The Profession of Coaching Parents

A Certified Parenting Coach is a trained professional who works with parents to solve problems, clarify goals, or find solutions to issues relating to parenting and family.

Parenting has never been easy. Among the children, their schooling, your spouse and other engagements, parenting could get complicated or overwhelming. The good news is you can make the best of parenting with the right assistance from a professional parenting coach.

A Certified Parenting Coach has completed professional training in the dynamics of coaching parents through coaching techniques, listening, as well as how to approach problem solving and structuring new situations for success.  A parenting coach is not a therapist. He/she is a trained and experienced professional who uses strategy to assist parents in raising their children and maintaining balance in the family.

The bold difference between a parenting coach and a therapist is the status of parents or clients involved. Parents make a conscious and informed decision to receive assistance from a parenting coach. The aim is not to heal any broken spirits of the past, but to work together to develop more suitable parenting style, responses to daily dealings or solve problems in behavior, communication, or issues that arise.

How Does It Work?

The essence of coaching parents is to offer working solutions to families or parents experiencing some frustration. As children mature and become involved in different social circles, most parents experience frustrating times when the old rules or skills no longer work.

Most parenting problems include variations on these themes:

 Parents with a short temper
 Children who are disrespectful
 Children who are stubborn or defiant
 Homework struggles
 Bedtime struggles
 Sibling rivalry
 Lack of responsibility
 Lack of discipline
 Dealing with a divorce, separation or loss of a loved one
 Low esteem
 Whining or throwing tantrums, and so on

The challenges one could encounter as a parent are endless and sometimes take different forms as children grow up.

A parenting coach is a fast and effective way to manage and eliminate these issues. It all begins when you contact a certified parenting coach. Meetings or consultation can take place either through a detailed phone call conversation or a visit to your home to assess the situation.

During this time a parenting coach does two things for a parent in distress:

1. Listens effectively
The solution to every problem begins when shared. Being able to share your challenges with a kind and compassionate listener is the first step to getting rid of the problem. At this time the parent will feel relieved and supported.

2. Offer personalized solutions
After receiving a full brief of the issue, the parenting coach will be able to identify the problem and brainstorm possible solutions and strategies. This process also involves a series of steps.

First, the parenting coach will ask all necessary questions and provide insight into causes, effects and characteristics of the issue.

The next step can be to equip you with new information that will give you a deeper understanding and view a different perspective on the problem. Now, the once confused parents can begin to see new possibilities and solutions.

Finally, both parent and parenting coach collaborate to come up with ideas and strategies that are peculiar to your family and parenting issue.

Typical parent coaching methodology pays particular attention to helping parents regain confidence and authority in their parenting skills.
Within a few weeks of implementing new strategies and suggestions from your parenting coach, you will see some positive results.

In the end, parents become better equipped to perform their role, while children become accountable and responsible for their actions and life choices.

Benefits of a parenting coach

 It is an effective way to seek assistance and discuss your parenting problems within a professional framework that eliminates the stigma of psychotherapy.
 It is the best option for working or busy parents
 It is an opportunity to broaden your knowledge of parenting.
 It is an excellent career choice.

Why Does It Work?

Parent coaching is useful because its approach is constructive and personalized.

Remember that parent coaching is a team effort. A parent must be open to discussing the full length of the issue and trying new ideas.

Who Needs a Parenting Coach?

Some think that perhaps this option of a parenting coach is for parents who are failing in their role, and this is untrue.

Parent coaching is a choice made my parents, who know how vital their roles are in the lives of their children. It is for parents who are bold enough to seek help when they meet a roadblock in parenting.

It is for those who desire a focused and strategic means to solve various problems that parents often encounter with their child.

Who Can Be a Parenting Coach?

The thing about parenting is that it belongs to everyone. Professionals who feel called to serve parents and families respond to their calling. Parenting coaches share certain traits like enjoying working with children, youth and parents, crafting conversations, finding answers,  and discussing discipline solutions

Also, if you are a parent or a child care provider, you can equally learn how to be more effective in your role.I have always believed in the full benefits of the profession of a parenting coach. The process of learning, practicing or consulting with a parenting coach presents equal opportunities for each of us to gain something profound easily.

 

Summary of A Good Fit of Parent’s and Child’s Temperaments

 When coaches or consultants are working with parents or a family, take time with parents to establish a good fit between the parent's temperament and the child's temperament. 

What Is Creating a Good Fit?

The term "goodness of fit, or used here as the good fit, refers to parents meeting the needs of a child by parenting according to the temperament of each child. The goodness of fit between a child's temperament and your parenting temperament style is essential for healthy social and emotional development for both you and your child. Also, you want to meet your personal needs as a parent in daily living from sleeping well at night to scheduling date nights.

How To Create A Good Fit?

The Nine Traits Inventory is helpful in determining reaction patterns in children and typically is used from infancy through the first to fifth grade. For example, two-year-old Lucy was very shy. Each month when Mom's book group came for an evening, Lucy's mom thought she was helping by pushing Lucy forward or holding Lucy while mom's friends hugged her hello. Lucy, however, appeared frightened and pulled back.

Being with and observing your child, you start to note how he or she responds to people, environments, stress, food, etc. You'll be observant of how you react. Are you reactive? Or are you proactive? 

Your goal is to become an active parent by recognizing feelings and watching behaviors. The more you observe your child's traits, the more prepared you're a master at managing and supporting temperaments. You are watching your child adapt, and then you adjust to varied environments and situations as you go along. Lucy's mom took the hint when a book club member mentioned that because Lucy seemed overly shy, why not let her hang out at the book club meeting for several weeks without pushing her into anyone or anything. Instead, the friend suggested that Lucy explores and find her level of comfort in her way. These moms would watch how she did it and learned what comforted Lucy. That advice was excellent for Lucy's mom to allow temperament expressions to evolve into a good fit for the situation. 

What Does Adapting the Environment Mean?

Here are examples of how different parents handled changing the environment to meet the needs of a child.

Marilynn got upset when something new was happening the next day or an activity would be different. Her mom started talking about the exciting new event one week before it would happen. She'd mention in normal conversation each night, and the night before the event was the most critical. Marilynn asked, "Is it tomorrow?" Mom responded wth yes, which made Marilynn cry more. Marilynn would speak of being scared and not liking new things she didn't know about. Mom adapted the environment by talking about the event with her daughter. She left an additional hour for Marilynn to get ready for bed, cry, read a book, and talk some more before turning off the light. On the following mornings, Marilynn did all right and held herself together. Somehow, her living through the fear before the event seemed to make her happier to be there.

Do you see how common sense the adaptations can be?

What questions do you have about a good fit between parents and children?