One sensitive issue parents contend with is their child’s temperament. Understanding children’s inborn traits is a key to better parenting and happier children, especially in the development years.
Before my daughter was born, I imagined her to be a specific type of a good-natured child. As she grew up, I realized my always viewing her as good-natured was a pre-conceived idea I had. Her childhood moods meandered through creative, sensitive, emotional, and even defiant in the early teen years. And she was good natured about most events in her life.
Understanding her temperament enabled me not to blame my self for her situations. Instead, I learned strategies to deal with difficult circumstances or conditions. One point of discipline I followed was to diffuse challenging situation so as not to escalate into major conflicts that might cause harm.
Temperament information helps you see how your child learns, responds, reacts, and behaves. Through the earlier years of development, you see reactions begin to form into a pattern of values, needs, and fears:
+++++ One child needs closeness, touch, and assurance from parents.Thus, he values following his parents, climbing in their laps and being cuddled or held.
His fear of not having the needs met, or when his needs are not met, he feels, hurt, lost, or angry.
+++++ Another youngster values being by herself–independence.
She plays with her dolls and likes doing so by herself.
Her need to learn through trial an error means that she pushes parents away sometimes with the familiar, “I can do it.”
+++++ Children, who readily and quickly shift, show adaptive temperaments. They learn more by doing and practicing.
+++++ Children, who have slower-to-warm temperaments, learn by watching and rehearsing internally.
+++++ Children’s challenging temperaments cause us to regroup:
- Ask what is the child going through?
- Is this a temperament trait or learned behavior that needs to change?
- Are the child’s needs being met?
- Are fears causing issues?
- Has the child’s value been diminished in any way?
This child views the world through optimistic eyes, adapts quickly and maintains positivity well. He is a natural learner, eats and sleeps regularly (has no trouble sleeping), is pleasant and cheerful, and displays a low-intensity mood.
Because this child feels deeply in certain situations, he has few significant emotional outbursts. This type comprises about 40% of all people.
The Feisty/Difficult/Spirited group of children comprises about 10% of the population. This grouping is the opposite of the flexible children. Feisty children are slow to adapt to the routines: napping, eating, homework, quiet time. Moreover, bowel movements are not regular. The spirited child has preferences for parents to discover and manage. On the hand, the child shows his mastery for specific tasks.
The feisty child has tantrums, is fussy, and can be unpleasant in disagreements. With high energy, this child explores with intensity and can get into mischief, On the other hand, he or she is bursting with energy and explores the surrounding and people intensely.
The third general temperament type is aptly called Slow-To-Warm, and 15% of the population belongs to this category. Slow to warm types are shy or highly-sensitive persons (which they sometimes are. They watch their world and usually observe on the outside of things before joining. Their internal clock is disrupted easily and shows up in irregular sleeping, feeding and other personal habits. This child seems to be always enjoying things or doing them at his own sweet pace.
The rest of the 35% of the population are combinations of several temperaments. They exhibit traits of all three temperament types and cannot be categorized into a single trait pattern. The feature they share is that they have characteristics of all three temperaments.
In all these temperament types, you will also find yours. Understanding children and their temperaments include understanding your own. Doing so will open your eyes to the many areas where you can connect to that of your children, or whether you are compatible with each other or not.
Sometimes you meet another person, and the two of you instantly click. You hit it off and keeping a conversation going becomes natural and effortless.
Other times, you meet someone and they either don’t leave an impression at all, or you can’t stand them from the start. The big question is what makes the difference? Why do we click with some people and not others?
The answer is rapport, which is defined as a harmonious relationship… people understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.
When we click with someone, we’re building rapport. We find some common ground, and that instantly connects us. Maybe we have kids the same age or enjoy gardening. Once you establish that connection, it is hard to break. Establishing rapport helps you be better at forging relationships with new clients or neighbors. You let your winning personality shine. This ensures you have that rapport with whoever you meet as often as possible.
Rapport actually starts by paying attention and listening intently. Play Sherlock Holmes and see what you can find out or deduce about the person across from you. Take a genuine interest in their passion and purpose. That’s all it takes to create that initial rapport, and your conversations and interactions will go that much smoother.
Then, you can choose to make the most of this initial connection and rapport. While this strategy may help you get your foot in the door, it’s up to you to treat a client or friend with honesty and respect and make sure that their needs are met. To continue a mutually beneficially relationship, keep in mind what value you provide for them going forward. In other words, clicking with another person is only the first step. It’s important because it gets the two of you off to a great start, but it’s not everything.
To help clients, the consultants and the coaches can offer ways to help people control their thoughts or habits and become happier people. Determine what they need and fulfill those needs where possible.
What certified professional coaches do for their clients falls along the line of helping to determine the goals and committing to their achievement. The coach’s role is also to help the client be accountable.
On the other hand, certified professional consultants help their clients by giving advice, and also could fill in the coaching role. There are two ways to approach a client’s fulfillment.
The first, behavior modification, allows you to change a person’s undesirable behaviors using positive reinforcement.
The second method of influencing is reality modification, and we’ll concentrate most of our attention on this. This influencing technique is successful because of the way that you present your request. You know what people need.
There are three primary goals people subconsciously seek:
- Symbolic rewards
- Material gains
We all need symbolic rewards, such as recognition and praise. Everybody wants to feel valuable or unique. The act of praising and recognizing another is a strong motivator. Always reward good deeds with praise, and give positive, constructive criticism where change is needed. If you are patient, in time you will see the results of your work with your client.
Material rewards mean a lot to people, whether they realize it or not. In any capitalist society, some people view one’s material gain as a symbol of high value. Since money produces material gain, it is a strong motivator, and it can have a strong influence on others.
Everyone needs security and stability. Security is attained when people feel they belong and are needed by others. People want security in their jobs, friends, and families. There are many ways to increase other people’s feelings of security:
- Clearly define for others what you have to offer and what you expect from them in return. Tell them why the relationship you have with them is the way it is.
- Make people feel that they are needed and belong in the relationship with you. Show a need for their presence.
- Let others know what their efforts are accomplishing and how they are affecting you. Show them that their efforts are appreciated.
- Make sure that parties in the relationship are compatible.
- Emphasize comfort. Make sure people are comfortable in their relationships with you.
Host a Giveaway Event With Other Marketers
A giveaway event startles some newcomers to online marketing. First, they don’t like the idea of giving away anything and not being compensated for it. That’s just a part of developing loyalty and good branding so you have to think of it like you’re walking through Sam’s Club for groceries and someone hands you a bite-sized taste. You appreciate that, right? The second that worries them is the thought of sharing their up and coming list with others. If you join a giveaway event with 5 other marketers, it’s not just you sending your list to them – it’s them sending their list to you, so you have the potential to increase your list five-fold! You have to eliminate your stingy mindset and think in terms of providing your list with a value opportunity. You’re going to share your audience. You probably already do that anyway if you’re an affiliate marketer (or plan to be). It’s no different.
Research Other Thought Leaders in Your Night
So once you decide you want to host a giveaway event with other marketers, yo have to find who you want to line up with. If you don’t already have a group of people in mind, you have to start finding them. Spy on other marketers who are on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus. Look for the people your followers follow and see if you see any candidates. See who is talking about the same topics and who are the leaders who have people sharing their content. Look on Amazon to see which Kindle self published authors are on there using Kindle to attract a new audience. Look inside their book to see if you like what and how they teach and look for ways to contact them. SEO (search engine optimization) rank is another way to find thought leaders in your niche. If you are a leader, chances are you have stability in the search engines, and people are sharing your links and helping fortify your position, so reach out to those people who have earned that ranking. You want to see what the size of their following is. Ideally, you’ll be hooking up with other marketers at or above your level of list strength so that you pull in more people to your own list. Sign up to list to see what they offer and how they operate. You want people similar to what you do. You definitely don’t want to align yourself with any scammers or unethical individuals. Reach out for JV giveaway partners on threads in marketing forums. The Warrior Forum, for example, has a JV section where you could post your opportunity, but make sure you filter the people instead of allowing it to be a free for all. If your audience exists, and you already have a list going to some extent, then ask them who they align you with. You’ll usually have people responding to tell you that they know of 1-2 other people similar to you who they respect. Contact each person you vet for viability and then ask if they’d be interested in forming a joint giveaway with you. Gauge general interest at first or, go ahead to the next step and create your guidelines and email your prospects the guidelines along with your initial request.
Create Guidelines for the Giveaway
After you contact the others (or even before), create a list of guidelines for the participants. There are several things you can include, or leave out what doesn’t matter. Size (like number of pages) might be a consideration for you. For instance, it might be a 50+ page eBook or 5 page short report. Maybe it’s an article pack or even five hours of video or audio tutorials. Maybe you’ll want to put a dollar limit on it and make it value based. For example, “Must be something you normally sell for at least $27.” You’ll want to put the value on the offers to show the visitors everything they’re getting free. Topics might be a consideration, too. You’ll already be honing in on people who are in the same niche, but you might want to go one step further. For example, let’s say you are in the diet niche. Your giveaway event might be built around one topic, like nutrition. So everyone has to submit a product for the event about nutrition. They can’t focus on diet drugs or exercise. Themes are similar to this concept, and you might want to create a theme for your giveaway event. Using the diet niche as an example again, you might use something like this: • 7 Ways to Kickstart Your Diet • Eliminating the Quitter Mindset • 14-Days to a Trimmer Waist So everyone who submits for a certain theme must produce something that helps back up that concept. You also want to detail the time until the event for your prospective participants. They need time to create something unique for the giveaway. The less time you give them to prepare, the fewer people who will join in and the worse the quality will be. So plan well in advance of your event. Figure out how people will get each offer. Will they go to a squeeze page and opt in to the person’s list to receive their download? Or will you not make opt ins a requirement, but instead add promotions to the download area or zip files? You might also want to set guidelines on whether the submission has to be something 100% brand new or if it can be older products that they already have on the market.
Set Up the Page for the Giveaway Event
Like sales copy, the giveaway event should have copy that promotes the offer. You want to inform, educate and excite your audience about what they’re about to receive. You’ll want to include some simple instructions for what they need to do to get their free downloads. The more complex you make it, the worse off your event will be. Terms and rights will need to be included in some instances. For example, if you’re hosting a private label rights giveaway event. Each marketer might have different terms, so those should be listed with each offer. Start with a catchy headline and maybe a subheadline before launching into a bit of storyline for the sale. Beside each offer name, include a picture of the marketer, tell what their offer is, give the specifications or details of their offer, and provide the link to where they grab it. The promotion should have some sort of time scarcity. You don’t want to leave it wide open forever. If you have plenty of advanced notice and build a lot of buzz, then you should be fine doing a 24 hour to 7 day giveaway event, max. Create graphics for the sale just as if you were launching an info product. That means a minisite feel, ecovers for the offers if applicable, and even promo banners for the event. You might want to create a set of swipe files for the event too. This makes it easy for the participants to either use it as is or as springboard content that they can tweak and blast out to their list.
Promote the Event
You can’t just make the event go live and expect people to find it via the search engines. Your page would need time to get indexed and ranked for domination. So you need to manually promote it. Building a buzz should take place shortly before the event and every day thereafter by every member who is onboard for the special giveaway event, not just by one person. Come up with a daily promo idea such as asking people (your list, your social networking followers), “Who’s your favorite?” Discuss the various participants and get their feedback on which offer blew them away. Share that feedback with your audience online and bill that favorite as a “can’t miss” free download to drive more traffic to the giveaway. Discuss specific offers in more depth like a review – or offer a tutorial for them. So for instance, if you were in a PLR giveaway event, and there was one pack for a 35-page eBook, you might do a lesson on how to repurpose that person’s giveaway freebie. You’re showing your people (your blog readers, etc.) how to get more mileage out of this event, and that will hook the people who heard about the offer but passed over it because they were unsure how to put it to good use. Social networking sites will need to have a buzz about your event. Whip up posts for Twitter, Google Plus, and Facebook (as well as Pinterest). Make sure you provide a call to action that says they should visit the event and share the post with others! Host a webinar with the participants of the giveaway. Invite everyone’s list to the event and then have each person do a short presentation. If you want to up the ante a bit, do a Q&A afterwards. Have everyone in the event blog about it. Each person should email their list a link to their blog to read about the event and get more details, in addition to linking directly to the event itself.
Choosing a Cross Promo Instead of a Giveaway Event
Picking one marketer to cross promo with is another option. You don’t have to have a big group of individuals initially. Sometimes it’s hard when you’re relatively unknown with a small list (or no list at all) to get people to agree to be part of your event. So if this happens, just try getting one person to agree to an event. If you have a list yourself, and are trying to grow it, choose someone with a list approximately the same size as yours. If you have no list, then choose someone with a bigger list and make an unbelievable free offer just for their list. Why would anyone want to come onboard for this type of exchange? Because your offer is going to be so awesome, they’ll be providing something great for their list. What you’ll have to do is explain this to the potential joint venture partner and go above and beyond in what you create for their list. In fact, try to tailor it to their subscribers’ needs. The JV partner will probably also want to know what kind of marketer you are. If they’re established, then they probably get requests all the time for promotions and other deals. They’re looking for someone ethical. Why is this important? Because they’re about to put their own reputation on the line and recommend that their subscribers sign up with you. If they send them to the jaws of a scammer, they’ll be the one blamed. So somehow, prove to the prospective JV partner that you’re on the up and up and that it’s safe to engage in a cross promotion with you. You can do a free event, or if the prospective partner won’t go for that, see if he or she will possibly entertain the thought of letting you give their list a different kind of perk – a discount on a paid product. Coupons are also special and show a list that you’re working on their behalf to get them good deals. Make it a special offer so that it’s not just the same discount everyone else online gets. Giveaway and cross-promo events can be a great list building activity. It forces you to give it your all and showcase the best that you have to offer to the paying public and they’ll be more loyal from that point on.