental and life-changing, you may have to refer your client for psychotherapy. When necessary, schedule more than one session per week in the first weeks of coaching. The thrust of your work will be to calm the person and determine how you, as a coach, can work with the person’s strengths to get her past the crisis mode. After a few sessions, the client will feel more in control.

Come Up With A Business Story

Come Up With A Business Story

Telling stories is a great way to connect with your audience, and for life coaches, business stories illustrate the struggles and successes we all share.

It doesn’t matter if you are on stage, teaching a class, writing an email to your list, recording a podcast or writing a blog post. Business storytelling could and should should play a big part of your content creation and marketing strategies. But how do you come up with those stories in the first place? Here are seven tips to help you keep the business story ideas flowing so you can find just the right one for just about any situation.

Share A Recent Encounter

Often the best story are happening to you and all around you. Think about a client who is successful in her achievements? Can you tell her story as an example to newbies? What is the best coaching conversation you ever had? Or which complement from a client meant the most to you? And why was that story most meaningful?

Recall A Conversation

storyConversations offer great story ideas. Without going into too many details or sharing too much information about the person you were talking to, what was the underlying message of the conversation in your storytelling. Example: One parent, who called me, was frustrated her their three-year-old daughter was always singing, dancing, and seemed “overly” playful. The daughter was a total contrast to their eldest daughter, aged ten, who mom described as most like the parents. Parents and older daughter liked to read, study the stars, read science-type magazines. The younger child shared  few, if any, interests with the parents and older sister. I shared with the parents how there are different temperaments, and because the older sister was an intellectual, didn’t mean that the second child would be of the same temperament. No, the younger child was the talkative, creative, dancing ballerina.. They got it, and I didn’t hear from them until ten years later. Now older daughter is thirteen and younger daughter is six. Mom called to share how the knowledge of temperaments changed their lives. They started offering the younger child outlets for her dancing body and creative brain, as they offered the older child classes and experiences in which her strengths could flower.

Dig Deep and Share A Childhood Memory

Childhood memories are another great source of story ideas. The memories that stick with us from way back when are often the ones that taught us a valuable lesson or had a significant impact on who we are today. Think back to what you remember from your childhood and how you can tie those memories into what you’re doing today.

Pay Attention To Your Surroundings

Stories are going on all around us. Pay attention to the situations and conversations people have around you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how many story ideas you’ll get just by paying attention your surroundings. Example: I went to the hospital when I felt sharp pains crackle cross my chest. Heart attack? Not sure! Go to bed or go to the emergency room? Go to the hospital. Over five hours, I was admitted, assigned a bed, tested, and the doctor finally arrived in the early morning to tell me the news.

“You have a pulmonary embolism.”

“And that is….?”

“You have a blood clot in your lungs.”

“Shit?”

Carry A Little Notebook

We’ve established that there are conversations around us from which we draw a story theme. as you observe those stories, which are memorable that would be a good fit with the content or product.  Stick a little notebook and pen in your purse, briefcase or jacket. Keep it with you and jot down short notes about ideas, thoughts, conversations and situations that have storytelling potential.

Listen To Your Family and Friends

Pay attention to your loved ones. They are sharing stories with you on a regular basis. Listen to your kids when they come home from school. Sit down for an after-school snack, and ask them about their day. You’ll have an almost never-ending supply of storytelling material. Listen with rapt attention to feel their emotions and exemplify those feelings in your story, as they are genuine and believable. Keep looking for new ideas and keep telling those stories to grow your business, connect with you readers and make the sale.

Premium: How to Market Your Coaching or Consulting Practice

Here are several examples to help market your coaching or consulting practice. These examples will help you master your marketing skills while others will simply grow your network, with the potential for additional revenue-enhancing techniques.

Personal Marketing
Create an advanced and broad network.

• Do your homework – find an online network that meets your needs.
• Meet other top coaches and form an alliance.
• Help others as often as possible and ask for help yourself. 
• Become a person that others want to know.

Public Relations
Become locally or nationally known.

• Create a press kit.
• Offer a free session to high-profile clients.
• Get in the news or on TV – offer to comment on relevant issues.
• Send out consistent press releases.
• Become a known expert in your field.
• Appear on a talk or radio show.
• Write a column on a blog or in a newspaper.

Electronic Marketing
The Internet is the advanced form of spreading the news about your business.

• Create or develop a professional website.
• Get links from other sites to your site.
• Create daily, useful content on your website.
• Add meta tags for search engine spiders.
• Create a scheduled newsletter to share information.

Creating Credibility
Become respected in your field.

• Create a niche in the business by finding a specialty.
• Find an “edge” and become certified as a coach with credentialing.
• Speak with other coaches and offer to teach for them.
• Write a book or ebook and compose articles, blogs, etc.

Becoming an Expert
As a professional, take the time to become an expert at your craft.

• Develop better listening and diagnostic skills.
• Speak in simple terms with potential clients. Don’t over-explain!
• Understand and master your coaching skills.
• Read books to enhance your skills and knowledge level
• Consider attending a coaching conference.

Sell Yourself
Learn how to sell your product or service and yourself.

• Create an elevator pitch – a one-sentence introduction.
• Know what you’re selling and why you’re selling it.
• Take time to serve every potential buyer.
• In sales, be absolutely fearless.
• Ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no.

Earning Referrals
By always delivering more than a promise, referrals can be endless.

• Know your strengths and understand your weaknesses.
• Identify your target audience and clients.
• Learn to pass on clients that do not align with your skills.
• Consider offering free introductory discovery calls.
• Do not be afraid to ask for referrals—casual or otherwise.

Delivering Products/Services
Know what you are selling and give everyone something to buy.

• Offer the chance for group coaching.
• License all of your programs and work.
Offer or sell mp3 or audio tapes to potential clients.
• Take the time to launch a virtual university.

Groundwork: Coaching Families with Special Needs-Guest Post

Early Behavioral Theories

By Deborah Beasley The groundwork that laid the early theories for our current understanding of treating, and parenting children with emotional, psychological, and developmental disorders is about 60 years old. In the last thirty years, research in the areas of trauma, stress, PTSD, and the child’s developing brain has intensified through the dedication of the superstars of the world of trauma, children, and affect-regulation. Noteworthy names include: • John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, for their work in early parent child attachment. (Download John-Bowlby link for PDF.) • Allen Shore for his extensive contemporary work in affect-regulation • Peter Levine, Bruce Perry, and Bessel van der Kolk for their unstoppable research and discovery in the effects of trauma on the neurobiological and social-emotional development of children. Their collective, groundbreaking, work is the sound philosophy of this training, backed by the science of neurobiology and neuropsychology. We now know that the healing path for children and families with emotional and behavioral difficulties rests on the firm foundation of these principles: 1. Healthy relationship and attachment between the parent and child as its pivotal point. 2. Understanding affect-regulation and brain development as the fulcrum of healing in the family. Our relationship-focused model combines the best strategies and methods of all other approaches. The results we seek in this coaching/parenting model are • To support and maintain a healthy relationship between the parent and child and unity in the family. • To respect the unique cultural differences in family composition, and • To identify and build upon the individual strengths and qualities of parent and child. This model uses the best practices of current behavioral, cognitive, sensorimotor and interpersonal approaches, as well as traditional wisdom and related modern science, to create a path to healing which best fits the circumstances and behavioral needs of individual families. We use what is usable within the context of a healing relationship and discard the rest. Are you a kind of person who wants to help families with special needs by becoming a parent coach but you don’t know how to become a parent coach? Register for our coaching families with special needs course and become a certified parent coach.

coaching families with special needs course

 

Key to Financially Successful Parent Coaches

Are you struggling with a decision to become a parent coach? Do you wonder how to succeed with business training?  

Entrepreneurship calls to the restless souls who want to serve as financially successful parent coaches. Like you might have questions, I questioned my own decision to start the Academy for Coaching Parents International.

I thoroughly grasp the hesitance in starting a new business and committing to its success–your success. However, one fact will always be sincere….

…In economic tough times, entrepreneurs flourish. Focusing that same worry about time and energy on developing a new service or filling a need in a community is worth your time and effort. You can become a financially successful entrepreneur in a relevant coaching business.

A recent news article stated that in times of economic downturn, the time and energy any person spent looking for another job can be exhausting. And not finding one can cause a sense of hopelessness. I get that too, as I applied for 300 different counseling jobs at the time I received my doctorate. The timing was honestly the worst as government funding had been cut to all major institutions for higher education.

That made sense to me. I understood hopelessness. Major surgery in 2000 left me feeling like attempting anything more than getting well was overwhelming. Then, after the events of 9/11, my seminar business ground to a halt quickly. I refused to give up finding a passion that could also make me financially successful. I had to keep asking myself, “What’s Next?” every time I wanted to quit.

What Next to Be Financially Successful?

If people could not come to us, we would go to the people, and the Academy for Coaching Parents International forged ahead to offer other entrepreneurs and nurturers the chance to work at home and be available to their children. Many have become financially successful entrepreneurs.

I had cultivated optimism well, and I would need it.

In January of 2013, all of the fifteen websites associated with my books, coach training and wellness crashed when the hosting server ignored my pleas to examine my site. I asked myself a hundred times if throwing in the towel was the right move.

One of my mentors for the Academy whose book I was ghostwriting was a self-made multimillionaire. When I asked how he went from being a physical education teacher to a millionaire, he encouraged me to focus one hour a day on the marketing of the Academy for Coaching Parents. He explained that focused attention on an object has an exponential effect – in short, what you focus on manifests. That was his secret and soon became mine also. Focusing on the act of creating something new provides a different perspective from those around you.

Focus on the formation of a financially successful business like the Academy brought out strengths that were waiting to be used again. Resilience surfaced and opened the door to passion, which fueled more focus. That kind of discussion moves helplessness out of the way, making room for hope, creativity, and of course, more focus, and eventually financially success in the role!

By now if you have decided to become a financially successful parent coach, but you want to explore the possibilities, we might have something for you.

Explore the coach training programs and decide for yourself, the best training course which aligns with your passion.

 

 

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