Good communication is a key to understanding your child better. Togther, parenting coaches and parents review the steps to maintaining a harmonious relationship that keeps the parent-child relationship healthier and flourishing.
Firstly, be genuinely familiar with your child's language especially during times of conflicts and confrontations.
Familiarize yourself with your child's words, the tone of voice, and emotional responsivity. Does the chid's speech tone suggest a specific emotion like anxiety, shyness, fear, or the need to dominate or be shy?
Secondly, learn how to accept the full range of your child's emotionality.
- How do you take the chid's overall behavior?
- Can you receive the emotions and feelings of your child?
- As you succeed in understanding his feelings, you are better able to guide him to express his unpleasant and unlikely feelings appropriately.
- Encourage a child's real feelings in conversation. Suppression of emotions and feelings are not healthy.
Thirdly, I have observed that not each parent shows a speaking child the courtesy of attention. Interrupting, bombarding the child with questions, or flinging anger and accusation signals that the child maintains her distance. Explain and make him realize that interrupting any speaker is considered rude by some adults.. This is also a way of instilling him some part of good values.
Fourthly, always be approachable. As much as possible, help your child know that she can approach you and not to hesitate to discuss any problem or requests. If the child realizes that open communication between him and you is always possible, imagine how much respect your child has for you!
Fifthly, ask questions so you gather further information, but not in an interrogating manner. Try to ask questions that solicit honest and direct answers from your child. How do you act and speak to your child, so that she feels confident with you.
Lastly, provide useful, helpful and assuring responses to your child's questions. Apply the principles of reflective listening. This way, you could have a clear and actual grasp of what it is your child is trying to tell you. Reflect on his words and the manner by which he talks. Understanding your child entails setting a good pattern of open communication between you both.
Sometimes you meet another person, and the two of you instantly click. You hit it off and keeping a conversation going becomes natural and effortless.
Other times, you meet someone and they either don’t leave an impression at all, or you can’t stand them from the start. The big question is what makes the difference? Why do we click with some people and not others?
The answer is rapport, which is defined as a harmonious relationship… people understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.
When we click with someone, we’re building rapport. We find some common ground, and that instantly connects us. Maybe we have kids the same age or enjoy gardening. Once you establish that connection, it is hard to break. Establishing rapport helps you be better at forging relationships with new clients or neighbors. You let your winning personality shine. This ensures you have that rapport with whoever you meet as often as possible.
Rapport actually starts by paying attention and listening intently. Play Sherlock Holmes and see what you can find out or deduce about the person across from you. Take a genuine interest in their passion and purpose. That’s all it takes to create that initial rapport, and your conversations and interactions will go that much smoother.
Then, you can choose to make the most of this initial connection and rapport. While this strategy may help you get your foot in the door, it’s up to you to treat a client or friend with honesty and respect and make sure that their needs are met. To continue a mutually beneficially relationship, keep in mind what value you provide for them going forward. In other words, clicking with another person is only the first step. It’s important because it gets the two of you off to a great start, but it’s not everything.
Parent coaching has all the right stuff. As a career, it offers flexibility, personal satisfaction, and unlimited earning potential. It is also one of the fastest growing home based businesses today. This makes it ideal for parents, career switchers, and retirees, but is it right for you?
Parent coaches come from all walks of life. They are teachers and therapists. They are mothers, fathers, and grandparents. They are former corporate leaders and nine-to-five refugees. They have in common an intense desire to help parents get the most out of family life.
"Coaching is solution-oriented," says seasoned parent and lifestyle coach Natalie Gahrmann. "It is not someone just guessing. It is, ´Tell me about the problem, then tell me what you are going to do about it.´ If you don´t know what to do about it, I can help you with that, but don´t tell me there is nothing you can do about it and you are stuck here as a victim."
Characteristics of a Good Parent Coaching
A successful coach/client partnership is built from the ground up and is essential to the entire coaching process. To help parents reach their personal or family goals, a coach must be able to develop a trusting and respectful relationship with the client. It is at this point that she can begin to chip away at the parent´s insecurity, which gives parents the confidence to handle problems and reach their desired goals.
"A parent coach is someone who partners with you to help you remove all your fears of parenting," says veteran parent coach Peggy Alvarado. "They help you gain the confidence to raise the type of children you always wished them to be."
Alvarado, a former software technology executive, believes that even though each person has a unique coaching style, there are certain characteristics all good parent coaches share. They include:
Inquisitiveness. Parent coaches must have an inquisitive nature. They need to be able to ask thoughtful questions that require action-oriented answers. "It isn´t just about listening," says Gahrmann. "It is also about being provocative and helping people get to a new place. I help people find their solutions, and together we come up with the action to do that."
Objectivity. Parent coaching is about maintaining objectivity when it comes to clients and their situations. Coaches are not friends who are called upon for unconditional support. They are people who you enlist to help you define your goals and help you devise an action plan to meet those goals. They are someone you depend on to see all the picture and support you in the decisions you make.
Assertiveness. Parent coaches must be assertive enough to challenge their clients and ask questions that demand answers. "There is a synergy that happens between people that helps come up with other solutions," says Gahrmann. "Some people say I can do A or B, and they are often opposite ends of the spectrum, but if I say well what if you do this, the next thing you know, they have ten choices in front of them."
Openness. Having an open nature is one of the greatest attributes any parent coach can have. Coaches are open-minded in regards to people, situations, and themselves. Coaches must be open to all people in all stages of life, but they also are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. They must realize that no one person can ever know everything or be the most non-judgmental or objective you can be.
Curiosity. Parent coaches are curious people and are interested in learning about their clients, their situations, and what resources and information are available to them. Coaches are continually working to find new approaches and solutions for their clients and themselves. They are always learning and interested in learning because parent coaching is a continuing education field. There are still ways to develop yourself and learn.
If you feel a calling to start a new profession as a trained and certified Parent Coach, visit parent-family coaching course page to understand how you can achieve this goal in six to nine months.
Your child becomes a teenager and parenting can suddenly turn into a frustrating experience. You are understanding your child from a different viewpoint in the circle of life. You could observe:
- That the harmony is gone in your relationship.
- You find yourself in disagreement with your child.
- You feel the so-called generation gap grew.
Yes, your child is changing, but the basic temperament is still there. Understanding your teen is still the key to having a harmonious relationship. These ten tips for understanding your teen and dealing with the new brain wiring will help you stay centered as a heartwise® parent.
While you used to pal around with your child when he or she was younger, you now have to set boundaries between your role as a parent or a friend.
1.Help stabilize the changes.
At this stage, you are primarily the circumspect parent who will listen, negotiate boundaries and behaviors, and stand steadfast in your expectations. Doing so helps stabilize all the changes the adolescent experiences. Friends can be found, but good parenting is a rare commodity these days.
2. Become Involved
Understanding your child as a teen means becoming involved while your schedule and life remain just as busy. Being involved is finding the time to be with them. Being involved means knowing where they are at all times and establishing communication protocols.
Even more important are the conversations about life your teen appreciates. These conversations open opportunities to understanding your child, as their thoughts and feelings change each day, disappear, and flare again: Listen to the what your child tells you about their life events. You will glean their thoughts and feelings so that they will be at ease coming to you if they are in trouble.
3. Train Teens in Accountability Skills
You as the parent, are responsible for preparing your child for adult life for as long as they live under your roof.
If they want something, exert the effort to achieve it or get it.
Being responsible for communication, earned expenses, and tasks is now their domain.
Money is not the important asset. Rather, qualities about handling money are what matters.
As a parent, you can help here by providing their allowance for completed jobs, but they must do their part. You are training them to survive in a competitive world.
4. Listen To Them
The teen years are crucial years for understanding your child. Teens expect you to hear them and decipher what they need or want. You may feel like judgments arise surrounding teen activities, finances, and studies. Don't worry because 99% of the job is listening to them and understanding what they want.
5. Explain Your Viewpoint
By letting teens know the reasons for any decisions you make, you empower them to make their choices. Offering them a reason, even if it considered lame by your teen, helps them review their personal choices. For example
Concern for their safety is why you establish a mutually agreed on curfew.
Your need to know where they are if they leave one place for a new destination requires a phone call to know they are safe and capable of holding their own among peers.
6. Tune In
Understanding your child occurs when you are
listening to their kind of music
keeping tabs on what activities they are involved in
Knowing the names of their friends
7. Be Flexible
Setting agreed-upon rules with your teen is always healthy. However, exceptions to rules always occur. Whether you are flexible enough to bend the rules requires discussion with your teen. Lay the groundwork for those instances when rules can be adjusted.
8. Share Your Interest With Your Child
Sharing interests with your child means you better understand them You learn together and share your experiences. You need to stay connected with your child through those teen arguments.
9. Keep Talking Even If Your Teen Is Not Listening
Teenagers do listen to their parents. While they may argue with you, your advice is well-entrenched in their minds. After all, you did raise them. Although they pretend passivity with what you say, the truth is that your advice has influence.
A Certified Parenting Coach is a trained professional who works with parents to solve problems, clarify goals, or find solutions to issues relating to parenting and family.
Parenting has never been easy. Among the children, their schooling, your spouse and other engagements, parenting could get complicated or overwhelming. The good news is you can make the best of parenting with the right assistance from a professional parenting coach.
A Certified Parenting Coach has completed professional training in the dynamics of coaching parents through coaching techniques, listening, as well as how to approach problem solving and structuring new situations for success. A parenting coach is not a therapist. He/she is a trained and experienced professional who uses strategy to assist parents in raising their children and maintaining balance in the family.
The bold difference between a parenting coach and a therapist is the status of parents or clients involved. Parents make a conscious and informed decision to receive assistance from a parenting coach. The aim is not to heal any broken spirits of the past, but to work together to develop more suitable parenting style, responses to daily dealings or solve problems in behavior, communication, or issues that arise.
How Does It Work?
The essence of coaching parents is to offer working solutions to families or parents experiencing some frustration. As children mature and become involved in different social circles, most parents experience frustrating times when the old rules or skills no longer work.
Most parenting problems include variations on these themes:
Parents with a short temper
Children who are disrespectful
Children who are stubborn or defiant
Lack of responsibility
Lack of discipline
Dealing with a divorce, separation or loss of a loved one
Whining or throwing tantrums, and so on
The challenges one could encounter as a parent are endless and sometimes take different forms as children grow up.
A parenting coach is a fast and effective way to manage and eliminate these issues. It all begins when you contact a certified parenting coach. Meetings or consultation can take place either through a detailed phone call conversation or a visit to your home to assess the situation.
During this time a parenting coach does two things for a parent in distress:
1. Listens effectively
The solution to every problem begins when shared. Being able to share your challenges with a kind and compassionate listener is the first step to getting rid of the problem. At this time the parent will feel relieved and supported.
2. Offer personalized solutions
After receiving a full brief of the issue, the parenting coach will be able to identify the problem and brainstorm possible solutions and strategies. This process also involves a series of steps.
First, the parenting coach will ask all necessary questions and provide insight into causes, effects and characteristics of the issue.
The next step can be to equip you with new information that will give you a deeper understanding and view a different perspective on the problem. Now, the once confused parents can begin to see new possibilities and solutions.
Finally, both parent and parenting coach collaborate to come up with ideas and strategies that are peculiar to your family and parenting issue.
Typical parent coaching methodology pays particular attention to helping parents regain confidence and authority in their parenting skills.
Within a few weeks of implementing new strategies and suggestions from your parenting coach, you will see some positive results.
In the end, parents become better equipped to perform their role, while children become accountable and responsible for their actions and life choices.
Benefits of a parenting coach
It is an effective way to seek assistance and discuss your parenting problems within a professional framework that eliminates the stigma of psychotherapy.
It is the best option for working or busy parents
It is an opportunity to broaden your knowledge of parenting.
It is an excellent career choice.
Why Does It Work?
Parent coaching is useful because its approach is constructive and personalized.
Remember that parent coaching is a team effort. A parent must be open to discussing the full length of the issue and trying new ideas.
Who Needs a Parenting Coach?
Some think that perhaps this option of a parenting coach is for parents who are failing in their role, and this is untrue.
Parent coaching is a choice made my parents, who know how vital their roles are in the lives of their children. It is for parents who are bold enough to seek help when they meet a roadblock in parenting.
It is for those who desire a focused and strategic means to solve various problems that parents often encounter with their child.
Who Can Be a Parenting Coach?
The thing about parenting is that it belongs to everyone. Professionals who feel called to serve parents and families respond to their calling. Parenting coaches share certain traits like enjoying working with children, youth and parents, crafting conversations, finding answers, and discussing discipline solutions
Also, if you are a parent or a child care provider, you can equally learn how to be more effective in your role.I have always believed in the full benefits of the profession of a parenting coach. The process of learning, practicing or consulting with a parenting coach presents equal opportunities for each of us to gain something profound easily.