Stubborn children test your patience and parenting skills to the limit on a regular basis. Is this just part of raising children? All children go through at least two stages of being stubborn. Stage one is the “terrible twos,” when they learn to say “no” and then learn “yes.” The teen years is also when they say “no” as they practice making mature choices.
If a doctor has diagnosed your child as having ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), you will encounter similar issues. Differences between the two diagnoses relate to the frequency and the severity due to the cause of the defiant behavior.
To understand the child’s problems and being able to develop suitable plans and consequences are the first steps for parents. Whether your child experiences the stubborn stages, dealing with ODD, or has another major issue, address the problem early. In fact, at the first sign of rebellious behavior, teach and modeling acceptable ways to react and respond.
Next is an example of a conversation between a stepmother, whose 12-year-old stepson came to live with his dad, the new stepmom, and and younger sister.
Stepmother: Can I help you get settled into your room?
Stepson: You’re not my mother, and you never will be.
Stepmother: You are right. I am not your mother, I am your dad’s wife, your stepmother. I asked if I could help you get settled.
Stepson: You’re a liar. You don’t want to help. By the way, I do my own laundry and I cook my own food.
Stepmother: All right, let’s back this conversation to the beginning. If you are going to live here, we have some rules about respect. We show respect in our action and words. You don’t get to call me a liar, and I don’t get to call you a liar. Can you live with that rule?
This stepmom felt that this boy was begging for some attention, for some rules. He wanted to know if he was welcome in their home. Several weeks passed before the stepson settled into accepting that he was in a new home with people who would love him, but also not let him fall into his defensive anger.
Strategies To Help You Handle Stubbornness
The first approach is asking why a child behaves the way he or she does? Understand that you, as the parent, can best understand explosive behavior as a form of developmental delay. Dr. Ross Green, the author of The Explosive Child, suggests that the following questions will help parents see more clearly the crux of the problem.
This child acts this way because…
How come what works for other kids isn’t working for this child?
What can I do instead?
Build a sound basis. Parents start teaching expected life skills at the earliest ages.
Brainstorm. Write down your best ideas that might help solve the problem.
Consider the pros and cons of each possible solution.
Which of the possible solutions seems likely to work?
Plan out the solution step-by-step: What? When? How?
Refuse to bargain: Kids use bargaining to make several points: get out of chores, make a break or cut a deal. Children learn to accept the consequences of their choices and behaviors.
Reinforce the positive: Reward their positive behaviors. Point out when your child completes a job and has done it well. Support and praise a thoughtful decision. The power of positively deserved praise cannot be under-rated.
If you feel like your child’s behavior drives you crazy sometimes, you are not alone. Each of us has felt the same. Often, children’s misbehavior and tantrums effectively irritate others when you are tired, rushed, stressed, or worried. This is particularly true if you could not seem to correct such misbehavior.
Misbehavior Is A Message
If you are facing this kind of problem, begin the approach to solving it by treating the misbehavior as a message. Your child definitely is trying to tell you something he could not easily and effectively express.
Understanding your child’s misbehavior could help you discern and decipher what exactly it is he is trying to say to you. He has goals for misbehaving the way he does.
Through comprehending misbehavior, you could help yourself curb any unlikely or bratty behavior of your child so you could eventually enjoy a better and stronger relationship. Here are some guidelines that could help you going.
Be The First One To Reach Out
Nobody ever said parenting is an easy and smooth task. More frequently, parents find it hard, difficult, and frustrating to handle their children. If you have problems with your child’s behavior, it would help a lot if you would reach out. Anyway, if you would not take the effort to do so, who would? If you find yourself resisting the idea on principle, then drop the resistance. Reach out to your child.
Controlling Behaviors Is Controlling Your Responses Also
First, understand that misbehavior is every child’s creative and scheming approach to seek and catch attention. You may start curbing it by evaluating and determining how you actually feel and react if he misbehaves. Your child may be continuously acting out if he sees you are irritated and annoyed.
To make a good start, try to ignore the bad behavior even for once. Give her more attention every time she behaves more appropriately. This could be your creative way of telling her that the best way to catch your attention is through behaving properly.
Don’t Show Or Use Your Anger-That is Detrimental
Try not to show anger whenever your child misbehaves. You may send him the wrong signal. If you get irritated or annoyed, try your best to be as calm and as pleasant as possible. This way, you are removing yourself totally from the conflict. The moment she calms down, encourage your child to talk and tell you what it is he likes. Then, try to set logical consequences for his misbehavior (but be careful not to make it look and sound like actual punishments).
Always have patience. There is no need to feel helpless no matter how difficult the situation could be. As an adult, show the child that you are mature and knowledgeable enough in handling the situation.
Keep on talking to your child during his calm moments so you could settle and resolve whatever differences you may have with each other. Understanding your child may not be simple, but you could always succeed with determination and practices responses. Foster a healthy and open relationship with your child and make yourself approachable at all times.
It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach and begin providing compassionate coaching. You receive the trusted training you need to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey of helping others in a very rewarding career
Coaching for Conscious Parenting
Many people in this world were born with an innate gift that they didn’t know they had until they started noticing what happens to people who come around them. There is a special sparkle in people that can turn a sad, stressed, or insecure person into a happy, relaxed, and confident one through their empathy, warmth, and positive energy.
A Career Fit for a Humanitarian
Humanitarians have this special gift, as they are the nurturers, the ones that aren’t selfish and thrive on having compassion for others. If you feel like this description reminds you of yourself, then become a certified parenting coach. With your gifts to promote healing in others, you are a parent’s support system. Being able to communicate with parents that are suffering from a learning curve with new baby, or for the parents that try their best but struggle with dealing with a child’s unpredictable behavior.
Parent Coaching Certification
A certified parenting coach is a kind and compassionate resources that parents call when they need help. Guidance through some of the most common parental issues on a day-to-day basis is needed. It’s not to say they’re bad parents. Everyone needs to extend an arm and reach out when some situations seem unfamiliar or too much to handle.
Helping Families Through Divorce
Being a certified parenting coach comes with an excellent opportunity to offer support for parents that are going through a painful divorce, and are trying to learn how to be a single parent, or even learn to co-parent with the former spouse. Another great way for a certified parenting coach to offer support is during family trauma when everyone is too stressed to focus on their well-being, much less another family member.
The certified parent coach can come in and be the ears for the parent to clear the air. Or they can ask the parent questions to open the lines of communication. A helpful plan or individual strategy can be implemented in releasing some of the stress during the traumatic situation.
Flexibility is Key to Being a Successful Parenting Coach
A certified parenting coach needs to be flexible for the parent’s schedule involving day or evening hours and to be around for months at a time. A certified parent coach will not only improve the lives of their clients, but also empower their professional and personal life. Working from home is a terrific way to earn money in a field that allows you to inspire others and yourself along with connecting with like-minded people, who make new friends easily.
A Rewarding Career Filled with Compassionate People
By becoming a certified parenting coach, you will receive the experience of contentment that comes with making an impactful difference in the world. Teaching other parents positive, conscious parenting skills can be passed on to the next generation in their family.
Having the freedom of running a business solely centered around your compassion for helping others while continuing with an ongoing support will be self-rewarding. Be a part of an inspiring team of people who thrive in the teachings that motivate, uplift, and assist parents in creating a home that is filled with love, patience, understanding in a conscious environment.
Benefits of Training to Become Certified Parenting Coach
With a plethora of benefits to working from home aside from the excitement of working with no walls, you also get the freedom of a more work/home balance and a quieter atmosphere. The time that it would take to get to a physical job site can be spent working instead of sitting in traffic. Your office can be anywhere you want it to be from laying in a hammock with your laptop to sitting at your breakfast bar enjoying your coffee. Working in a remote setting has so many benefits while simultaneously helping other people with their lives.
Help a Family Build a Stronger Family Unit
A chance to change people’s lives is not something someone should take lightly. Such work can be the foundation of improving the quality of a family unit. Think what happens when a parent does not reach out. They might have taken an entirely different path with unwanted consequences. Be there to help a family take the right path.To make the best choices in building a strong family unit is crucial.
The feeling is incredible to help a family unit based on respect, compassion, understanding and willingness to create the best family bond possible. Be that special someone a family can count on. Likewise, fulfill your calling. Your gift is such an intrinsic part of who you are as a person, that it will leave you feeling proud of yourself.
Helping Parents Break Unhealthy Habits
Some parents fear that their childhood traumas will interfere with how they raise their children. They fear repeating the mistakes their parents made and don’t want to detach themselves from a potentially strong bond. They need your help. Conscious Parenting is not a strict set of rules for parents to follow, but are beliefs about what our children need to develop and thrive.
Do you want to become a certified parenting coach and begin living the life you’d always dreamt of having?
Do you want to spend your time in a positive way…making the world a bit better by promoting human welfare?
Committing yourself to altruistic acts is not only beneficial to the recipient but your very own soul.
Take That Important Step To Become a Certified Parenting Coach
It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach. learn to offer compassionate coaching by receiving the trusted training to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey. Get started in a role of influencing parents and families through educating and coaching for a better heart-to-heart connection. Do you have what it takes for Coaching for Conscious Parenting? If yes, start today and share your gifts with others.
Recently, this coaching topic has been the target of a lot of jokes and demeaning cartoons. Many people have no realistic notion of what it is all about. Life coaching is more than assisting people to set and attain personal or professional goals.
As a life coach, my definition of life coaching is: catalyzing in others personally-desired changes they will make to create a lifestyle of their dreams…one that will work better for them.
In order to effectively do my job described above, I regularly make inquiries about the client. There is a difference between “questions” and “inquiries.” The former can be answered immediately after they are asked.
[tweetshare tweet=”Inquiries however, are designed to be thought about, deliberated upon and regularly reviewed by the client.” username=”parent_coach”]
Some of the best inquiries a qualified life coach can make are described below.
What would you like to gain by working with me as your life coach? In order to assist a client to attain their desired outcomes, it becomes important in life coaching to know what those outcomes are
How can you modify your thinking and behavior so that you increase the probability those outcomes occur? One definition of “insanity” is engaging in the same behavior over and over while thinking the outcomes will be different.
What new thinking habits, emotional habits, behavioral habits or social habits are you willing to develop that will increase the likelihood your lifestyle will be different three months (six months, a year, 10 years) from now? If you want to learn and practice new habits, you need to practice them regularly for at least 3-4 weeks in order to make them “unconscious.”
What can you think, do or say today that will give you practice at strengthening those chosen new habits that replace the old ones? You can never “unlearn” the habits that created your current lifestyle. You can only learn and strengthen new habits that will replace engaging in the old ones! Th.is is the heart of life coaching.
What are some new choices and decisions you can make that will move you toward creating and enjoying the outcomes/consequences you want to incorporate into your new lifestyle? Despite making mistakes and engaging in unskilled behaviors, you might as well risk making new choices that you will enjoy.
With what kind of people will you surround yourself to be supportive of you as you create this new lifestyle? No one ever accomplishes important lifestyle changes without the support of others…even if such support is indirect or out of your awareness.
What are your current strengths, talents and abilities you can use or strengthen that will assist you in attaining your desired outcomes? If you are still alive, you already have some personal abilities that are useful in creating a modified or new lifestyle.
What new habits will result in:
A lower stress level;
A new sense of accomplishment;
A positive redefinition of negative experiences;
An ability to focus internally and lessen your “reactivity;”
An increase in your awareness of the consequences of your choices;
A lessening of your fears and anxieties;
Developing beneficial and enjoyable social and interpersonal relationships;
Developing your happiness and enjoyment about being alive.
If you would like to explore the above inquiries, you just might want to receive assistance from a qualified and experienced life coach…despite all the jokes you may have heard.
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Dr. Thomas is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified life coach. He is on the faculty of the International University of Professional Studies. He is the co-author of the book, “Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills, and Techniques to Enhance Your Practice…and Your Life” (W. W. Norton, 2005). He leads seminars/workshops on: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy; Life Coaching; Business Coaching; Creativity; Academic Excellence; Creating High-Quality Relationships; Effective Communication; Effective Leadership and many others.