To help clients, the consultants and the coaches can offer ways to help people control their thoughts or habits and become happier people. Determine what they need and fulfill those needs where possible.
What certified professional coaches do for their clients falls along the line of helping to determine the goals and committing to their achievement. The coach's role is also to help the client be accountable.
The first, behavior modification, allows you to change a person's undesirable behaviors using positive reinforcement.
The second method of influencing is reality modification, and we'll concentrate most of our attention on this. This influencing technique is successful because of the way that you present your request. You know what people need.
There are three primary goals people subconsciously seek:
- Symbolic rewards
- Material gains
We all need symbolic rewards, such as recognition and praise. Everybody wants to feel valuable or unique. The act of praising and recognizing another is a strong motivator. Always reward good deeds with praise, and give positive, constructive criticism where change is needed. If you are patient, in time you will see the results of your work with your client.
Material rewards mean a lot to people, whether they realize it or not. In any capitalist society, some people view one's material gain as a symbol of high value. Since money produces material gain, it is a strong motivator, and it can have a strong influence on others.
Everyone needs security and stability. Security is attained when people feel they belong and are needed by others. People want security in their jobs, friends, and families. There are many ways to increase other people's feelings of security:
- Clearly define for others what you have to offer and what you expect from them in return. Tell them why the relationship you have with them is the way it is.
- Make people feel that they are needed and belong in the relationship with you. Show a need for their presence.
- Let others know what their efforts are accomplishing and how they are affecting you. Show them that their efforts are appreciated.
- Make sure that parties in the relationship are compatible.
- Emphasize comfort. Make sure people are comfortable in their relationships with you.