Behavioral Regulation-1-Through-Family-Play

“Play is a uniquely adaptive act, not subordinate to some other adaptive act; but with a special function of its own in human experience.”

Johan Huizinga

Families with children with behavioral disorders...

...may not remember how to play, have fun, and spend peaceful times with each other. Rather, energy is spent in repeating relationships.

When I step in to coach this type of family, who have forgotten, the concept of joy and family time is often painfully absent. Rather, focus is shaped amidst the turmoil and enormous energy spent caring for a child with difficult behaviors.

As parents practice new skills to calm their internal landscapes as well as the environments of their homes, they must also re-learn how to have fun. A vital part of healing the family is reintroducing fun, connective activities, joy and humor into the schedule. A new module in the Coaching Families With Special Needs In Behavioral Regulation provides practical information to help coaches and parents co-create a plan for repairing relationships through family fun.

The other day, when I was in town, I witnessed a shocking event. A funeral procession was slowly making its way down Main Street.. The hearse appeared to have engine trouble at the top of the hill. Suddenly, the back doors of the hearse burst open, and the coffin flew out the back of the vehicle! A few people screamed as the coffin skidded down the street and crashed into a pharmacy at the bottom of the hill. Remarkably, it came to a stop right in front of the pharmacist’s desk. In a flash the lid popped open, and the guy inside asked the pharmacist, “Doctor, doctor! Can you give me something to stop this awful coffin?”

NOTE: What just happened in your brain and body?

Some significant processes occurred in your neurophysiology that have the power to alter not only the way you feel, but also your perception and outlook on past, present, and future situations.

How does the joke relate to self-regulation and repairing family relationships?

[ctt template="5" link="ueYc6" via="yes" ]Laughter IS the best medicine. No, really! It’s true. We had a decent laugh over the joke I just told, and each of you are still benefiting from its effects. @parent_coach[/ctt]

Laughter and humor cause the brain to release ‘feel-good’ endorphins that flood  bodies and minds with well-being. Laughter causes us to breathe deeper and fills our lungs and bodies with stress busting oxygen. The wonderful combination of endorphins and oxygen culminates in a feeling of happiness.

Studies conducted by the Mayo Clinic as recently as 2013, show that laughter and smiling relieves depression, anxiety, and helps the body to produce natural painkillers. Additionally, positive self-affirming thoughts, release neuropeptides that improve our immune systems and help us fight stress. This strikes at the heart of our topic.

Neuropeptides make it easier for us to cope in difficult situations. Here are the chemical reactions we WANT to occur more regularly in the brains and bodies of disorganized and dysregulated families and children. This is just the prescription families need to coax them back to emotional balance and relationship; only, they do not know if you are a parenting coach, who arrives to model and teach this concept.

[ctt template="5" link="bza94" via="yes" ]Now, here is the challenge. How do you coach the long-suffering, overwhelmed parents to initiate a plan to have fun while they are still suffering the after effects of secondary trauma and high stress? @parent_coach[/ctt]

 

Here are some of the challenges you face.

  • Some parents do not believe they will ever have fun or smile again.
  • Others ache to smile light-heartedly and long to regain some of their previous carefree lives.
  • Some parents have convinced themselves that a strict schedule where the child accounts for every minute of the day is the only sane way to keep their child on the straight and narrow; therefore, they do not have time for fun.
  • Others are resentful and angry because of the extreme difficulties a behavioral child brings to the family dynamic, resulting in radical changes in lifestyle.
  • Parents, brothers and sisters have learned to live compartmentalized and disjointed lives in the chaos and conflict that sometimes ensues when living with a child with disruptive behaviors.

All of these caregivers may believe the simple pleasures of life are long lost. It is likely that none of them know how to break current ingrained negative patterns of interacting and bring family together again in playful ways.

Been There Too!

Referring to my personal experience, I recall feeling old, tired, depleted, and played out. (No pun intended!) However, the words of George Bernard Shaw are appropriate here:, “We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”

We know that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and this is true for parents and kids alike. The ramifications of a life without the emotional glue of experiencing happiness, love and joyful interactions with those persons who mean the most to us are profoundly limiting.

So, how do we draw our hard pressed and pressured caregivers out of their old paradigms and beliefs and into the lighter side of life? Here is the four step secret formula to help families begin to have fun together, even while dark clouds linger.

  1. Administer fun in small measured daily doses.
  2. Monitor frequently for signs of heightened stress or conflict.
  3. Troubleshoot prevention, intervention, and exit and salvage strategies with parents should activities show signs of spiraling downward.
  4. Reflection of the effects on each family member is encouraged.

See also Behavioral Regulation 2 and Behavioral Regulation 3

 

Enroll Now in Coaching Families with Special Needs in Behavior Regulation

Family Consultants Coach Communication Skills

. How we parents communicate and demonstrate conversations with our children speaks louder than any intention or goal. A parent coach or family consultant trains parents and family members in communications skills. How are your communications skills?

 

Not Like This

"Caron, speak up." My father screamed. Other statements he used were....

"Quit mumbling. Stop mumbling. You are driving me nuts."

"Quit mumbling. 

My father was a man with a hearing loss, probably acquired from his stent of service in the second world war. He boasted how he was lucky to be alive despite the shard of metal in his brain. He drank a lot which often resulted in being a happy drunk until he couldn't hear what one of his children said. Then, his short fuse resulted in the not-so-nice screaming bout.

The story of my father demonstrates how truly important establishing two-way communication within families is. Two-way communication implies two people are speaking, but also listening, as well as respecting, opinions and solutions. Two-way communication suggests that listening receives as much respect as speaking. 

Communication styles are characterized by the way people want to appear and be heard:

  • People want to look (or attempt to appear) a certain way when communicating. For example, it was necessary to my father that he raised his voice and corrected me because he was the "boss." 

 Unclear, poor communication leaves family members unhappy and lonely. If your communication skills are lacking, then a family member may be miserable and feel alone. These tips can help you improve the opportunities for being heard, speaking your truth, and inviting conversations with your children. 

Ten Right-Way Communication Skills for the Home 

Fostering a more favorable environment in your home includes offering opportunities for discussions and space for disagreements, Try these communication strategies

1. Be open and honest with one another. While being honest, be kind when saying something that may cause a family member any distress. Children are more receptive to calm voices, kind words, and tone of voice, but then, isn't everyone? 

2. Have some fun each day. Family fun doesn't have to take up a lot of time. It can be as simple as having ice cream cones or playing with your pets. Simple tasks or rituals make a significant difference in how the communication flows in a home, mainly when people are engaged in functions together. 

3. Set priorities for chores that everyone must do. Agree on who does what chores and when they should do them, so everyone participates in age-appropriate tasks. Write them on a chore chart ahead of time to prevent arguments! 

4. Keep privacy boundaries. Adults and kids both need their privacy on a regular basis. Ensure that the kids understand the importance of respecting this priority.

5. Have a family meeting each week to discuss family issues. Find a time in which everyone in the family can attend. Hold the meeting every week, preferably at the same time. In the meeting, let each family member speak their mind, even if it's a complaint. Solve challenges, run ideas by each other, and make plans for the future together.

6. Allow free time. Everyone needs some time to do things on their own or with their friends.  Meeting this need will help each family member feel more satisfied, fulfilled, and open to communicating.

7. Spend holidays and special events together as a family. Strengthen your family bond with special occasion family traditions. Let the kids share their ideas about the occasion, too.

8. Establish a weekly family night. Make time just to enjoy being together. Watch movies, play games, or have story time. Encourage laughter and open communication.

9. Learn to negotiate. Learning to compromise and come up with win-win solutions for everyone involved is a priceless skill that will serve your family members well throughout their lives.

10. Say, "I love you." Each day, remember to show your spouse and kids how much you love them. Share loving, encouraging words and hugs freely throughout the day - even if it's a hard day, especially if it's a hard day!)

A happy home promotes a supportive place to live, play, and look forward to the future! A comfortable home welcomes your loved ones when they return from work or other outings. They can leave the stresses of the outside world behind as they enter the warm sanctuary of home. Practice these communication strategies to create an inviting environment in your home because you shape the foundation for your child's ability to get along in life. 

Fulfill Your Calling and Train as a Family Coach

Coaching Families

Many parents have told ACPI family coaches that understanding how their core temperaments clashed with their child's developing traits was a profound experience.

My Role Is...

The certified family coach or consultant is an upbeat example and influence in assisting families today. Coaching Families could include defining their values, creating a family crest, making communication maps, or establishing family meetings. Coaching families could include systematizing the routines that help family member enjoy each other more.

The coaches define:

  1. The roles they wish to offer families,
  2. How to design the family-coach agreement,
  3. Their personal brand, strengths, and their coaching tools,
  4. Discuss their ideas of how coaching with families looks and works

Coaching Skills

The skills for coaching families received through ACPI training include:

  • Knowing personal core values
  • Knowing core temperaments traits
  • Demonstrating how you recognize core temperament patterns in your life.
  • Demonstrating why this is a foundation for your coaching skills
  • Demonstrating why this knowledge is beneficial in working with a family member or members, and how it empowers your ability to coach people.
  • Determine family needs – time management? Financial planning? De-stress times? Prioritize values and family decisions.
  • Coaching through discipline issues

Certified Family Coach Information

Parenting Coach and Conscious Parenting

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach and begin providing compassionate coaching. You receive the trusted training you need to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey of helping others in a very rewarding career

Coaching for Conscious Parenting

Many people in this world were born with an innate gift that they didn't know they had until they started noticing what happens to people who come around them. There is a special sparkle in people that can turn a sad, stressed, or insecure person into a happy, relaxed, and confident one through their empathy, warmth, and positive energy.

A Career Fit for a Humanitarian

Humanitarians have this special gift, as they are the nurturers, the ones that aren't selfish and thrive on having compassion for others. If you feel like this description reminds you of yourself, then become a certified parenting coach. With your gifts to promote healing in others, you are a parent's support system. Being able to communicate with parents that are suffering from a learning curve with new baby, or for the parents that try their best but struggle with dealing with a child's unpredictable behavior.

Parent Coaching Certification

A certified parenting coach is a kind and compassionate resources that parents call when they need help. Guidance through some of the most common parental issues on a day-to-day basis is needed. It's not to say they're bad parents. Everyone needs to extend an arm and reach out when some situations seem unfamiliar or too much to handle.

Helping Families Through Divorce

Being a certified parenting coach comes with an excellent opportunity to offer support for parents that are going through a painful divorce, and are trying to learn how to be a single parent, or even learn to co-parent with the former spouse. Another great way for a certified parenting coach to offer support is during family trauma when everyone is too stressed to focus on their well-being, much less another family member.

The certified parent coach can come in and be the ears for the parent to clear the air. Or they can ask the parent questions to open the lines of communication. A helpful plan or individual strategy can be implemented in releasing some of the stress during the traumatic situation.

Flexibility is Key to Being a Successful Parenting Coach

A certified parenting coach needs to be flexible for the parent's schedule involving day or evening hours and to be around for months at a time. A certified parent coach will not only improve the lives of their clients, but also empower their professional and personal life. Working from home is a terrific way to earn money in a field that allows you to inspire others and yourself along with connecting with like-minded people, who make new friends easily.

A Rewarding Career Filled with Compassionate People

By becoming a certified parenting coach, you will receive the experience of contentment that comes with making an impactful difference in the world. Teaching other parents positive, conscious parenting skills can be passed on to the next generation in their family.

Having the freedom of running a business solely centered around your compassion for helping others while continuing with an ongoing support will be self-rewarding. Be a part of an inspiring team of people who thrive in the teachings that motivate, uplift, and assist parents in creating a home that is filled with love, patience, understanding in a conscious environment.

Benefits of Training to Become Certified Parenting Coach

With a plethora of benefits to working from home aside from the excitement of working with no walls, you also get the freedom of a more work/home balance and a quieter atmosphere. The time that it would take to get to a physical job site can be spent working instead of sitting in traffic. Your office can be anywhere you want it to be from laying in a hammock with your laptop to sitting at your breakfast bar enjoying your coffee. Working in a remote setting has so many benefits while simultaneously helping other people with their lives.

Help a Family Build a Stronger Family Unit

A chance to change people's lives is not something someone should take lightly. Such work can be the foundation of improving the quality of a family unit. Think what happens when a parent does not reach out. They might have taken an entirely different path with unwanted consequences. Be there to help a family take the right path.To make the best choices in building a strong family unit is crucial.

The feeling is incredible to help a family unit based on respect, compassion, understanding and willingness to create the best family bond possible. Be that special someone a family can count on. Likewise, fulfill your calling.  Your gift is such an intrinsic part of who you are as a person, that it will leave you feeling proud of yourself.

Helping Parents Break Unhealthy Habits

Some parents fear that their childhood traumas will interfere with how they raise their children. They fear repeating the mistakes their parents made and don't want to detach themselves from a potentially strong bond. They need your help. Conscious Parenting is not a strict set of rules for parents to follow, but are beliefs about what our children need to develop and thrive.

  • Do you want to become a certified parenting coach and begin living the life you'd always dreamt of having?
  • Do you want to spend your time in a positive way...making the world a bit better by promoting human welfare?
  • Committing yourself to altruistic acts is not only beneficial to the recipient but your very own soul.

Take That Important Step To Become a Certified Parenting Coach

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach. learn to offer compassionate coaching by receiving the trusted training to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey. Get started in a role of influencing parents and families through educating and coaching for a better heart-to-heart connection. Do you have what it takes for Coaching for Conscious Parenting? If yes, start today and share your gifts with others.

 

Become a Certified Parent-Family Coach

Coaching Online–Attracting Clients

Making money online with your coaching business means you will need clients. Attracting those clients could be difficult, but with practice the process can become easier.

Attracting Clients

Step 1 – Know Your Target Market

Narrow down your target market. Don’t try to get just any client. Choose a specific group or area of expertise that fit those people you want to coach or work with.  Shape your message to serve this specific segment. Use the words they use for emotional topics or soft skills, Talk about the specific benefits you offer that provides solutions to their challenges.

Examples of target markets:

  • Realtors who are faced with a lot of competition in a slow market.
  • Hair salon owners wanting to find a way to stand out among other salons or who are overwhelmed with their work.
  • Parenting coaches choosing to work with a special needs segment of the school population.
  • A Family Coach who want to coach mothers and children through the divorce process.

Can you begin to see how attracting clients is your task and focus most every day. An this process could be automated. 

Step 2 – Have confidence in your coaching service

Show you believe in your services and value your time in everything you say and do. Clients will see your value as well. How do you act or speak with confidence? Do you speak about how you offer services? Then switch the discussion to the vapes and emotional benefits your clients feel and experience when they work with you. 

Step 3 – Connect with prospects    

When talking to prospects, really listen and connect with them. Let them that feel you understand. Take the time to let your prospective clients know you as a person. Become known as someone who is friendly, helpful and willing to go the extra mile.

Step 4 – Be where they gather

Go to the forums, meetings and social media outlets where your prospective clients are hanging out. Interact with them. Network with them at events.

Step 5 – Show yourself as the expert

Get your knowledge out among the crowd by answering questions and helping others in the places where your clients are gathering. Write articles and books on your niche. Use social media as a way to create a buzz around your coaching business. Use Twitter, Facebook and your own blog to help spread the word about your services. 

Volunteer to speak at networking events and conferences to build your reputation as an expert. Choose Facebook Live as a venue for coaching or educating prospective clients. Ask for testimonials from current clients to build your authority. Form alliances with other coaches and people in your niche.

Step 6 – Ask for referrals

Ask your current and past clients for referrals. Everyone knows of a friend, colleague or family member who might be a good fit for your services.

Step 7 – Create a compelling marketing message

Your marketing message, tagline and elevator speech should grab the attention of prospects and make them want to call you.

Step 8 – Create your services package

Package your services, what you offer and what you know into courses and systems that make the prospective client take notice and want to work with you. Your coaching packages should be positioned so they sell themselves also apart from packaged programs.

Step 9 – Create a marketing plancoach-training-global

Create a specific plan to help you reach your prospective clients. Don’t put all your eggs in the same basket. Use several different types of marketing. For example, some methods that a parenting coach might use to become better known in their community would be to

  • offer a free parenting talk at the local library
  • write for a local parenting newspaper, to magazine

 

Step 10 – Learn to close the sale

Once you have attracted your ideal client, age next step is making a sale. To do that, learn how to close the sale properly so you don’t scare a person away or leave them hanging by not providing the next step. 

Attracting your ideal client gets easier the more you do it. Spending time in the right places and using the right marketing plan can help.