Groundwork: Coaching Families with Special Needs-Guest Post

Early Behavioral Theories

By Deborah Beasley

The groundwork that laid the early theories for our current understanding of treating, and parenting children with emotional, psychological, and developmental disorders is about 60 years old. [ctt template="5" link="9SWqh" via="yes" ]In the last thirty years, research in the areas of trauma, stress, PTSD, and the child’s developing brain has intensified through the dedication of the superstars of the world of trauma, children, and affect-regulation @parent_coach[/ctt]

Noteworthy names include:

John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, for their work in early parent child attachment. (Download John-Bowlby link for PDF.)

Allen Shore for his extensive contemporary work in affect-regulation

Peter Levine, Bruce Perry, and Bessel van der Kolk for their unstoppable research and discovery in the effects of trauma on the neurobiological and social-emotional development of children.

Their collective, groundbreaking, work is the sound philosophy of this training, backed by the science of neurobiology and neuropsychology.

[ctt template="5" link="RK_37" via="yes" ]We now know that the healing path for children and families with emotional and behavioral difficulties rests on the firm foundation of these principles: @parent_coach[/ctt]

 

1. Healthy relationship and attachment between the parent and child as its pivotal point.

2. Understanding affect-regulation and brain development as the fulcrum of healing in the family.

Our relationship-focused model combines the best strategies and methods of all other approaches. The results we seek in this coaching/parenting model are

• To support and maintain a healthy relationship between the parent and child and unity in the family.

• To respect the unique cultural differences in family composition, and

• To identify and build upon the individual strengths and qualities of parent and child.

This model uses the best practices of current behavioral, cognitive, sensorimotor and interpersonal approaches, as well as traditional wisdom and related modern science, to create a path to healing which best fits the circumstances and behavioral needs of individual families. We use what is usable within the context of a healing relationship and discard the rest.

Are you a kind of person who wants to help families with special needs by becoming a parent coach but you don’t know how to become a parent coach?

Register for our coaching families with special needs course and become a certified parent coach.

coaching families with special needs course

 

Behavioral Regulation-1-Through-Family-Play

“Play is a uniquely adaptive act, not subordinate to some other adaptive act; but with a special function of its own in human experience.”

Johan Huizinga

Families with children with behavioral disorders...

...may not remember how to play, have fun, and spend peaceful times with each other. Rather, energy is spent in repeating relationships.

When I step in to coach this type of family, who have forgotten, the concept of joy and family time is often painfully absent. Rather, focus is shaped amidst the turmoil and enormous energy spent caring for a child with difficult behaviors.

As parents practice new skills to calm their internal landscapes as well as the environments of their homes, they must also re-learn how to have fun. A vital part of healing the family is reintroducing fun, connective activities, joy and humor into the schedule. A new module in the Coaching Families With Special Needs In Behavioral Regulation provides practical information to help coaches and parents co-create a plan for repairing relationships through family fun.

The other day, when I was in town, I witnessed a shocking event. A funeral procession was slowly making its way down Main Street.. The hearse appeared to have engine trouble at the top of the hill. Suddenly, the back doors of the hearse burst open, and the coffin flew out the back of the vehicle! A few people screamed as the coffin skidded down the street and crashed into a pharmacy at the bottom of the hill. Remarkably, it came to a stop right in front of the pharmacist’s desk. In a flash the lid popped open, and the guy inside asked the pharmacist, “Doctor, doctor! Can you give me something to stop this awful coffin?”

NOTE: What just happened in your brain and body?

Some significant processes occurred in your neurophysiology that have the power to alter not only the way you feel, but also your perception and outlook on past, present, and future situations.

How does the joke relate to self-regulation and repairing family relationships?

[ctt template="5" link="ueYc6" via="yes" ]Laughter IS the best medicine. No, really! It’s true. We had a decent laugh over the joke I just told, and each of you are still benefiting from its effects. @parent_coach[/ctt]

Laughter and humor cause the brain to release ‘feel-good’ endorphins that flood  bodies and minds with well-being. Laughter causes us to breathe deeper and fills our lungs and bodies with stress busting oxygen. The wonderful combination of endorphins and oxygen culminates in a feeling of happiness.

Studies conducted by the Mayo Clinic as recently as 2013, show that laughter and smiling relieves depression, anxiety, and helps the body to produce natural painkillers. Additionally, positive self-affirming thoughts, release neuropeptides that improve our immune systems and help us fight stress. This strikes at the heart of our topic.

Neuropeptides make it easier for us to cope in difficult situations. Here are the chemical reactions we WANT to occur more regularly in the brains and bodies of disorganized and dysregulated families and children. This is just the prescription families need to coax them back to emotional balance and relationship; only, they do not know if you are a parenting coach, who arrives to model and teach this concept.

[ctt template="5" link="bza94" via="yes" ]Now, here is the challenge. How do you coach the long-suffering, overwhelmed parents to initiate a plan to have fun while they are still suffering the after effects of secondary trauma and high stress? @parent_coach[/ctt]

 

Here are some of the challenges you face.

  • Some parents do not believe they will ever have fun or smile again.
  • Others ache to smile light-heartedly and long to regain some of their previous carefree lives.
  • Some parents have convinced themselves that a strict schedule where the child accounts for every minute of the day is the only sane way to keep their child on the straight and narrow; therefore, they do not have time for fun.
  • Others are resentful and angry because of the extreme difficulties a behavioral child brings to the family dynamic, resulting in radical changes in lifestyle.
  • Parents, brothers and sisters have learned to live compartmentalized and disjointed lives in the chaos and conflict that sometimes ensues when living with a child with disruptive behaviors.

All of these caregivers may believe the simple pleasures of life are long lost. It is likely that none of them know how to break current ingrained negative patterns of interacting and bring family together again in playful ways.

Been There Too!

Referring to my personal experience, I recall feeling old, tired, depleted, and played out. (No pun intended!) However, the words of George Bernard Shaw are appropriate here:, “We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”

We know that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and this is true for parents and kids alike. The ramifications of a life without the emotional glue of experiencing happiness, love and joyful interactions with those persons who mean the most to us are profoundly limiting.

So, how do we draw our hard pressed and pressured caregivers out of their old paradigms and beliefs and into the lighter side of life? Here is the four step secret formula to help families begin to have fun together, even while dark clouds linger.

  1. Administer fun in small measured daily doses.
  2. Monitor frequently for signs of heightened stress or conflict.
  3. Troubleshoot prevention, intervention, and exit and salvage strategies with parents should activities show signs of spiraling downward.
  4. Reflection of the effects on each family member is encouraged.

See also Behavioral Regulation 2 and Behavioral Regulation 3

 

Enroll Now in Coaching Families with Special Needs in Behavior Regulation

Ten Tips to Deal with Changes in Your Life

 Consultants and coaches supporting people through life changes can use these tips.

1. Acceptance
The largest and most necessary step to change is acceptance. Life events always change, and expecting and accepting that premise helps us cope more readily. My friend Louisa received a diagnosis of cancer.  Through the support of her family and friends, she coped well during the treatment sessions. All of us, who supported her healing journey, were grateful that she was not embarrassed to ask for help. She gladly allowed our small acts of kindness to ease her path. Louisa got over feeling guilty when asking for help, and I got over reminding her that I was there to support her. 

2. Learn to Shift Out of Your Comfort Zone
Does it seem that changes occur as soon as you are comfortable or set in a routine? Most likely, you don't expect a major change  if your guard is down.   

Download this resource now:

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

3. Talk About Your Feelings Towards Change
If you tend to let things build up inside, choose now to stop that habit. You may be a person who doesn't like to share personal feelings. Or you might be embarrassed to share them.  If the changes are at work, for instance, consider talking to your manager about the impact of those changes.  Present your concerns in a professional manner and stick to purposeful breathing which helps you feeling angry or overwhelmed. 

4. Try to Turn the Change in Your Favor
The phrase turn lemons into lemonade has widely been overused. However, it’s hard to deny the meaning of it and the impact of that meaning. If you are dealing with change, in one form or another, see what angles you can use to make it work to your benefit.

5. Keep Changes You Can Control to a Minimum
If you try to enact too many changes at once, it may overwhelm the people who are affected by them. People need time to absorb those changes and incorporate them into their lives.  Sometimes, the changes you put into place may be out of your control. However,  if you do have control over them, introducing them slowly over time helps those who affected to adjust and accept more easily. 

6. Join Support Groups
If you have been affected by changes and needed to talk to another person, then you know that we need each others' support. This is so true when death or a long-term illness occurs. Are the types of changes you experience similar to others' experiences. Would a support group help in adjusting? 

7. Trust Your Instincts
You may be forced into situations or decisions that go against what you believe.. If you find yourself in such a situation, it’s best to go with your gut or trust your instincts. If the change doesn’t feel right and you have no power to counter it, try to remove yourself from the situation. I have counseled others in tough situations, and solutions varied from changing jobs to taking time from work and seeking another person to help you clarify your vision and feelings. If you need help, seek it out. 

8. Change Can Lead to Unforeseen Opportunities
The whole point of being able to deal with change effectively is acceptance. When you start to focus on change being something that is good, opportunities have a way of finding you. These opportunities may not have presented themselves had the changes not occurred.

What Is Parent Coaching?

   "I'll tell you about Parent Coaching. You have to have a plan and it has to be a plan that works.  You should not settle for the mediocre in life.  Coaching helps you set goals.  I collaborate with my clients.  I am on their side.  As a coach, I help and strategize with my clients so they can achieve their goals.  Coaching is about personal evolution, vision, what’s next, what’s now, and moving forward. It’s about having standards, not settling for the mediocre in life, but looking and feeling your best.  ~ Annemarie Brown~

Parent Coaching

Parent Coaching focuses on listening, empathizing, asking questions and sharing the love. Imagine how relieved frustrated parents will be to have someone listen and clarify the problem they feel.
The feeling is very personal, very individual. Some parents want to "teach" their children. Other want to "discipline" their children. These words become confusing and don't realize...
How empowered they are or how powerful they appear to their children.
People can turn their problems around.  They can be whatever they want.  They can have whatever they want. Coaching is about that process.  You help them, and it is an incredible job.
Coaches review a client’s strengths and focus on them. The medical/psychological establishment focuses on problems and pathology.
We look at wellness and not what is broken.  If a coach finds an actual pathology, the coach refers that person to a psychologist or other appropriate specialist.  Troubled persons with long-standing problems may not think rationally, and that is why coaches refer them to appropriate professionals for their healing. 
In coaching, the model is that the client is whole and wants to achieve goals. The parent is open to advice, and discussion, and looking to the future, not the past.
The clients who employ coaches are healthy and happy people who want to improve their lives. They want to go from good parents to better parents.
Are you ready to help families going through a difficult time?
Or help people be competent and make parents happy?
Then enroll in the parent-family coaching program and receive two certificates for coaching parents and for coaching families. 

Parenting Coach and Conscious Parenting

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach and begin providing compassionate coaching. You receive the trusted training you need to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey of helping others in a very rewarding career

Coaching for Conscious Parenting

Many people in this world were born with an innate gift that they didn't know they had until they started noticing what happens to people who come around them. There is a special sparkle in people that can turn a sad, stressed, or insecure person into a happy, relaxed, and confident one through their empathy, warmth, and positive energy.

A Career Fit for a Humanitarian

Humanitarians have this special gift, as they are the nurturers, the ones that aren't selfish and thrive on having compassion for others. If you feel like this description reminds you of yourself, then become a certified parenting coach. With your gifts to promote healing in others, you are a parent's support system. Being able to communicate with parents that are suffering from a learning curve with new baby, or for the parents that try their best but struggle with dealing with a child's unpredictable behavior.

Parent Coaching Certification

A certified parenting coach is a kind and compassionate resources that parents call when they need help. Guidance through some of the most common parental issues on a day-to-day basis is needed. It's not to say they're bad parents. Everyone needs to extend an arm and reach out when some situations seem unfamiliar or too much to handle.

Helping Families Through Divorce

Being a certified parenting coach comes with an excellent opportunity to offer support for parents that are going through a painful divorce, and are trying to learn how to be a single parent, or even learn to co-parent with the former spouse. Another great way for a certified parenting coach to offer support is during family trauma when everyone is too stressed to focus on their well-being, much less another family member.

The certified parent coach can come in and be the ears for the parent to clear the air. Or they can ask the parent questions to open the lines of communication. A helpful plan or individual strategy can be implemented in releasing some of the stress during the traumatic situation.

Flexibility is Key to Being a Successful Parenting Coach

A certified parenting coach needs to be flexible for the parent's schedule involving day or evening hours and to be around for months at a time. A certified parent coach will not only improve the lives of their clients, but also empower their professional and personal life. Working from home is a terrific way to earn money in a field that allows you to inspire others and yourself along with connecting with like-minded people, who make new friends easily.

A Rewarding Career Filled with Compassionate People

By becoming a certified parenting coach, you will receive the experience of contentment that comes with making an impactful difference in the world. Teaching other parents positive, conscious parenting skills can be passed on to the next generation in their family.

Having the freedom of running a business solely centered around your compassion for helping others while continuing with an ongoing support will be self-rewarding. Be a part of an inspiring team of people who thrive in the teachings that motivate, uplift, and assist parents in creating a home that is filled with love, patience, understanding in a conscious environment.

Benefits of Training to Become Certified Parenting Coach

With a plethora of benefits to working from home aside from the excitement of working with no walls, you also get the freedom of a more work/home balance and a quieter atmosphere. The time that it would take to get to a physical job site can be spent working instead of sitting in traffic. Your office can be anywhere you want it to be from laying in a hammock with your laptop to sitting at your breakfast bar enjoying your coffee. Working in a remote setting has so many benefits while simultaneously helping other people with their lives.

Help a Family Build a Stronger Family Unit

A chance to change people's lives is not something someone should take lightly. Such work can be the foundation of improving the quality of a family unit. Think what happens when a parent does not reach out. They might have taken an entirely different path with unwanted consequences. Be there to help a family take the right path.To make the best choices in building a strong family unit is crucial.

The feeling is incredible to help a family unit based on respect, compassion, understanding and willingness to create the best family bond possible. Be that special someone a family can count on. Likewise, fulfill your calling.  Your gift is such an intrinsic part of who you are as a person, that it will leave you feeling proud of yourself.

Helping Parents Break Unhealthy Habits

Some parents fear that their childhood traumas will interfere with how they raise their children. They fear repeating the mistakes their parents made and don't want to detach themselves from a potentially strong bond. They need your help. Conscious Parenting is not a strict set of rules for parents to follow, but are beliefs about what our children need to develop and thrive.

  • Do you want to become a certified parenting coach and begin living the life you'd always dreamt of having?
  • Do you want to spend your time in a positive way...making the world a bit better by promoting human welfare?
  • Committing yourself to altruistic acts is not only beneficial to the recipient but your very own soul.

Take That Important Step To Become a Certified Parenting Coach

It is the time to become a Certified Parent Coach. learn to offer compassionate coaching by receiving the trusted training to embark on an incredible, selfless, and conscious journey. Get started in a role of influencing parents and families through educating and coaching for a better heart-to-heart connection. Do you have what it takes for Coaching for Conscious Parenting? If yes, start today and share your gifts with others.

 

Become a Certified Parent-Family Coach