by Dr. Caron Goode | Sep 15, 2018 | Understanding Your Child
One sensitive issue parents contend with is their child's temperament. Understanding children's inborn traits is a key to better parenting and happier children, especially in the development years.
Before my daughter was born, I imagined her to be a specific type of a good-natured child. As she grew up, I realized my always viewing her as good-natured was a pre-conceived idea I had. Her childhood moods meandered through creative, sensitive, emotional, and even defiant in the early teen years. And she was good natured about most events in her life.
Understanding her temperament enabled me not to blame my self for her situations. Instead, I learned strategies to deal with difficult circumstances or conditions. One point of discipline I followed was to diffuse challenging situation so as not to escalate into major conflicts that might cause harm.
Temperament information helps you see how your child learns, responds, reacts, and behaves. Through the earlier years of development, you see reactions begin to form into a pattern of values, needs, and fears:
+++++ One child needs closeness, touch, and assurance from parents.Thus, he values following his parents, climbing in their laps and being cuddled or held.
His fear of not having the needs met, or when his needs are not met, he feels, hurt, lost, or angry.
+++++ Another youngster values being by herself--independence.
She plays with her dolls and likes doing so by herself.
Her need to learn through trial an error means that she pushes parents away sometimes with the familiar, "I can do it."
+++++ Children, who readily and quickly shift, show adaptive temperaments. They learn more by doing and practicing.
+++++ Children, who have slower-to-warm temperaments, learn by watching and rehearsing internally.
+++++ Children's challenging temperaments cause us to regroup:
- Ask what is the child going through?
- Is this a temperament trait or learned behavior that needs to change?
- Are the child's needs being met?
- Are fears causing issues?
- Has the child's value been diminished in any way?
Easy/Flexible Temperament
This child views the world through optimistic eyes, adapts quickly and maintains positivity well. He is a natural learner, eats and sleeps regularly (has no trouble sleeping), is pleasant and cheerful, and displays a low-intensity mood.
Because this child feels deeply in certain situations, he has few significant emotional outbursts. This type comprises about 40% of all people.
Feisty/Difficult/Spirited
The Feisty/Difficult/Spirited group of children comprises about 10% of the population. This grouping is the opposite of the flexible children. Feisty children are slow to adapt to the routines: napping, eating, homework, quiet time. Moreover, bowel movements are not regular. The spirited child has preferences for parents to discover and manage. On the hand, the child shows his mastery for specific tasks.
The feisty child has tantrums, is fussy, and can be unpleasant in disagreements. With high energy, this child explores with intensity and can get into mischief, On the other hand, he or she is bursting with energy and explores the surrounding and people intensely.
Slow-To-Warm Types
The third general temperament type is aptly called Slow-To-Warm, and 15% of the population belongs to this category. Slow to warm types are shy or highly-sensitive persons (which they sometimes are. They watch their world and usually observe on the outside of things before joining. Their internal clock is disrupted easily and shows up in irregular sleeping, feeding and other personal habits. This child seems to be always enjoying things or doing them at his own sweet pace.
The rest of the 35% of the population are combinations of several temperaments. They exhibit traits of all three temperament types and cannot be categorized into a single trait pattern. The feature they share is that they have characteristics of all three temperaments.
In all these temperament types, you will also find yours. Understanding children and their temperaments include understanding your own. Doing so will open your eyes to the many areas where you can connect to that of your children, or whether you are compatible with each other or not.
by Dr. Caron Goode | Jun 22, 2018 | Learn about Coaching
As a parenting coach or a family coach, you could help clients gain confidence in areas of life where they feel shy or untrained.
Empowering Confidence
1. To boost your success in life, focusing on your confidence will have the most significant impact on your personality. There is a strong correlation between self-confidence and success, so expanding how you think about yourself is an important goal. Every day, remember your strengths by repeating affirmations that highlight your gifts and talents.
2. Going along with the crowd is a more natural choice than standing alone. However, taking a stand is an essential part of building confidence. The next time you disagree with something, or your gut is telling you not to be swayed, speak up. Think for yourself and experience more confidence in your own beliefs and ideas, will help you expand as a person.
3. If you want to boost your confidence, learn from other fields. Think outside the box and consider starting a blog, taking a language course, or joining a theater group. You will learn new skills and meet interesting people that can help you achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.
4. Trust your gut. You have an intuition that is aligned with your specific values and beliefs. Trust that intuition, mainly when it is speaking loudly. It is likely right.
5. Look to others for inspiration. If you are working on empowering confidence (or any other personal development goal), get inspired by others who have strength in this area. Inspiring books, podcasts, and seminars can provide you with new ideas and keep you motivated to continue working toward your dreams.
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6. Remember that each experience teaches you a lesson. When you are building confidence, focus on what you have learned and how you can use that to grow. This will avoid negative energy dedicated to thoughts of failure or mistakes.
7. Embrace fear. By recognizing when you are afraid, you can start to manage your reaction to fear. Once you decide fear no longer has control over you, you can live confidently in pursuing your goals.
8. Focus on your body language. When your body language says you are confident and assertive, others will treat you differently. Manage your non-verbal cues to portray inner confidence, even if you are not entirely feeling so on the inside.
9. Practice resilience. When you focus on how you overcome adversity, you grow in empowering confidence. Try something you’ve never done before to see how well you handle new situations or learning experiences. What did you learn from your success or failure? If it didn’t go so well, work toward bouncing back quickly and shrugging it off. Practicing resilience will definitely help you gain more confidence in all aspects of your life.
10. Focus on your decisions. Making better decisions in your life will result in better outcomes and more confidence for you. Your choices should be based on what is important to you, your values, and your goals. Making decisions based on these things, versus others’ needs or beliefs, will shape your life in ways that make you happy and healthy.
11. Believe. A consistent belief in yourself and your choices is vital to growing and empowering confidence. Let go of your doubt and insecurity and focus on how you are working to achieve your goals. Optimistic thoughts are a strong predictor of success.
by Dr. Caron Goode | Apr 15, 2017 | You are an Entrepreneur
As a Nurturer, you might feel like you always have to be in the present moment. As a life coach or entrepreneur, your instinct alerts you to others' needs. These three coaching qualities are for you...that you will be balanced, get stuff done, and have a good time.
Self-Disciplined
Will Power-----Persistence-----Determination-----Purposeful-----Doggedness
One common trait of successful entrepreneurs is that they are masters of self-discipline. In the beginning, the motivated entrepreneur puts in the hours as well as the work to turn the business into a successful venture. The early stages are full of intrigue, which fosters further envisioning, planning and promoting outcomes. A high level of self-discipline helps you stick with a course of action through good and bad times. When the glamor fades, you won't enter a state of self-denial. You will know within your heart that you can achieve a much bigger reward, especially when it comes to finances.
Highly Confident
Optimistic-----Assertive-----Self-Reliant-----Certain-----Assured
What gets any coach entrepreneur through the day? A high level of confidence gives you that edge to finish the job irrespective of the state of the business.Significant challenges bring the best personal rewards to you. You stuck with it. You said yes to the part that gets discouraged. You have the compassion to know when to take a break from your intense focus. Your confidence as a coach entrepreneur lets you see opportunity where another business-person only stares failure in the face.
Highly Adaptable
Flexible-----Cooperative-----Versatile-----Accommodating-----Amenable
Business landscapes constantly change. Can you go with the flow? Would you want to be left behind? You don't always see what's ahead: a website crashes. You get sick. You overspend. You don't spend enough for leads or advertisement. These are the new waters that an entrepreneur navigates. Adaptability and intuition help you to cope and respond quickly in any situation. Being adaptable helps navigation.
by Dr. Caron Goode | Mar 30, 2017 | Mindset and Money
Getting Into The Right Mindset
1. Practice Careful Optimism
Having a positive mind and positive outlook are crucial to being successful in business. Optimism is th mindset of those who are able to maintain less stress and more happiness.Confidence drives entrepreneurs to move forward. But there is danger in sheer and pure optimism. Excessive optimism can make one overlook risks and potential pitfalls. By all means, avoid pitfalls. While approaching business with an optimistic mindset, you also have to acknowledge that there are risks that you must exercise carefulness.
2. Optimizing Your Focus
If doing a particular task takes you four times as long as somebody else, it might be a simple lack of concentration. Find a mindset or affirmation you like, and repeat it mentally. That is one way to focus your mindset. If sales goals, for example, motivate you, then put pictures of what you will purchase with the money around your office. That is visual stimulation for your optimal mindset.
Are you an achiever and motivated by accomplishing tasks, than use a pie chart to illustrate the work that needs to be done. Then, at set intervals erase pieces of the pie until it is empty. It might just be a matter of distractions. Don’t play music while you work. Turn the ringer off the phones. Don’t sit in front a window if you are distracted easily. Working smarter, not harder, is aboutpeak performance and peak focus. When you are working at your peak, you get more done in less time. Leaving you time to do more of what you love.
3. Practice Healthy Pessimism
People will tell you that negative thinking will get you no where. Yes, depression does breed fear, which can stop you from taking the necessary steps to be successful. But there is use in having a little bit of healthy pessimism. Having healthy pessimism means that you are astute enough to recognize the pitfalls and risks involved in your venture. However, you are not pessimistic enough so as to allow those insights to stop you. Instead, you are driven to come up with solutions to every risk and difficulty that you encounter.That is a winning mindset!
