. How we parents communicate and demonstrate conversations with our children speaks louder than any intention or goal. A parent coach or family consultant trains parents and family members in communications skills. How are your communications skills?
Not Like This
"Caron, speak up." My father screamed. Other statements he used were....
"Quit mumbling. Stop mumbling. You are driving me nuts."
My father was a man with a hearing loss, probably acquired from his stent of service in the second world war. He boasted how he was lucky to be alive despite the shard of metal in his brain. He drank a lot which often resulted in being a happy drunk until he couldn't hear what one of his children said. Then, his short fuse resulted in the not-so-nice screaming bout.
The story of my father demonstrates how truly important establishing two-way communication within families is. Two-way communication implies two people are speaking, but also listening, as well as respecting, opinions and solutions. Two-way communication suggests that listening receives as much respect as speaking.
Communication styles are characterized by the way people want to appear and be heard:
- People want to look (or attempt to appear) a certain way when communicating. For example, it was necessary to my father that he raised his voice and corrected me because he was the "boss."
Unclear, poor communication leaves family members unhappy and lonely. If your communication skills are lacking, then a family member may be miserable and feel alone. These tips can help you improve the opportunities for being heard, speaking your truth, and inviting conversations with your children.
Ten Right-Way Communication Skills for the Home
Fostering a more favorable environment in your home includes offering opportunities for discussions and space for disagreements, Try these communication strategies
1. Be open and honest with one another. While being honest, be kind when saying something that may cause a family member any distress. Children are more receptive to calm voices, kind words, and tone of voice, but then, isn't everyone?
2. Have some fun each day. Family fun doesn't have to take up a lot of time. It can be as simple as having ice cream cones or playing with your pets. Simple tasks or rituals make a significant difference in how the communication flows in a home, mainly when people are engaged in functions together.
3. Set priorities for chores that everyone must do. Agree on who does what chores and when they should do them, so everyone participates in age-appropriate tasks. Write them on a chore chart ahead of time to prevent arguments!
4. Keep privacy boundaries. Adults and kids both need their privacy on a regular basis. Ensure that the kids understand the importance of respecting this priority.
5. Have a family meeting each week to discuss family issues. Find a time in which everyone in the family can attend. Hold the meeting every week, preferably at the same time. In the meeting, let each family member speak their mind, even if it's a complaint. Solve challenges, run ideas by each other, and make plans for the future together.
6. Allow free time. Everyone needs some time to do things on their own or with their friends. Meeting this need will help each family member feel more satisfied, fulfilled, and open to communicating.
7. Spend holidays and special events together as a family. Strengthen your family bond with special occasion family traditions. Let the kids share their ideas about the occasion, too.
8. Establish a weekly family night. Make time just to enjoy being together. Watch movies, play games, or have story time. Encourage laughter and open communication.
9. Learn to negotiate. Learning to compromise and come up with win-win solutions for everyone involved is a priceless skill that will serve your family members well throughout their lives.
10. Say, "I love you." Each day, remember to show your spouse and kids how much you love them. Share loving, encouraging words and hugs freely throughout the day - even if it's a hard day, especially if it's a hard day!)
A happy home promotes a supportive place to live, play, and look forward to the future! A comfortable home welcomes your loved ones when they return from work or other outings. They can leave the stresses of the outside world behind as they enter the warm sanctuary of home. Practice these communication strategies to create an inviting environment in your home because you shape the foundation for your child's ability to get along in life.
Fulfill Your Calling and Train as a Family Coach
A Certified Parenting Coach is a trained professional who works with parents to solve problems, clarify goals, or find solutions to issues relating to parenting and family.
Parenting has never been easy. Among the children, their schooling, your spouse and other engagements, parenting could get complicated or overwhelming. The good news is you can make the best of parenting with the right assistance from a professional parenting coach.
A Certified Parenting Coach has completed professional training in the dynamics of coaching parents through coaching techniques, listening, as well as how to approach problem solving and structuring new situations for success. A parenting coach is not a therapist. He/she is a trained and experienced professional who uses strategy to assist parents in raising their children and maintaining balance in the family.
The bold difference between a parenting coach and a therapist is the status of parents or clients involved. Parents make a conscious and informed decision to receive assistance from a parenting coach. The aim is not to heal any broken spirits of the past, but to work together to develop more suitable parenting style, responses to daily dealings or solve problems in behavior, communication, or issues that arise.
How Does It Work?
The essence of coaching parents is to offer working solutions to families or parents experiencing some frustration. As children mature and become involved in different social circles, most parents experience frustrating times when the old rules or skills no longer work.
Most parenting problems include variations on these themes:
Parents with a short temper
Children who are disrespectful
Children who are stubborn or defiant
Lack of responsibility
Lack of discipline
Dealing with a divorce, separation or loss of a loved one
Whining or throwing tantrums, and so on
The challenges one could encounter as a parent are endless and sometimes take different forms as children grow up.
A parenting coach is a fast and effective way to manage and eliminate these issues. It all begins when you contact a certified parenting coach. Meetings or consultation can take place either through a detailed phone call conversation or a visit to your home to assess the situation.
During this time a parenting coach does two things for a parent in distress:
1. Listens effectively
The solution to every problem begins when shared. Being able to share your challenges with a kind and compassionate listener is the first step to getting rid of the problem. At this time the parent will feel relieved and supported.
2. Offer personalized solutions
After receiving a full brief of the issue, the parenting coach will be able to identify the problem and brainstorm possible solutions and strategies. This process also involves a series of steps.
First, the parenting coach will ask all necessary questions and provide insight into causes, effects and characteristics of the issue.
The next step can be to equip you with new information that will give you a deeper understanding and view a different perspective on the problem. Now, the once confused parents can begin to see new possibilities and solutions.
Finally, both parent and parenting coach collaborate to come up with ideas and strategies that are peculiar to your family and parenting issue.
Typical parent coaching methodology pays particular attention to helping parents regain confidence and authority in their parenting skills.
Within a few weeks of implementing new strategies and suggestions from your parenting coach, you will see some positive results.
In the end, parents become better equipped to perform their role, while children become accountable and responsible for their actions and life choices.
Benefits of a parenting coach
It is an effective way to seek assistance and discuss your parenting problems within a professional framework that eliminates the stigma of psychotherapy.
It is the best option for working or busy parents
It is an opportunity to broaden your knowledge of parenting.
It is an excellent career choice.
Why Does It Work?
Parent coaching is useful because its approach is constructive and personalized.
Remember that parent coaching is a team effort. A parent must be open to discussing the full length of the issue and trying new ideas.
Who Needs a Parenting Coach?
Some think that perhaps this option of a parenting coach is for parents who are failing in their role, and this is untrue.
Parent coaching is a choice made my parents, who know how vital their roles are in the lives of their children. It is for parents who are bold enough to seek help when they meet a roadblock in parenting.
It is for those who desire a focused and strategic means to solve various problems that parents often encounter with their child.
Who Can Be a Parenting Coach?
The thing about parenting is that it belongs to everyone. Professionals who feel called to serve parents and families respond to their calling. Parenting coaches share certain traits like enjoying working with children, youth and parents, crafting conversations, finding answers, and discussing discipline solutions
Also, if you are a parent or a child care provider, you can equally learn how to be more effective in your role.I have always believed in the full benefits of the profession of a parenting coach. The process of learning, practicing or consulting with a parenting coach presents equal opportunities for each of us to gain something profound easily.
Some people attract money. Others can't hold on to it. Still, others seem to have a money ceiling, especially people in helping professions.
Are you willing to stop how you limit money potential? Discover more...
"People perceive, value and treat money differently. But regardless of how you interact with it, money and your financial circumstances play a major role in your life. Money can provide security, freedom and power and lack of it can leave you feeling inadequate and trapped in undesirable circumstances." Christy Matta, M.A.
Three Reasons Why You Could Be Limiting Your Income
1. What Is In Your Head?
Your childhood consciousness absorbed so much of your parents and grandparents' money statements like a sponge. Go here to learn a strategy to discover your childhood statements that disrupt your relationship to money. What you absorbed from previous generations most likely is rooted in three emotions--fear, guilt, and anxiety.
I remember these money-related phrases from my father as he spoke to his four daughters through the years: One day you'll have a good man to take of you. You won't ever have to worry about money. Make sure you have a job of teaching to fall back on. You can put your birthday money in a savings account. You cannot spend it. Your mother is on a strict budget.
Please do not believe that trying to control your thoughts or changing your thoughts is going to change your relationship with money. Neither will affirmations although using affirmations provides a focus for the mental distraction from emotional reactions. Transformation of ingrained childhood beliefs takes more in-depth discovery on an emotional level! That is, the heart level!
2. What Is In Your Heart?
Those phrases your parents used, whether around fear, guilt, anxiety or joy may be all mixed up in your heart's emotional center.
- Begin by working with your feelings from the past. What were the parents' beliefs and words regarding money?
- Next, connect the past feelings to your emotional reactions in the present.
- The comparison reveals how you adapted to your parents' emotional swirls around income, spending, savings, and security.
- To change the financial situation, are you willing to review and claim all how you sabotage your financial stability?
The fault triggers are from childhood, and the money memories rise until YOU TAKE CHARGE!
Once you do, you'll feel free, energized and enthusiastic, and liberated
Money can symbolize power, security, an abundance of stuff, and even your very survival. The possible or actual loss of money is like a skilled swordsman who turns in circles to protect his back from the enemy who surrounds him.
Do you understand how these money matters create a constant stream of chronic stressors? Your reactions generate your partner's responses. If either of you reacts as if you are in a life-threatening situation, your survival instincts kick in.
Whoo! Emotional overload, fear of no money, survival threatened. That is when one or both of you go off to extreme actions. Stop it now and learn how to earn by maximizing your passion for profit.
"Teenagers are known for their angst and moodiness. You really can’t blame them with all that’s going on in their lives from physical changes and peer pressure to academic expectations and the formation of relationships." Tyler Jacobison (Twitter | Linkedin
Feeling moody and grouchy once in a while is normal. Trouble begins when these feelings become more intense, persisting for weeks, months or even longer. Teen depression is an uncomfortable reality in our society and it’s up to parents to support and help their affected teens.
Situational vs. Clinical Depression
You can help your child by first identifying the difference between situational and clinical depression, their causes and treatment methods.
Situational depression (also known as adjustment disorder) occurs in the aftermath of monumental or traumatic changes in an individual’s life. In teens, situational depression can be triggered by parents’ divorce, a breakup from a romantic relationship, death of a loved one, academic struggles or even moving to a new area. Keep in mind that situational depression is temporary and things should go back to normal once the stressors are removed or your teen learns to cope with them.
In the meantime though, their symptoms are very real and are similar to those of chronic depression. They include:
- Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, worthlessness or hopelessness.
- Changes in sleeping patterns –either difficulties in falling asleep or oversleeping.
- Changes in eating patterns, loss of appetite and weight changes.
- Loss of interest in hobbies, studies and life in general.
- Persistent lethargy and fatigue.
- Difficulties concentrating, making decisions or remembering tasks.
- Self-harming or suicide attempts.
Clinical depression, on the other hand, is more severe and is thought to be caused by a complex mix of brain chemical imbalances, genetic factors and social situations. It causes major long-term depressive symptoms that are pervasive enough to interfere with your teen’s daily life.
Different Treatment Approaches
The treatment your teen requires depends on the type of depression they have.
Managing Situational Depression
● Urge your teen to continue pursuing their hobbies and other leisure activities.
● Also, encourage them to eat a nutritionally well-balanced diet and get regular exercise to stimulate the production of dopamine to boost their mood.
● Joining a support group or talking out the situation with close friends and relatives can also help.
● If all else fails, seek the help of a trained psychotherapist.
Managing Clinical Depression
● Psychotherapy is a crucial part of helping your teen deal with clinical depression. Get feedback on their progress to ensure that the therapist you engage is the right fit.
● Appropriate medication in tandem with therapy will provide the best outcome for your teen. The medication might be for short or long-term use depending on the diagnosis.
● Hospitalization in a psychiatric facility might also be necessary especially if your teen is self-harming, suicidal or showing signs of delusion or psychosis.
With proper coaching, parents can learn responsive parenting skills that will help them discern behavioral issues that may predispose their teens to depression as well as learn how to assist their children to get over rough patches in their lives.
GUEST AUTHOR: Tyler Jacobson is a proud father, husband, writer and outreach specialist with experience helping parents and organizations that help troubled teen boys. Tyler has focused on helping through honest advice and humor on: modern day parenting, struggles in school, the impact of social media, addiction, mental disorders, and issues facing teenagers now. Follow Tyler on: Twitter | LinkedIn
How does a certified parenting coach hold the right mindset for the ideal clients they envision? Mindset: Focus on your client, not on you.
How You Think and Envision
When a new author writes a book, the author is filled with his or her personal story — it’s drama, it’s inspiration, and the need to have others learn from their experiences.
However, if the author wants to sell the book, he or she needs to know what the reader wants to read and ensure the book addresses that.
If a coach wants to sell services, the services or product must fulfill the client’s needs. The fulfillment is essential to demonstrate in your story, writing, advertising, and offerings. All of your marketing materials need to be client focused:
- About them — someone to listen to their story, not hear about yours
- About solving one of their issues — your book, story or brochure will tell how…
- About finding support — every word you write and every visual clue you use in a logo, color, design and copy reflects how you support them.
The New York Times best-read nonfiction books tend to be cookbooks, biographies of famous people, and how-to books on weight loss. If people are buying these books...
- Why are they doing so?
- What does a client want from a coach that is like a cookbook?
- A recipe, a formula, something that appeals to their appetites.
Remember who you are marketing to:
- A doer wants an achievement.
- A thinker wants the list of steps.
- The supporter who wants whatever is most practical, appealing and adaptable.
- The creative influencer wants to share the beauty with others and convince them of its benefits.
What does a coaching client want that is like a biography?
- The emotional connection to you.
- Small pieces of your life experience connect with their hearts and mind.
What does a coaching client crave?
- the answers
- the steps
- the hope
- the promise
- the guarantee
- the formula… …to their dilemma and solutions or strategies for the issues they deal with every day - the issues that overwhelm them or make them tired and edgy.
Successful coaches respond to the needs of their targeted clients just like an author who is writing a book for them. You answer their needs, provide the soul food they crave, and develop a heart connection. Then, you’ve got it! !