Engage The Heart–The Brain Changes

Engage The Heart--The Brain Changes

We engage through the heart, connecting the child with their family and world through the power of a loving healing relationship. This is the Open Heart approach. Over time, as organization and regulation increase, the brain reformats and gets it. Much research concludes…

1. The role of the primary caregiver to assist the child in developing self-regulation far outweighs the influence of genetics or temperament.

[ctt template="5" link="Ic6qs" via="yes" ]2. However, it is the interaction of attachment and temperament that forms the working model of relationship between child and parent and parent and child. @parent_coach[/ctt]

In this course, you’ll be learning how the energy-dampening effect to behaviorally challenged children is a relationship-based approach.

Either parent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle, or others closely involved with the child can have the same positive impact on the child’s development, internal self-regulation, and the regulation of (emotion) affect.

Indeed, it does take a village to raise a child well. Through a relationship-based model, the caregiver facilitates what the child cannot, until the child is capable of accomplishing it by herself.

[ctt template="5" link="z5xfY" via="yes" ]The caregiver returns to the basics of an early parenting model when and where necessary to better meet their child’s needs through modeling, influencing, guiding, supporting, instructing, and monitoring the boundaries and expectations. I simply call this good parenting. @parent_coach[/ctt]

I loved my child before I ever saw her. I love my child still. I have a child with emotional and mental health problems. This is the child I love. This is the child I have. My daughter has the dubious distinction of being THE most discussed case history among therapists, behavioral assistants, and clinicians. One agency director informed me that she regularly uses my daughter’s case for training of her new case managers and therapists. It does not give a parent the warm fuzzies to hear repeatedly from mental health professionals, whom you look to for help, that your child’s case is the most difficult one they have ever seen.

These sentiments are my personal reflections.

They also match the experiences of some of the parents you will coach…parents, who struggle to move forward after facing the reality of one or more diagnoses like ADHD, Autism, Conduct disorder, Bipolar disorder. The effects on the family are the same. It triggers a parent’s worst nightmares.

[ctt template="5" link="XR801" via="yes" ]Concerns, fears, sleepless nights, and the search for answers begin. This is how a parent enters the world of mental health and special needs…a world where terminology is confusing and diagnoses sound like the unending combinations of an alphabet soup. @parent_coach[/ctt]

If care is not taken, a parent or teacher might begin to refer to the child by the labels of their diagnosis, and see in the child’s behaviors, both positive and negative, only symptoms of the same. As months or years of struggle pass, parents don’t differentiate which part of the behavior belongs to their child’s temperament, and which part is a symptom of the diagnosed condition.

Amid the onslaught of doctors, neurologists, medical tests, and therapists elucidating the deficits in their child’s development, parents easily lose sight of the child and concentrate on what they see most, the disorganized and dysregulated behavior.

The question that brings this home is simple: Which child do you see…one with special needs or one who is just plain special?

Preparing with Your Special Needs Child to Visit the Dentist

By Dr. Greg Grillo

As a dentist that works with special needs patients, I have personally seen how difficult a dental visit can be. However, with experience and cooperation with parents and guardians, I have also discovered how important preparation is for a special needs child to have the best dental visit possible.

When speaking to parents about their loved ones, there are some common elements that contribute to success at the dentist’s office. Good oral health and hygiene are essential to the well-being and success of any child and will pay dividends at the dentist office. I also suggest planned activity training - it has shown to be an effective means to prepare for an activity and will encourage good behavior. Another key is to find the right dentist; one that is compassionate and competent, one that has experience working with children with Autism or Down Syndrome.

What Is the Temperament of the Dentist?

dentistFinding the right temperament in the dentist is because you seek a practitioner who specializes in working wiht special needs children. Certified dentists have spent an additional 3 years learning how to properly care for your loved one. If you are unable to find a special needs dentist, ask your friends, ask your dentist, call around. Find someone that is receptive to treating your loved one. Finding someone that understands your child’s needs, establishes a good rapport, and is patient and receptive will make the experience more beneficial as well as more pleasant. Whether you find a special needs dentist or not, you are going to want to communicate with your dentist what needs your loved one has, and what to expect.

Applying “planned activity training” (PAT) to prepare your child for the hardship of the dentist will be helpful. Incorporating this approach broadly well before seeing the dentist will make the dentist seem less startling and uncomfortable. PAT is a way to communicate with your loved one what exactly they can expect. I encourage you to do research on this technique.

Practice Through Play at Home

Start by preparing the child mentally and physically. For especially difficult settings make sure they are well-fed, have had adequate sleep and have everything they need. Bring something pleasant to occupy them during downtime. Explain the activity and the rules of behavior for that activity. Without being deceitful, try to exclude or diminish the unsavory elements of going to the dentist. If the opportunity is there, perhaps allow your loved one to see you having your teeth cleaned so they will be more comfortable and understand that it is not a punishment, but something even you must do. Explain rewards they may expect for good behavior and try to give choices whenever possible to allow the child to have some degree of investment in the activity. For the dental visit, highlight the fact they could choose the flavor of their toothpaste perhaps. Applying this approach seems to make the experience more pleasant for everyone.

Establish Routines

If your loved one doesn’t already, establish routine brushing, flossing and the use of mouthwash as well. If your loved one has issues with these, do not force them, rather, consider teaching by example or incorporating positive reinforcement. Make dental hygiene a fun bonding experience. Make sure to comment on the benefits of brushing to protect their beautiful smile. Let them choose a flavor of mouthwash, toothpaste, and floss. Maybe play a favorite song of theirs to make it a more joyful activity and to cue when they have brushed long enough (a song around 2 mins). Make a fun activity out of oral hygiene and make that the routine. If they do not engage themselves, make yourself a visible and continual example and they are likely to join in. Once they begin to practice a good routine make sure you continue to reinforce their adherence to that routine, keep it fun and never diminish the accomplishment of maintaining a healthy mouth.

A happy child is a healthy child. Do not neglect or diminish the importance that oral health plays in the overall happiness of your loved one. With a proactive attitude, some effort and the right dentist, your child can benefit from a dental visit without a struggle.

For further information regarding dentistry for autistic patients, check out
https://www.emergencydentistsusa.com/autism-and-dental-care/

For downs syndrome,
https://www.emergencydentistsusa.com/down-syndrome-and-dental-care/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8875813

https://www.oumedicine.com/docs/ad-pediatrics-workfiles/planned-activities-training-parent-handout-booklet.pdf?sfvrsn=2

https://adayinourshoes.com/find-special-needs-dentist-ask/

https://www.innovativepediatricdentistry.com/dental-tips-for-parents-of-special-needs-children/

http://deltadentalazblog.com/dentistry-for-special-needs-7-tips-for-making-dentist-visits-less-stressful/

 

Dr. Greg spent graduated with honors from the School of Dentistry at the University of Washington. He joined the United States Navy and served for 4 years and then returned home to join the practice of his farther Dr. Jerry Grillo. Dr Greg enjoys working as a dentist, writing about dentistry and spending quality time with his family.

Parent Coaching Is An Empowerment Model

Parent Coaching is an  empowerment model to support a parent's finding their answers and solving their problems through coaching questions and conversations. This is in contrast to the psychotherapy areas.

Within the psychotherapy and counseling domains, a client employs a professional with a degree in psychology, counseling, or medicine. Often the sessions are held at the therapist’s office. An insurance company may pay the invoice.

Often the sessions are held at the therapist’s office. An insurance company may pay the invoice. This is a medical model:

  • The doctor or therapist has a  “practice"”
  • Is employed to treat people for their mental health issues or personality disorder.
  • A third party like insurance may cover the cost of these services.

In psychotherapy, the assumption is to treat the symptoms and underlying causes. For example, a client may enter psychotherapy because he gets into fights at work with his supervisors. After a few sessions in which he brings up his past and talks about his possible causes that contribute to the fights, the client realizes that he is repeating problems he had with his parents with his boss. In fact, he realizes that he has deliberately chosen a boss who reminds him of his father.

In Coaching

The underlying assumption in a coaching session is that the client is well and resourceful and can handle his or her life.

If this same client were to hire a coach, the coach would ask empowering questions and challenge his thinking about handling the boss issues. A coach does not delve into a client’s past, but focuses on the present time, issue or goal and future steps.

I was a licensed therapist, and I like coaching better. In coaching, the client is whole, resourceful, and ready for change. Yet, the model in therapy is that the client is broken. As a therapist, I used to only listen and never give my opinion. Sometimes I felt as if I could be replaced by a mannequin.”

…Mark Brandenberg

In coaching, the WHY is not as important! Coaches deal with the HOW.  Parent Coaches listen to goals, problems, or issues and with encouragement and expertise partner in discovering solutions or supporting transformations.

Therapy is about looking backwards. Coaching is about working with today. We deal with what is now.

… Jill Herman

Coaches review a client’s strengths and focus on them. The medical/psychological establishment focuses on problems and pathology. We look at wellness and not what is broken. If a coach finds a true pathology, the coach refers that person to a psychologist or other appropriate specialist. Troubled persons with long-standing problems may not think rationally and require a different therapeutic approach.

In parent coaching, the model is that the client is whole, healthy, and wants to achieve goals. He is open to discussion, brainstorming, and looking to the future, not the past.

Dr. Caron Goode

Dr. Caron Goode

Founder--Academy for Coaching Parents International

Understand the Top Traits to Be a Successful Entrepreneur-Join ACPI Now!

Successful entrepreneurs share several common features and traits, often developed through practice and perseverance. More than likely, you already have some of these traits if you explored becoming an entrepreneur. 

  • They Are Fearless – Few people are fearless. Most of us entrepreneurs, however,  learn to push through boundaries and accomplish results through the fear. Fearless refers to being bold, spunky, and courageous. When my colleagues learned I wanted to train parents to help each other through coaching, they concurred that the need was great. The idea of peer-to-parent-coaching was bantered about through many discussions.
  • They Make Actionable Plans – An entrepreneur makes plans that are actionable. Making plans, setting goals – that’s just part of the process. Doing is more important than any of that. When ACPI was discussed as a viable business, I had interviewed six people who had successful businesses, and their advice moved me forward to take action and devise a solid plan.
  • They Understand Cash FlowNew entrepreneurs think that income is an indicator of success. However, the truth is that businesses fail even with adequate cash flow. Cash flow management is a critical element in running a successful business. Work hard to understand cash flow needs to be consistent, and also develop an additional financial account for backup. Believe me, just knowing an amount is set aside for emergencies, will keep you from being overly stressed. You will feel creative and excited to see the business evolve. 
  • They Know It’s Not About Them – You’ve heard the cliche before - the customer is always first. A new entrepreneur feels this and learns to separate his wants and desires from the customers’ desires. The customer should drive your products, services, and even price point more than your passions and dreams. 
  • They Aren’t Afraid to Self-Promote – As an entrepreneur, you have to let go of shyness and promote yourself. Become the expert. Be known as thecertified parent coach “go to” person in your niche, You can’t get there if you are too afraid to be a self-promoter. Tip: Create something valuable that you’re proud of and it’ll be easy to promote it.
  • They Take Action – Entrepreneurs are doers in addition to being people with good ideas. They know how to put ideas into action. They’re good at identifying opportunities, being innovative, and creating value to implement the ideas. To take action you need a clear vision, and you must be willing to overcome obstacles that get in your way. 
  • They Understand That Change is Inevitable (and good) – Every business that exists today will not be here tomorrow. Think how the past technology as VHS tapes have evolved.   They don’t exist now, but businesses that kept their eye on the future adapted and started creating other types of storage like DVDs. 
  • They Listen – One skill that a successful entrepreneur has is the ability to listen to what their audience is saying. Open your ears and listen to other people’s ideas, listen to their criticisms and their desires.
  • They Keep Learning – Knowing how to research and evaluate the market, their customers and competitors is a very important skill that they have honed. It will help them avoid making errors, and they’ll know how to best promote it.

Developing an entrepreneurial mindset and building your personal, business skills move you forward to fully embrace success. 

9 Parent Tips to Teach Children to Manage Stress

Traditionally, many school-aged children love school and look forward to start of a new school year. But for other children, it’s also a time of great stress. In fact, stress—those overwhelming feelings of doubt about ourselves or our ability to handle things—is as common in children as adults.

The greatest challenge to parents today is teaching children to manage stress effectively. Children may react to excess stress with behavior that seems immature, inappropriate, or even disturbing. One child exhibits anxiety and tears the night before going back to school. Another child speaks of new teacher and asks her parents questions while trying to imagine the teacher's personality. Another child enjoys shopping for school clothes and looks forward to seeing new friends. 

Stress can be terrifying to children who lack the emotional maturity or experience to understand and deal with it. The challenge for parents, teachers, and other caretakers include how to recognize signs of stress in children of different ages, how to know when stress threatens to overwhelm a child, and what to do about it.

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In Nurture Your Child’s Gift, I offer excellent suggestions to help parents cope with their children’s stress. A stressed-out condition can result from a specific cause or from life in general. Here are some examples:

  • At 17, Jen was a high school senior expecting to graduate with honors in the Spring. Just before Christmas, however, Jen’s father lost his job and the family had to move into the basement of a cousin’s house. Jen soon developed a severe allergy, then asthma. The illness cost her so much time from school that she required home-schooling to make up the difference.
  • Mark was only two when his parents divorced. Confused, Mark wandered the house, calling plaintively for his father, but weekends with Dad made him cry. Most weekends, Mark developed upset stomachs that were so bad he’d miss preschool on Mondays.

Age-Related Stressors

Toddlers need to feel safe and comfortable. Stress for preschool children can arise from a new face at home or at day care, the disappearance of a familiar face, visiting lots of new places at once, or abrupt changes in the family’s structure, relationships or daily routine.
During the grade-school years, children become concerned with pleasing people like teachers, parents, guardians and coaches. School life—even a change in assigned seating or having to take a test—brings higher levels of stress every year. And when it comes to peers, even the threat of diminished acceptance is terrifying. Sleep-overs, birthday parties, sporting events and music competitions can trigger stressful reactions.
Through middle school and beyond, the pressures kids feel from parents, teachers, peers, society at large, and from within increases. Children have to learn adapt to these pressures. Because they have grown in their intelligence, curiosity and knowledge of community, demands for their attention, time, energy and effort can often feel like a tug of war. As in the cases of Mark and Jen, it is not unusual for life-altering events to express themselves in illness. At the University of Missouri, for instance, researcher Mark Flinn found that a child’s risk of upper-respiratory infection increases by 200 percent for the seven days following a high-stress event. And parents like Miranda’s might confuse what they believe are normal behavior with an expression of anxiety. Children often display their tensions in small acts that have aggressive undertones.

How You Can Help

  1. There are many ways parents can help their children deal with stress and stressful situations.
  2. Don’t try to fix everything for the child, and avoid offering advice. Sometimes just listening so that your child feels truly heard may be enough to relieve the stress.
  3. As you listen, ask questions that encourage your child to think a situation through. “What’s the next step?” or “How would you handle that?” are good questions. Ask a lot of “what-if” questions, too.
  4. Help children listen to themselves. Nurture Your Child’s Gift suggests quiet-time techniques for children to listen to nature sounds like rain or waves upon the beach, to their own heartbeat, or to recordings of whales, dolphins or birds.
  5. Encourage children to spend time listening to their thoughts. When they feel free to speak their own thoughts aloud about a situation, things suddenly become clear.
  6. Nurture Your Child’s Gift details a diaphragmatic breathing exercise for kids and parents. Shallow breathing is associated with the production of cortisol, the stress hormone. Deeper, effective breathing produces feelings of relaxation and calm.
  7. Use soothing and rhythmic music, even simple drumming, to help your child relieve muscle tension. It works!
  8. Don’t overlook exercise for releasing stress and tension. It works for your child just as it does for you. Have children walk the dog, get on the treadmill or stretch through easy yoga movements for children.  Any movement they enjoy will help ease stress away.
  9. Parents can do much to alleviate stress in their children’s lives. Effectively dealing with your own stress is the first step. Showing your kids how to release their stress comes next.

 

Copyright © Caron B. Goode.