One sensitive issue parents contend with is their child’s temperament. Understanding children’s inborn traits is a key to better parenting and happier children, especially in the development years.
Before my daughter was born, I imagined her to be a specific type of a good-natured child. As she grew up, I realized my always viewing her as good-natured was a pre-conceived idea I had. Her childhood moods meandered through creative, sensitive, emotional, and even defiant in the early teen years. And she was good natured about most events in her life.
Understanding her temperament enabled me not to blame my self for her situations. Instead, I learned strategies to deal with difficult circumstances or conditions. One point of discipline I followed was to diffuse challenging situation so as not to escalate into major conflicts that might cause harm.
Temperament information helps you see how your child learns, responds, reacts, and behaves. Through the earlier years of development, you see reactions begin to form into a pattern of values, needs, and fears:
+++++ One child needs closeness, touch, and assurance from parents.Thus, he values following his parents, climbing in their laps and being cuddled or held.
His fear of not having the needs met, or when his needs are not met, he feels, hurt, lost, or angry.
+++++ Another youngster values being by herself–independence.
She plays with her dolls and likes doing so by herself.
Her need to learn through trial an error means that she pushes parents away sometimes with the familiar, “I can do it.”
+++++ Children, who readily and quickly shift, show adaptive temperaments. They learn more by doing and practicing.
+++++ Children, who have slower-to-warm temperaments, learn by watching and rehearsing internally.
+++++ Children’s challenging temperaments cause us to regroup:
- Ask what is the child going through?
- Is this a temperament trait or learned behavior that needs to change?
- Are the child’s needs being met?
- Are fears causing issues?
- Has the child’s value been diminished in any way?
This child views the world through optimistic eyes, adapts quickly and maintains positivity well. He is a natural learner, eats and sleeps regularly (has no trouble sleeping), is pleasant and cheerful, and displays a low-intensity mood.
Because this child feels deeply in certain situations, he has few significant emotional outbursts. This type comprises about 40% of all people.
The Feisty/Difficult/Spirited group of children comprises about 10% of the population. This grouping is the opposite of the flexible children. Feisty children are slow to adapt to the routines: napping, eating, homework, quiet time. Moreover, bowel movements are not regular. The spirited child has preferences for parents to discover and manage. On the hand, the child shows his mastery for specific tasks.
The feisty child has tantrums, is fussy, and can be unpleasant in disagreements. With high energy, this child explores with intensity and can get into mischief, On the other hand, he or she is bursting with energy and explores the surrounding and people intensely.
The third general temperament type is aptly called Slow-To-Warm, and 15% of the population belongs to this category. Slow to warm types are shy or highly-sensitive persons (which they sometimes are. They watch their world and usually observe on the outside of things before joining. Their internal clock is disrupted easily and shows up in irregular sleeping, feeding and other personal habits. This child seems to be always enjoying things or doing them at his own sweet pace.
The rest of the 35% of the population are combinations of several temperaments. They exhibit traits of all three temperament types and cannot be categorized into a single trait pattern. The feature they share is that they have characteristics of all three temperaments.
In all these temperament types, you will also find yours. Understanding children and their temperaments include understanding your own. Doing so will open your eyes to the many areas where you can connect to that of your children, or whether you are compatible with each other or not.
When you see a successful online entrepreneur like a parenting coach, how do you respond?
Are you jealous because you want to be that person?
Are you wishful and feel like the success couldn’t happen to you?
Are you scared and back away because it hurts too much to be who you are and not that successful entrepreneur?
When you feel bogged down in your personal or professional ruts, take note of your wish or longing to be in your own online business. After all, running a successful online business looks comfortable from the outsider’s viewpoint.
What is the online entrepreneur doing that is different?
How does he seem to have a great life without working that hard?
What you don’t see is the slow, yet persistent, process of long hours at the computer, tedious tasks, and focused time on these key elements:
Wearing the beginner’s mindset
Focusing on the intention, not the goal at first.
Recognizing and using leverage.
Building a set of useful contacts.
Hiring a valuable mentor
All of the elements are crucial to the success of your online business. Let’s take a closer look.
Wearing the Beginner’s Mindset
The success of any brick-and-mortar or online business needs the best personal mindset from the beginning.
A healthy mindset doesn’t guarantee success, but it is the best step of strength in the right directions.
[ctt template=”5″ link=”upfNV” via=”yes” ]Healthy, prosperous thinking is a foundation stone for an online business success. @parent_coach[/ctt]
What Is A Heathy Mindset?
1. The willingness to focus on the task as long as is necessary to achieve your goals, even if you set only one goal per day.
2. Start with a sound business plan from the beginning and don’t fly by the seat of your pants. Don’t believe that you can learn and earn as you go along.
3. Don’t hope for the best. Rather, make the best happen through your intentions and goals and get help when you need it.
Recognizing and Using Leverage
Stretch your time and dollars far as you learn to use the power of the Internet to make your online business successful.
Your first temptation may be to do everything first. That isn’t possible. Building your foundation first is more realistic.
The foundation is your base of operations:
Intentions and values that guide your business
Determine your brand and how you want to represent yourself or your business.
Website – leverage search engine optimization
Gain page rank on Google through content like blogging, a course, or through articles on blogs or videos on vlogs.
These steps leverage your becoming indexed and available in the search engines. Leveraging also includes branding yourself, your website and your products.
Your reputation and credibility are everything on the internet. Don’t take any shortcuts.
Want to start a successful online business but don’t know where to start? Does all the steps for making a business successful seems dreadful to you?
Have a look at our course Successful Business Set-up in systemized steps and join us for a journey to take your business from a startup to a success.
Successful Business Set-up in systemized steps
Many parents have told ACPI family coaches that understanding how their core temperaments clashed with their child’s developing traits was a profound experience.
My Role Is…
The certified family coach or consultant is an upbeat example and influence in assisting families today. Coaching Families could include defining their values, creating a family crest, making communication maps, or establishing family meetings. Coaching families could include systematizing the routines that help family member enjoy each other more.
The coaches define:
- The roles they wish to offer families,
- How to design the family-coach agreement,
- Their personal brand, strengths, and their coaching tools,
- Discuss their ideas of how coaching with families looks and works
The skills for coaching families received through ACPI training include:
- Knowing personal core values
- Knowing core temperaments traits
- Demonstrating how you recognize core temperament patterns in your life.
- Demonstrating why this is a foundation for your coaching skills
- Demonstrating why this knowledge is beneficial in working with a family member or members, and how it empowers your ability to coach people.
- Determine family needs – time management? Financial planning? De-stress times? Prioritize values and family decisions.
- Coaching through discipline issues
In interviewing Elizabeth about being a parenting coach, she asked, “But who would listen to me? What if I can’t connect to a client?”
Her questions were valid, and they also revealed low self-worth. This thinking could keep Elizabeth from achieving important goals and becoming all that she desired to be.
- Do you feel that you’re not good enough for people to pay you?
- Do you underestimate that your insight could have a positive influence on others?
- Have self-worth issues affected your friendships or personal relationships?
Many of our unworthy feelings might come from what we experienced in childhood or from negative life experiences as an adult. Have you dealt with low esteem at some point in your life? Or have low self-worth issues affected your choices? Upset your relationships? Then to improve your self-worth and gain confidence as a parent coach or a family consultant, try these three steps.
Step Out: Visit with a friend, who is also a parent, and ask his or her permission to speak up. Tihs is your practice session:
- “I’ve observed Ian’s behavior, and I have a suggestion to increase your results in getting him to sleep. Does that work for you?”
- “I’d like to suggest that…”
- “Can I practice coaching you as a parent…”
How much is an in-depth coaching session worth to you?
You Can Change
Why do you feel you don’t deserve a fair price for your work efforts? You can change that mindset. You can overcome your doubt. One way is to create new habits like these, for instance:
- Practice offering suggestions to friends several times a week. They key is to ask their permission or to ask how you can help?
- You can mentally reprogram those negative voices with positive ones so that you feel worthy of earning and gaining wealth.
Don’t I Have To Be an Expert?
When Elizabeth asked this question, she explained that she felt a lack of coaching experience. This problem is common for many of us until we get our feet wet.
Like Elizabeth, we have to remember which urgent feeling inside led to the place of wanting to build a business. The typical answer is that we are here to help others, provide connection and communication that serves the higher good.
Over time, Elizabeth felt assured that her listening skills would carry the coach-client conversation until she thought to add her two cents. And she was a patient listener, who learned to speak up and ask more question,s when she felt the client needed insight. At last, she had moved beyond feeling unworthy and needing to prove herself.
Sometimes, like Elizabeth, an entrepreneurial coach has a desire to learn and a passion for helping. Being honest with people who seek advice is another virtue that entrepreneurs need to cultivate, rather than advise or guess at answers. Or, offer to find solutions, which is how Linda grew in her confidence.
Grow Into Your Confidence
We want to feel good about ourselves. When we are confident, we feel better emotionally and mentally, and this reflects positively on our behaviors and improves our quality of life, from personal relationships to our professional endeavors.
Thus, whatever helps boost our self-confidence is good for us. One of the best ways to do this is by exercising regularly. Exercise is not only good for self-assurance but has excellent health benefits.
So how can exercise boost self-confidence? Try these steps, perhaps one every other day, to have a new experience of confidence.
A Step in Building Your Self Confidence
Your confidence is the accumulation of all your reactions to the experiences that life brought you. Many factors contribute to the personal understanding of confidence.
One determining influence is how right are the circumstances of your life. Do you tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations? In the process, the losses could become too painful, and you eventually suffer the effects of lower self-confidence.
On the other hand, if you rely more on playing safe and creating more achievable goals that are easier to attain, then you act with confidence. Also, achievements add to the development of self-confidence.
People, especially those with low self-worth like Elizabeth, benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing well. They should strive to gain the confidence.
You may already have heard the phrase, “It is all in your mind.” The statement is true for some psychological and emotional conditions that have mental roots. Thus, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don’t want. You can suppress emotions, and in the process, you help feelings materialize. To deepen your confidence, watching your thoughts and the words you say are how you grow in awareness. What you speak are not mere words, but concepts that dug deep within and integrated into your being. If you believe in these phrases, then there is no way that you won’t understand their direct opposite expressions.
Central to building self-confidence is one’s belief about self, much like Elizabeth’s honest statements. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. The motivation to change must come from you. You start with talking to yourself using positive statements. Self-talk research shows that you do not have to believe in such statements. However, saying, thinking, or reading the statements do sink in and have a positive effect.
You, the confident, can change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.