We have all fallen victim to erroneous thinking. Sometimes we use it on purpose to make ourselves feel better about making a bad choice. Well, defiant children know how to use them to. However, if the errors in thinking are not challenged, the pattern can be detrimental later in life.
Children don’t see things the same way that parents do. Without the benefit of years of experience, they act on emotion and instinct. In particular, defiant children want what they want and don’t mind using negative tactics to get it from parents. It is all about them. Instead of evaluating a situation to see all sides, they only consider how they feel. Children with mental disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder can get caught in a bad cycle. They start acting on these thinking errors and things spiral out of control from there. As long as you feed into their way of thinking with your behavior or responses, they will continue to manipulate, yell, scream, and terrorize others. The solution is to get help.
Thinking Errors Defiant Children Use
All of us have experienced erroneous thinking. Sometimes we use it on purpose to make ourselves feel better after making a wrong choice. However, one habit of defiantchildren is using such thinking errors as excuses or reasons for their desires or behaviors. As parents and parenting coaches, our role would be to challenge the error-prone thinking, lest it becomes habitual.
The Mind of a Child
Children and parents don’t often see eye-to-eye. Children act on instinct and emotion. Parents respond from their years of experience. Children want what they want, and defiant kids and may use negative tactics to get what they want from you. Defiant children are absorbed in their needs. They are capable of knowing only how they feel at that moment, and they don’t evaluate a situation to see all sides. They haven’t matured to that point yet. Children, diagnosed with a mental health issue, can get caught in a negative cycle. They start acting on these thinking errors, and a situation can quickly spiral out of control. If you feed into the thinking errors, then you also get caught up in their behavior. They could continue manipulation through yelling and screaming.They could terrorize everyone around them. The solution is to get help.
Parents Know These Four Thinking Errors
The road to healing could be long; the first step is to understand your children.
The second phase is to know how they think.
The third step is to observe and understand how they get their way.
Injustice stance: This is the thought that the entire world is against the defiant child. When things don’t go their way, then nothing is fair, and they shouldn’ have to comply. This thinking translates into this kind of logic in your child’s head: “School sucks. Therefore, I don’t have to go.” A defiant child can also be passive-aggressive. If not heard, then moving too slowly in the morning means they get their way and stay home from school.
Pride in Negativity Stance: Defiant kids can convince themselves that they know more than their parents. Defiant kids are perfect for making their point in statements of which their parents aren’t aware. They could say a lot of hurtful words. They learned how to steal something, or how to take drugs, or how to play mature video games they shouldn’t be watching. Telling you that they don’t know what you are talking about is to make you feel stupid, or to feel hurt that they have one up on you.
Dishonesty Stance: Kids do lie and will continue if parents don’t catch them in the act and deal with the situation immediately. Any delay would be considered a victory scored by the defiant child. Defiant kids use lying, telling half-truths, and keeping secrets to deny that their bad behavior.
Victim Stance: As the last victim, a rebellious child blames someone else for what happens to them or for what they do. Even if they are the aggressor, the “other” person ís at fault always for what they had to say or what they did to victimize the defiant child. Recognize the methods that rebellious kids use to justify their behavior. Teach them and help them to change their way of thinking.
Are you struggling with a decision to become a parent coach? Do you wonder how to succeed with business training?
Entrepreneurship calls to the restless souls who want to serve as financially successful parent coaches. Like you might have questions, I questioned my own decision to start the Academy for Coaching Parents International.
I thoroughly grasp the hesitance in starting a new business and committing to its success–your success. However, one fact will always be sincere….
…In economic tough times, entrepreneurs flourish. Focusing that same worry about time and energy on developing a new service or filling a need in a community is worth your time and effort. You can become a financially successful entrepreneur in a relevant coaching business.
A recent news article stated that in times of economic downturn, the time and energy any person spent looking for another job can be exhausting. And not finding one can cause a sense of hopelessness. I get that too, as I applied for 300 different counseling jobs at the time I received my doctorate. The timing was honestly the worst as government funding had been cut to all major institutions for higher education.
That made sense to me. I understood hopelessness. Major surgery in 2000 left me feeling like attempting anything more than getting well was overwhelming. Then, after the events of 9/11, my seminar business ground to a halt quickly. I refused to give up finding a passion that could also make me financially successful. I had to keep asking myself, “What’s Next?” every time I wanted to quit.
What Next to Be Financially Successful?
If people could not come to us, we would go to the people, and the Academy for Coaching Parents International forged ahead to offer other entrepreneurs and nurturers the chance to work at home and be available to their children. Many have become financially successful entrepreneurs.
I had cultivated optimism well, and I would need it.
In January of 2013, all of the fifteen websites associated with my books, coach training and wellness crashed when the hosting server ignored my pleas to examine my site. I asked myself a hundred times if throwing in the towel was the right move.
One of my mentors for the Academy whose book I was ghostwriting was a self-made multimillionaire. When I asked how he went from being a physical education teacher to a millionaire, he encouraged me to focus one hour a day on the marketing of the Academy for Coaching Parents. He explained that focused attention on an object has an exponential effect – in short, what you focus on manifests. That was his secret and soon became mine also. Focusing on the act of creating something new provides a different perspective from those around you.
Focus on the formation of a financially successful business like the Academy brought out strengths that were waiting to be used again. Resilience surfaced and opened the door to passion, which fueled more focus. That kind of discussion moves helplessness out of the way, making room for hope, creativity, and of course, more focus, and eventually financially success in the role!
By now if you have decided to become a financially successful parent coach, but you want to explore the possibilities, we might have something for you.
How can a consultant or coach help us adjust our mindset for more positive outcomes? it is the half-full or half-empty glass kind of metaphor…
Negativity can discourage us:
add to our stress,
put a strain on our relationship,
make us less productive, and
reduce our overall happiness.
A positive mindset, on the other hand, has many benefits across our lives regarding our health, relationships, and careers.
But, how do you become more positive? Is it that simple? Take a moment to listen to this brief audio reminder:
Five steps to developing a more positive mindset:
1. Keep a thought journal
If you have a negative internal dialogue continually keeping you down, you need to take action to banish these thoughts. If you have difficulty identifying this negativity a simple first action can be keeping a thought journal. Write down a random sample of ideas in your mind about yourself, events, people around you, and other events that happen throughout your day.
Then analyze these thoughts by reviewing the journal every night and establishing your thought patterns towards a positive mindset.
Do specific events trigger your negative thoughts? Take note of these and the next time you face a triggering situation, review carefully how you are approaching it.
2. Banish negative self-talk
After keeping track of your thoughts for a week or two, you will notice how consuming your negative thoughts can be. The next step is to banish these all together. Next time you write down negative thoughts in your journal, rephrase the wording so that it becomes a neutral statement.
“Bob forgot to take out the trash again so I had to do it and it ruined my evening.”
“Bob forgot to take out the trash. I did it. instead.”
This step is a small but effective way to train yourself. Don’t do this exercise only on paper or in your journal. Begin to rephrase your negative thoughts into neutral phrases in your mind. The practice will become automatic and significantly reduces your anxiety.
3. See the positive side
To jump straight from negative into positive thoughts is a challenge and the reason why the neutral-thought stage is crucial. By banishing negative self-talk, you are in an excellent position to see different, genuine positivity in situations.
Refer back to your thought journal and examine again the negative thoughts you have had. For each negative view, can you transform it into at least one positive, upbeat equivalent?
For example, if you dislike a person because they speak poorly to you, think about how you are developing more resilience. What is the positive from that contrary position?
It can be hard to find benefits within challenging circumstances, but there is always a way to see something good.
As the Dalai Lama once said, “See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” Sometime, a lot of effort might be required, but it’s worth it!
4. Keep a gratitude journal
A gratitude journal is an incredible way to take stock of all of the beautiful things around you. Every evening you write down the sound, positive aspects of your day. In general, what are you grateful for and why?
Perhaps you are grateful to your friends for their support, for the warm bed where you sleep well, or for the great weather you had that day. Write down all the positives.
When I started a gratitude journal, I found my mind arguing with me and contradicting my positive statements. What I learned from exploring this is when I don’t sleep well, the mind complains the next day without fail. Further research indicated that this is a typical pattern, but few people recognize the link between lack of sleep and mental angst or complaints.
5. Learn your sleep habits
This is a sure-fire way to re-ground you, make you gain perspective and make you realize how insignificant that particular trigger may be in the larger scheme of things. Context is essential, so keep shifting your mind towards the positive.
Practicing these four simple thoughts can help you transform how you perceive the world around you. Positive perception has the power to change your life, improving your attitudes and the ways that you respond to stress triggers.[Be patient and keep working at positivity, as it has so many benefits for your life, so make the most of it!
Emotional resilienceenables you to bounce back after difficult experiences. Fortunately, this is a skill that you can develop to get through stressful times with greater ease.
Here are some of the benefits of becoming more emotionally resilient and a few strategies for developing this very helpful skill.
The Benefits of Becoming More Emotionally Resilient
Experience greater happiness. Adversity is to be expected but you can control your emotional reaction. By putting the best face on things, you’ll see the opportunities for learning and growth that come with challenging situations. A positive attitude will also help you recover from disappointments more quickly
.Make progress towards your life goals. Complications will arise throughout your life. Being flexible makes it easier to accept and surmount the obstacles that arise in your path. For example, if one scholarship fails to come through, explore other options for financing your college education.
Strengthen your relationships. People are naturally drawn to happy people. You’re likely to have more harmonious relationships if you can keep up your spirits. By contrast, depression often makes others feel like withdrawing.
Boost your self-esteem. Becoming more adaptable helps you accomplish more. In turn, those accomplishments and healthy relationships make you feel more confident.
Act responsibly. Under pressure, you may feel tempted to get angry or hurt or act out. Emotional resilience helps you to keep your composure and makes you less prone to saying something that you might regret.
Cultivating a calm mind helps your immune system keep you healthy. Studies show that managing stress can even help you maintain your cognitive functions as you age.
Methods for Becoming More Emotionally Resilient
Know your purpose in life. It’s a big endeavor, but discovering your purpose in life is fundamental to your ability to navigate challenges. A mission motivates you.
Set realistic goals and make specific plans. Some things are beyond your control, but smart planning can enhance your stability. Set goals you can achieve and break them down into easy steps.
Be aware of your emotions. If you can be mindful of what you’re feeling, you can give yourself permission to evaluate the situation before reacting. Moreover, deep breathing provides some time to see a constructive solution before getting angry, hurt, or being irrational.
Practice patience and persistence. Make a commitment to yourself to see things through even when difficulties arise. For example, if you get declined after one job interview, transfer your energies to the next opportunity.
Slow down. Sometimes you get more done by slowing down. Lack of sleep or perpetual multi-tasking can cause stress and irritating tension. Give yourself a break to refresh your brain and your body.
Act happy. Just trying to appear happier can help you lift your mood after a setback. Treat yourself to a funny movie or call a friend who helps you laugh.
Learn to ask for help. Make it easier for your loved ones to support you. Practice asking for help in a respectful manner while being specific about what you need.
Be generous. The more you give to others, the more likely they are to reciprocate in your time of need and the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Emotional resilience is a powerful asset for accomplishing more in life.
Do you have a plan for coaching procedures for your business? The most efficient ways to deliver new business strategies and increase your coaching income are the goals for this blog course.
Do you have a stand-alone coach training program?
Do you have a group coaching program you offer weekly or monthly?
If you already have these types of programs, then your clients might be ready for the in-depth one-to-one coaching program. The package is a “top of the funnel” offer when establishing coaching procedures.
Your clients would have read your free blog articles, perhaps participated in a group program, or enjoyed an online course. They know you and recognize your work. They know your value, and they’ll be more than willing to pay for continued access to you. Moreover, your business experiences make you the perfect person to work with other emerging, talented business women. Your next step is to formalize the coaching package and make it available for sale.
The real value of private coaching is the influence you have and the impact you make on the lives of those you coach. With group coaching or self-study programs, it’s difficult to know how many people are putting your expertise to work for them.
In a private coaching program, you’ll be connecting with clients one-on-one, and you’ll see what’s providing the most useful results. Private coaching offers a highly rewarding relationship for both you and your customers.
STEP ONE –>
“Get Clear on the Problem You Solve”
As with every aspect of your business, your private coaching package must be highly targeted to be successful. You cannot just hang out your virtual shingle, call yourself a coach, and expect clients to line up for an appointment. Rather, to position yourself as the expert you are, become crystal clear on exactly:
• WHAT you do • WHO you do it for • HOW you want to do it • WHICH emotional results and tangible changes can you offer and guarantee.
When you can articulate the exact problems, you solve and who you work with, it will be much easier to find your tribe and attract buyers for your program. For example, business coaches might focus on solving:
• Money mindset issues for women entrepreneurs • Brand development for health and wellness coaches • Marketing help for information product sellers • Outsourcing problems for online businesses • Life coaches solve different issues. • Dating coaches have their particular area of expertise. Executive coaches focus on C-level employees.
You have your sweet spot, too, and it’s probably easy to identify.
Specialized Niche: You already know your general area of expertise, whether it’s business, life, health, finance, parenting or personal growth.
Target Client Persona: Now think about who your favorite clients are. And if you don’t yet have clients, think about those you’ve helped in the past in any way—even if it’s through email or on social media.
• With whom did you most enjoy working? • What problems were you happiest to solve? • Which issues (and people) left you feeling frustrated and stressed out? • Those questions belong in your coaching package. • Who are your tribe members?These are the people for whom you’re building your 1:1 package.
Next, consider what this client’s biggest issue is. It’s your ideal client’s most pressing problem, the one she most needs to solve, and the one she will gladly pay to fix. Maybe her blog doesn’t get enough traffic. Perhaps her online dating profiles aren’t attracting her dream man. Or maybe her finances are out of control. Whatever the problem is, you have the answer and can help her find her answer. When you can craft a coaching package that gets results for your ideal client, you’ll have a winning program. People will line up to enroll.
EXERCISE: DESCRIBE YOUR IDEAL CLIENT
If you haven’t already done this exercise, spend some time defining your ideal customer. This exercise finalizes the coaching procedures you will put in place for automation. Explain everything you know about her, including her experience level, her dreams, her family life, her frustrations, her income, and anything else that will set her apart from millions of other potential clients. (Use additional sheets if needed.)
EXERCISE: STATE HER BIGGEST PROBLEM
Now that you’ve identified who your client is, the next steps are:
• Define her big issue concisely as possible, like • Struggles with self-esteem • Lacks confidence • Struggles to lose weight • Desires to explore relations