In interviewing Elizabeth about being a parenting coach, she asked, “But who would listen to me? What if I can’t connect to a client?”
Her questions were valid, and they also revealed low self-worth. This thinking could keep Elizabeth from achieving important goals and becoming all that she desired to be.
- Do you feel that you’re not good enough for people to pay you?
- Do you underestimate that your insight could have a positive influence on others?
- Have self-worth issues affected your friendships or personal relationships?
Many of our unworthy feelings might come from what we experienced in childhood or from negative life experiences as an adult. Have you dealt with low esteem at some point in your life? Or have low self-worth issues affected your choices? Upset your relationships? Then to improve your self-worth and gain confidence as a parent coach or a family consultant, try these three steps.
Step Out: Visit with a friend, who is also a parent, and ask his or her permission to speak up. Tihs is your practice session:
- “I’ve observed Ian’s behavior, and I have a suggestion to increase your results in getting him to sleep. Does that work for you?”
- “I’d like to suggest that…”
- “Can I practice coaching you as a parent…”
How much is an in-depth coaching session worth to you?
You Can Change
Why do you feel you don’t deserve a fair price for your work efforts? You can change that mindset. You can overcome your doubt. One way is to create new habits like these, for instance:
- Practice offering suggestions to friends several times a week. They key is to ask their permission or to ask how you can help?
- You can mentally reprogram those negative voices with positive ones so that you feel worthy of earning and gaining wealth.
Don’t I Have To Be an Expert?
When Elizabeth asked this question, she explained that she felt a lack of coaching experience. This problem is common for many of us until we get our feet wet.
Like Elizabeth, we have to remember which urgent feeling inside led to the place of wanting to build a business. The typical answer is that we are here to help others, provide connection and communication that serves the higher good.
Over time, Elizabeth felt assured that her listening skills would carry the coach-client conversation until she thought to add her two cents. And she was a patient listener, who learned to speak up and ask more question,s when she felt the client needed insight. At last, she had moved beyond feeling unworthy and needing to prove herself.
Sometimes, like Elizabeth, an entrepreneurial coach has a desire to learn and a passion for helping. Being honest with people who seek advice is another virtue that entrepreneurs need to cultivate, rather than advise or guess at answers. Or, offer to find solutions, which is how Linda grew in her confidence.
Grow Into Your Confidence
We want to feel good about ourselves. When we are confident, we feel better emotionally and mentally, and this reflects positively on our behaviors and improves our quality of life, from personal relationships to our professional endeavors.
Thus, whatever helps boost our self-confidence is good for us. One of the best ways to do this is by exercising regularly. Exercise is not only good for self-assurance but has excellent health benefits.
So how can exercise boost self-confidence? Try these steps, perhaps one every other day, to have a new experience of confidence.
A Step in Building Your Self Confidence
Your confidence is the accumulation of all your reactions to the experiences that life brought you. Many factors contribute to the personal understanding of confidence.
One determining influence is how right are the circumstances of your life. Do you tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations? In the process, the losses could become too painful, and you eventually suffer the effects of lower self-confidence.
On the other hand, if you rely more on playing safe and creating more achievable goals that are easier to attain, then you act with confidence. Also, achievements add to the development of self-confidence.
People, especially those with low self-worth like Elizabeth, benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing well. They should strive to gain the confidence.
You may already have heard the phrase, “It is all in your mind.” The statement is true for some psychological and emotional conditions that have mental roots. Thus, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don’t want. You can suppress emotions, and in the process, you help feelings materialize. To deepen your confidence, watching your thoughts and the words you say are how you grow in awareness. What you speak are not mere words, but concepts that dug deep within and integrated into your being. If you believe in these phrases, then there is no way that you won’t understand their direct opposite expressions.
Central to building self-confidence is one’s belief about self, much like Elizabeth’s honest statements. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. The motivation to change must come from you. You start with talking to yourself using positive statements. Self-talk research shows that you do not have to believe in such statements. However, saying, thinking, or reading the statements do sink in and have a positive effect.
You, the confident, can change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.
I went against the advice of my mentors. As a family coach or parenting consultant, you build your brand by deciding who you want to be as a business person. Can you envision the person you will be in the future and make that your goal, while following your own heart?
In the process of developing a personal brand, most entrepreneurs set goals around time, or earnings, or marketing methods. Their profile or persona is the first step.
Decide who you want to be. When I founded the Academy for Coaching Parents International, both of my mentors told me up front to hire an assistant to handle email, answer queries, and keep up with the enrolled students. They explained the purpose for this was to give me a lot of free time. Wow! The advice was not what I expected.
In deciding who I wanted to be, I chose this description: A professional mentor with heart, who supports ACPI students through compassionate guidance and coaching to succeed in their business goals in becoming a certified parenting coach. Not only am I personally involved in my business, but I also answer phone calls, emails, and make personal queries to each student and support them through weekly phone calls.
When you build your brand, the best choice is to be yourself. There is only one, unique you, and the vision of who you are in business refers to who you want to be in the future.
- Where do you want to live?
- How do you see yourself?
- What do you see yourself doing?
- What are your goals?
Dream about different futures to choose from the possibilities. Try on potentialities to see which ones fit best. It’s a necessary process. Decide through the dreaming to build your brand that’s right for you and take affirmative steps to turn that dream into reality. The process involves a certain amount of decisionmaking, some mental toughness and the ability to look at your goals realistically.
- You see, there is a difference between a dream and a goal.
- The dream is tentative. The goal is firm.
- The dream is a possibility. The goal should be a probability.
- The dream is subject to change. The goal is not.
These are important differences. They are also differences that many people don’t recognize or, even worse, choose to ignore. Take a cold, hard look at the dream that you’ve selected to be your goal. Look at the ins and outs. Don’t avoid looking at the bad. If you don’t weigh the good points against the bad, you’re going to be in for either a rude awakening when you reach your goal or disappointment when you don’t.
When you set firm goals as the final step, you have accomplished the first three steps to build your brand.
- Envision possibilities or your role or who you will be as a business owner.
- Choose your persona and write it out for reference when you lose focus.
- Accept that you are the brand and build your brand products and services on that foundation.
The confidence of knowing where you’re going translates into personal stability. Your personal security, in turn, translates into higher acceptance of your brand over time. When your customers trust you, they also believe in your brand. After all, you are your brand.